Years of not so great sex - I’m considering my options…

[Imtempted]

I feel awful typing this out but here goes….

childhood sweethearts since 18, have x2 kids together 12 & 15, the last 4 years have been a tricky place for us…since covid things were on/off for a few years, saw a marriage counsellor, separated a few times but kept finding our way back together, (probably for the kids in hindsight and also familiarity)

fast forward the last year and we genuinely have been getting on better, more civil, less harsh words with each other - however…our sex life is pretty dire, I just don’t feel wanted by him, foreplay just doesn’t get me excited and when we do have it it’s over within 2 minutes. I’m just left feeling frustrated.

Ive got to the point where I don’t know what to do, I love him but the passion/excitement/feeling desired I just don’t have. I feel like an 80 year old not a 40 year old.

We’ve spoken about it and he knows it’s an issue but we’ve been having the same conversation for 3 years. It’s not always awful, and we used to have a great sex life, but I just want to feel like a woman who’s desired and wanted by her husband.

help 😞😞 any advice from anyone? I feel I’ve exhausted all avenues

I think you have to decide if this is a deal breaker for you. You deserve to feel wanted.

Do you still fancy him?

@Nobivucy most days yes, there are however days where he acts like a total knob and he frustrates the hell out of me - but I accept that everyone’s human and occasionally we aren’t going to see eye to eye.

I want him to be more confident which would make me find him more attractive but he can be pretty lazy in his personality ie asking me for stuff right in front of him 🤦🏻‍♀️

Do you still fancy each other? Is it worth breaking the family up over? If so, time it carefully for your kids considering GCSEs

I think some people just get complacent, and it’s easy to become roommates rather than husband and wife. Have you told him exactly what you want in the bedroom. Some men need it spelling out!

@londongirl12 yep sadly I have, he just gets defensive when I ask him/tell him I want more passion. He acknowledges I need more than 2 minutes of sex and he blames lack of sex but we’ve then go a few weeks without it and repeat situation again.