To have walked away from my volunteering job?

[WitheringHeights8]

I’ve just stepped down from volunteering as a Brownie leader, and I feel heartbroken .

I’ve run two units for over a year, and have put in a huge amount of time and emotional energy. The girls were happy, engaged, and responded well to the structure and care I brought to meetings. I genuinely believe I created a safe space where they could be themselves.

Recently, one of the other volunteers (who is rarely there but whose daughter attends ) critiqued my leadership in a group meeting. She claimed the girls were “stressed” and implied I was being too hard on them—but in the same breath told me I should be “more militant but not hard.” It was contradictory, vague, and hurtful.

Worse, our District Commissioner (who was there to mediate) didn’t intervene or support me. Another senior volunteer also piled on. I felt completely ambushed—there was no heads-up, no one-to-one conversation, just an orchestrated “reset meeting” that turned into a public dressing-down.

I’ve since left, but I can’t stop turning it over in my head. The girls seemed happy and relaxed. I never had any concerns raised before this. It feels like adult politics and personal discomfort were being projected onto me—but the feedback was framed as being “for the good of the girls,” which feels like a cheap way to make criticism stick.

AIBU to feel betrayed and like I’ve been pushed out under false pretences?

It sounds like it was handled extremely badly and i don't blame you for leaving. I doubt either of those volunteers will step up, and the girls will lose their brownie packs, which is a shame. More militant but not hard is hard to understand, did they give any indication of what that would look like at all?

I am a scout volunteer as well and some of the personalities are hideous! I left a scout group as the leader was just awful to me,

YANBU, they shouldn't have made you feel that way, can't you stay if you enjoyed it and try and mediate?

Also, what sort of leadership meeting was it? The trustees shouldn't be meeting with leaders and the district commissioner.

But there are a lot of ego type personalities in scouts. I felt awful when I stepped back from the group with the awful leader, but it was destroying my mental health!

I'm a hard nosed professional by trade (many years in the city), so it was discombobulating!

YANBU to have walked away.
I suspect anyone would, after that.

However,
Worse, our District Commissioner (who was there to mediate) didn’t intervene or support me. Another senior volunteer also piled on. I felt completely ambushed—there was no heads-up, no one-to-one conversation, just an orchestrated “reset meeting” that turned into a public dressing-down.

this doesn't make sense to me. How can it be a "reset meeting" if you knew nothing about it? How can the DC have been there if you knew nothing about it? What meeting did you think you were attending ? What did the DC say when you asked what was going on and why you had been told nothing about it?

As I say, anyone can walk from any role at any time, but I would be interested to hear this from one of the other people there.

It's upsetting but you've had the same feedback regarding your year long leadership from 3 different people.

I'm not surprised you stepped down as it sounds like they handled it badly.

And it's up to you whether you want to reflect on the things they fed back to you, or just shrug it off and be done with it.

Hey, I'll copy th email the DC sent me

Hi Ladies

I have spoken to most of you over the last week and wanted to confirm that as I cancelled Brownies last week and this coming Thursday, we will use this time on Thursday this week to have a Reset Meeting. My understanding is that everyone is still keen to volunteer and we just need to resolve how it will work in practice.

I can join you for the first half hour from 6pm and presume that meeting at [redacted] would be easiest for everyone. Please let me know if this will not work.

All adult volunteers are invited to this meeting and I propose that the following points are discussed:

• Meeting plan until the summer holidays
• Sleepover review (note it may be best to also have a meeting with the volunteers from 9th and 22nd to run through altogether how it is going to work.)

If you have any questions please let me know.

Regards

My understanding is that everyone is still keen to volunteer and we just need to resolve how it will work in practice.

Grovel grovel grovel

Treat your volunteers like crap and leave them feeling unappreciated and they will leave! I don't blame you OP.
Such a shame. Brownies was such a lovely part of my childhood and there are now so many experiences like yours. I have a friend who is a volunteer and she says similar to you.