AIBU to always have rushed mornings - need to get a routine!

[Wakeywakey678]

NC for personal reasons. I have suffered with depression for many years now and am feeling in a better place of late. I work (9am start) and have a school run to do (leave at 8.20am).

After many years of struggling to get myself up, I am finally finding my motivation to be more of a 'morning person' this year... but I'm struggling to find a morning routine. I have never had one because of my depression and it's hard!

At the moment I get up at 7.45am, check that the kids have got themselves up and ready, then shower/get ready/brush my teeth and eat some toast or fruit before we leave the house. I feel like I'm not giving myself enough time in the mornings. I always leave the kitchen in a mess. I never get any laundry done before work, meaning it's a rush in the evening. I want to make better use of my time before we leave for school run. DH works in London so leaves early, meaning I don't have help in the morning.

To me, this routine feels rushed and stressful. Am I not being unreasonable to think I should be getting up earlier? Please be kind, but I'd love to hear your morning routines if you're in a similar position to me with a school run and working also. I am grateful that my mental health has improved, but I am a bit stuck on finding a way to move forward.

TIA x

I almost always put a wash on the night before and set it to finish just after I wake up so it can be hung up outside. Recently we have all been deciding on the breakfast the night before so there's no fighting over what to have. Having lunch ready the night before makes a big difference but I can't say I can always be bothered. Ditto getting clothes out and getting bags ready. Our kitchen is usually left a mess, I'd say that's normal.

When I did the school run and started work after I’d get up at 6 and wake the children at 7. As you currently don’t get up until 7:45 I think 6 would be unrealistic, maybe try 7:15 as half an hour will make a huge difference..

Definitely not giving yourself enough time. We get up roughly 7am for school runs at 8am and 8:45am. And I never shower in the morning or eat breakfast. I would eat when I come back home after 8:45am school run. I’m off work at the moment, but we both wfh so no getting ourselves ready to leave for the day. It’s kids only. If I had to leave for work myself, I’d probably get up at 6:30 ish.

MNetters who don't do x1 load of washing per week are cuckoo. Just do whites and linens one week, dark the next, linens the next, and lights the next, and repeat!

Also , tidy up as you go.

As pp said get as much set up the night before as you can.
Put washing on timer, prep breakfast (eg overnight oats), choose and set out your clothes, get bags and lunches ready...
Leave as little as possible for the morning.
I'm barely conscious in the morning and this is the only way I can function.

I have a similar routine albeit DS is 5 so I have to help get him ready in there too, we do get to leave 10 mins later for the school run though which is our saving grace. I’ve long given up on the idea that I’ll do anything productive of a morning. When it comes to it, I like to lie in bed until the last minute. I’ve tried to change it over the years but now I just embrace it, do as much prep the night before as I can, and wing it in the mornings.

I am rubbish in the morning. So I literally have everything down to my knickers sitting out ready to go.
I have my make up sitting out in order of what I need.
I wake at 7am have a coffee and have ten minutes to me. We are on economy 7 and always have a wash to hang out. I will do that. Then make porridge and wake kids and make sure they are washed dressed etc. Then we are out the door around 8.10am. It would be panic stations if it got up at 7.35. The extra 35min makes all
the difference

Bloody hell, I’m quite a morning person and I don’t faff about with laundry in the morning before work or school! Just get that done at the weekend.

I like to leave about 90 mins so I’d get up at 7.

You aren't giving yourself enough time in the morning if you want to do more than get yourself and the kids ready and out of the house. I don't mean that judgmentally - it's just true. You're making good use of the time you give yourself. And if that's the time you feel your best waking up, that's great - it's not morally superior to do chores in the morning rather than the evening.

We get up at 6:30 (the kids get us up...) for DH to leave at 8 and me at 8:30 with the kids. We get ready in shifts (ours are small enough to need watching). DH has time to get the dog out for a ten minute pee walk. I have time to put a wash on and hang it out/put in dryer, make lunches, pack bags, top-tidy kitchen. I don't like doing it the night before -either I'm working post kids bedtime or I want to switch off entirely - so I just take the mornings being the busy time.

I generally think working full time or almost and having school aged kids means time is always crunched somewhere. Those "get ready with me" vids with leisurely Bible study and a freshly made smoothie cause you got up at 4:30 and are so together are not real life.

Quite simply, you need to get up earlier.

I had no kids, but would always want at least an hour between getting up and leaving the house. So as well as the usual shower, loo get dressed etc, I have half an hour minimum to sit calmly and eat my breakfast whilst perusing the newspaoer headlines. It means my brain is engaged and ready for the day. I never, ever rush.
Getting up at 7.45 is really pretty late, so I'd be aiming for a 7am waje up (& stra6out of bed) if I were you, OP.

I leave at 0820 for a school run then 0900 work start.
My alarm goes off 0645. I get up 0700. Shower/dress/hair /make up then downstairs 0730. I do pack lunches for ds and me, make ds breaking,help dds get their stuff ready and then try to progress as much housework as I can, so I am always leaving the place better than I arrived. I get everyone to help but we do things like empty and reload dishy. Get stuff onto the calendar, take up laundry, sort socks. Sometimes dust. Wash on. And as we leave we start the hoover robot.

It is great, feels like a very productive start to the day

I always had bags packed, lunches made and uniform laid out the night before. I got up at 6.30 so could have a cup of tea, wash and dress before getting the kids up at 7ish. They had breakfast then brush teeth and wash face etc, get themselves dressed and we'd be out of the house by 8. So yes, I would say you need to get up earlier and also prep as much as you can the night before (book bags, P.E kits etc)

How come everyine dies laundry overnight to hang out in the morning?! What if it rains??

I wouldn't worry about the laundry - you can do that when you get home.

But I think you are getting up too late for your morning. If you got up at 7 am you could have coffee/breakfast/chill a bit and still be out for 8.20. getting up 35 minutes before you need to leave the house is too tight.

I am in the US where tbh people generally give themselves loads of time to get places (at least where I am). When I got into a school lift I realised they would all leave 30 mins before I would - plenty of time/arrive early/allow for disruptions.

It was like a revelation. My life got so much easier when we gave extra time. No stress, no rush. getting up half an hour earlier was not a big deal.

I would try giving yourself more time in the morning.

I get up a 645 , get breakfast for me and dc. I get showered/dressed at 730. Dc get dressed at 8. We leave at 820. I do stick a wash in every morning.

I hang through washing out the night before 😜. But that's a whole other thread!

I now wake up at 6. Or earlier (peri!). So I can have a tea in peace then get up and have time before other humans wake up. 3 kids to 3 different schools, middle on autistic so needs more organising/prompting.

Clothes for kids laid out night before and lunches prepped night before.

I hate rushing in the morning.

To me, 7:45 is too late for an 8:20 departure. Personally I'd get up a full hour earlier then there's loads of time to do whatever you want before moving into the proper 'getting ready' phase.

That’s not much time at all to get ready in the morning. I am a morning person now (thanks peri menopause) so my alarm is set for 5.30am, but i’m rarely still asleep when it goes off. Today I was up at 4.45 and it had just come light. Helps in the summer.

I’d personally get yourself up a bit earlier, maybe 7.30. I like to have my breakfast in peace, couple of cups of tea and catch up with the breakfast news. I take the dog out, then have to straighten my hair, put a bit of make up on for the office, get my lunch ready. No way I could do all of that in your time frame. Even if you’re just getting up, dressed, teeth etc that’s quite tight time wise, let alone having to hurry two kids along too.

It so personal! No right or wrong way to do it! I am a morning person, I get up at 5.30 so I can empty dishwasher & sort a load of washing to dry but I’d rather do it in morning than come home to it.

My dp is also out at work early but would rather do these things in evening so does that. We’re lucky it balances nicely for us and means we share the load fairly evenly.

what I will say is getting dc out still always feels like a rush I think you just fill the time you have!!

do whatever suits, if it doesn’t suit try something different!

We get up at 7.15 but wouldn't do laundry. Well, might put it on but not hang it out on the airers; evenings are easier for hanging out. We do spelling test practice after breakfast. I don't know how you're getting everyone toileted, showered, tooth brushed, dressed, make-up, fed, watered/ caffeinated, bags packed for the day... in 35 minutes! When I have occasional days I need to leave at 6.30 I'll usually have 30 minutes to get ready; that's just toilet, shower, dressed, teeth, hair, make-up. I have to be pre-packed the night before, DH and DS only get a kiss as I have no time, and DH makes me my breakfast and coffee for the walk (toast) and train (coffee).

Very easy answer here OP:

1. get up earlier. Leaving yourself half an hour to get things done when it involves other people is a hiding to nothing. Try 7am.
2. make a list of what you want to get done in the morning - and make sure it’s realistic.

Once you have 2) sorted you can reverse engineer it to work out 1). Personally I prefer a soft landing into the day rather than getting up and rushing around, but you could get up a bit later if you prefer a bit more time in bed.

My alarm goes off at 6am and I then spend about half an hour getting going (cup of tea, lying about a bit). DD surfaces around 6:30 (we’re both early birds!) and then stuff starts getting done - breakfast, bags packed. My two chores I’ll always do in the morning are emptying the dishwasher and folding up the laundry (might put it away too if time allows otherwise that’s an evening task).

DD leaves for school 7:45 and I start work at 8 from home.

I think with depression in the mix creating a set routine can be really helpful - then if you’re having a bad day you just follow your list and your timings and you still get where you need to be/things done regardless of how awful you feel.

It goes on an airer.

I aim to do one small load a day. Keeps me on top of the laundry - and the ironing! It might be more economic to do fewer larger loads, but that doesn't work for me.

Off topic a bit - but doesn’t your washing smell if you leave it in the washing machine over night?

I leave a similar time to you. I set my alarm for 6.45am and up by 7am. Coffee, shower, breakfast and out. I don’t have time for chores and breakfast is just cereal. I might just be able to get a load of laundry finished on a quick wash before leaving but I have to be super organised for that - ie it is all in machine and I remember as soon as I go down.