To ask about the end of innocence for you?

[SundayGirl1]

When did you realise the world’s not all rainbows and unicorns? Watching DD play and feeling sad that one day something will happen to corrupt her little mind. For me it was hearing about poor Jamie Bulger on the news when I was about 10. Although I didn’t know the full details, I remember understanding enough to know there’s evil in the world that I hadn’t understood until that moment. Was there one pivotal moment that stands out for you or was it a more gradual thing?

Worst part of this was that they weren't strangers to the girls. They abused the girls trust 😞

@Tryintobe @ReadingSoManyThreads me too, I think as an adult living in England I'm still unpicking the reality of growing up in a warzone in which my father was murdered in a random tit-for-tat sectarian shooting.

And YY to the hostility towards our accents, still ongoing.

But yes, lost key people in my life like Dad and maternal granny much too early, both before age 10. That was bad enough but there was definitely no pastoral care in school back then. If anything some nasty teachers singled me out as I became very withdrawn and introverted. And a blind eye was turned to my bullying. I learned very early not to trust anyone and struggle with "authority figures".

Like other posters, flashers/perverts when too young as well. Random dirty old men you knew to avoid.

When I was little in the 70s all the women on our cul de sac talking about the Yorkshire ripper. All the mums wouldn't go out after dark.

My uncle was even interviewed because he lived in Sheffield at the time because he had black curly hair.

I was about 16 and my wee sister was the age of the children who were murdered. It was just awful. Her primary school was being moved and built just along the road at the time and it was so strange seeing it go up with the new shutters and secure entries.

I'd never known anything to impact an entire population the way that did which I guess speaks to our general privilege. Someone said a couple of years ago that even now people who remember it, even those not involved, have a very limited tolerance for talking about it and I've really noticed that. It still devastates people. I will never understand how equivalent events elsewhere don't elicit the same reaction. Children being murdered in cold blood should always devastate.

@knackeredcat I'm so sorry you lost your dad that way, must have been so hard to for your family and being treated like one of the statistics rather than a grieving child, I think society forgot real people were left behind devastated no matter their belief. Definitely no pastoral care of any description then, even now generational trauma is still very apparent. It's a much better place now but will be a long time before the hurt fades.

This thread is a very, very sad read. Like many of the women here, I was the victim of a serious sexual assault at the age of 16. My rapist wasn't a family member or know to me - it was a very typical "bogeyman" event, down a dark alleyway with the perpetrator being a stranger. It turned my whole world upside down, and almost 25 years later I'm still dealing with the aftermath, albeit much better these days! I attempted suicide many times during my late teens to mid-20s. Thank goodness I never succeeded, because what I have learnt is that there is just as much good in this world as there is evil. I'm so happy I've stuck around long enough to learn that.

Ah I'm so sorry to hear this. I had a similar experience at 16. Living in a squat in Holland (my parents were pretty useless) and was drugged and raped by a randomer (I was a virgin and probably too trusting/ naive so I accepted his offer of a drink).

Weirdly it was worse when I slept with my long term friend/crush the following year and he woke me up to tell me to 'fuck off out of my room' (he was about 10 years older and knew my history). He has recently apologised profusely but it made me not trust men for a long time

Also attempted suicide several times but at that point my innocence was thoroughly lost!

Oh bless you - some of this is very similar to my own experience, especially being a virgin, and being too trusting/naive. My attacker asked me to go with him down the alleyway and I stupidly did. I beat myself senseless with blame for many, many years afterwards. Did you find the same? Your stupid brain telling you, "It's your own fault"?
I'm sorry to hear that later on a "friend" treated you like that, especially as he knew your past.
I actually came out a few years after the attack, and for the longest time I thought that the attack had made me gay. I came to realise that that's not (usually) the way sexuality works, but it was definitely something that haunted me for a good while.

12 when vans and lorries started beeping me, and men looked at me differently. I’d grown up loving men being fatherly and caring towards me and the world felt protective. I felt very unnerved when it first started happening so young
Still makes me sick how young it starts. At what point do these sick fucks think one day that’s a child and the next she’s fuckable. The way so many men are makes me hate the world

This reminds me of the time Chris Moyles (ex-Radio One Breakfast host) literally counted down the days leading up to Charlotte Church turning 16. If I remember correctly he actually said - ON AIR - that he would "take her virginity" on the day she turned 16. I remember listening to it at the time. Poor girl.

Sending love and hugs to everyone.

@Skulling @Dontlletmedownbruce In 1968, Blue Peter held an appeal for starving children in Biafra. Seeing those photographs of tiny starving children stayed with me forever. I can clearly remember thinking that I was so lucky to have been born in England, and how random that was and how the children in Biafra hadn’t asked to be born there - if you know what I mean.
Like many people on here, I had a shitty childhood but the empathy I felt for those poor children was unlike anything I had felt before.
To everyone who’s had awful trauma in their childhood, I hope you’ve had the help and support you need to leave it behind you, or at least to not let it affect your life all the time.

Gross 🤢 And people want the “good old days” back.

Gosh I wish I hadn't opened this thread, I don't know what I expected but these are all so so sad

The Moors murders - Lesley Ann Downie, one of the victims whose terrible death was much reported in the newspapers, was the same age as me. I was terrified at the time.

A man my mum grew up with clearly wanted to have sex with me. I was 10 and managed to avoid being alone with him even though it caused a bit of a scene with me being difficult. I was painfully shy but I wasn't going to go with him. Things never looked the same after that.

A little girl in my cousin's class at school was murdered, we were about 6 at the time. I remember my auntie talking about it and she was so shocked. I didn't know people deliberately killed other people.