Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to distance myself from this school mom

5 replies

AlertEagle · 01/06/2025 18:08

This’s been on my mind for quite some time now I don’t think I can be brief so it might be a long thread.

I got a bit close to a school mom, nothing too serious just occasional chat in the park, discussing our children and a few playdates. I liked to keep it simple with her because I noticed her badmouthing people but recently she crossed the line.

We were sat at the school lunch hall waiting for the childrens performance when a mom arrived late and she said “ look at her shes always late her kids are always late shes in her own world” to which I said “maybe shes going through things you never know” to which she said “ yeah all the time hahaha”.

Next she commented on a parent for “ looking like he owns the place”. I started to feel really uneasy around her and thought I will distance myself from her.

Theres been a few incidents with her and my child. Her child can be rude and bossy most of the time. I did try to resolve this with her but she would just brush it under the carpet. A parent approached her at the school playgroung asking her to tell her child to stop bullying his. Of course she became defensive like her precious child wouldnt hurt a fly.

I also caught her being too faced. She told me how another child has been bossing her child around so shes decided to stop the friendships and the next day she was giving that exact same child a friendship bracelet from her child. I wanted to roll my eyes 😂

It’s very hard to ignore her but how do I distance myself from her. So far I’ve tried arriving right before school drop off and pick up and it works 99% however I do see her at kids parties and she always comes to me and starts with the negative talk about other parents. So how do I distance myself from her once and for all when I see her at parties. Also I say Im busy during weekends so dont have to meet her.

OP posts:
ButteredRadish · 01/06/2025 19:21

Normally I don’t advocate hiding behind a screen but given you’ve got to see her at school etc, so don’t want to risk a scene (plus she sounds like she could be obnoxious) I’d send her a message and be honest. Just say “look, I don’t think our values align enough to associate on a social level so please don’t be offended if I talk to other mums at school etc but no hard feelings!” Something like that. Maybe not quite as blunt as that.
Ghosting def won’t work when you need to cross paths twice a day

AlertEagle · 01/06/2025 20:07

ButteredRadish · 01/06/2025 19:21

Normally I don’t advocate hiding behind a screen but given you’ve got to see her at school etc, so don’t want to risk a scene (plus she sounds like she could be obnoxious) I’d send her a message and be honest. Just say “look, I don’t think our values align enough to associate on a social level so please don’t be offended if I talk to other mums at school etc but no hard feelings!” Something like that. Maybe not quite as blunt as that.
Ghosting def won’t work when you need to cross paths twice a day

I don’t mind saying hi just not the long conversations. I purposefully tried to hide from her during one school event and she found me. I think I will have to tell her to stop but I know she would start drama.

OP posts:
JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 01/06/2025 21:35

Please don’t send a text! Just keep away from her and if she’s at a kids party keep moving so she can’t latch onto you. Always be busy if she wants a play date and just phase her out. A text will only create a whole lot of drama you won’t want.

GroovyChick87 · 01/06/2025 21:40

Just be polite but a bit frosty with her. Don't approach her, only talk to her if she talks to you and don't get into long conversations. Don't meet up with her if she asks. Most people would get the picture. I wouldn't confront her or say anything at this stage, that's likely to cause drama and you still have to see her regularly so not worth it.

Masmavi · 01/06/2025 21:45

Look her straight in the face and say very reasonably: ‘I don’t like to gossip.’ Nothing more, don’t explain yourself, don’t engage if she tries to extend the conversation or fall over herself saying why it’s not gossip (expect this). That’s it, you’ve drawn your boundary, she can choose how to react. Not your concern. Don’t waste your energy on people like her.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page