How do you cope with perimenopause loneliness

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I'm 50 and divorced, no kids. One sibling who im very close to but no parents left.
Sibling doesn't have children either.
I have loads of friends, am socially active in lots of groups, do exercise classes, keep myself busy etc
I sometimes just get the darkest wave of loneliness ever. I can sometimes enjoy living alone but generally it feels very solitary.
I know no one can really help me, as I'm doing everything necessary, but I was hoping for a bit of solidarity. Anyone feel similar?

Yes. I was widowed last year, different but the result is the same. Like you, I have friends, activities etc, and was used to enjoying my own company as he worked away a lot but sometimes it’s just grim.

I think it’s because it’s not our choice, and sometimes it feels like we’re just not in the ‘club’ (even though we probably wouldn’t want to be). I don’t have the answer but I have solidarity.

Thank you @Sminty2
Sometimes the thought of the future is so overwhelming

Life can be lonely even with young kids… your surrounded but alone

I’m married to an autistic man and have two autistic children. I am also perimenopausal. As a result of the rest of my family’s discomfort with any form of socialising and as a result of almost all of my wider family having died (mostly far too young) I am about as lonely as a human can be. I feel as though I’m pathetically grateful when colleagues talk to me and then I massively over share and then I hate myself for being so pathetic. Fortunately I have my dog who is like my shadow but her conversation is quite limited!

I don't think people realise how this can be ..I have a friend with 3 autistic children and she feels similar I think.

I feel the same. I have children but they are teenagers now and have their own lives and friends which is fantastic but I've gone from one extreme to the other. Having spent years bringing them up and always on the go, I now have more free time and not quite sure what to do with it.

I mostly read, go for walks and study various online courses. I've started cooking more and being experimental with my food, just taking my time with it and enjoying something new.

My work colleagues are wonderful and I meet up with friends or family once a week. I could stay out with them for hours as I know that when I come home, I'll feel lonely. I've never felt like this before. I used to crave some alone time.

For me it's not perimenopausal, it's because I'm completely alone and have been for twenty years.

I currently can't work and have no friends where I live. I went through desperate times and really craved company, so much so that I tolerated too much.

When I did work I was too talkative as I was desperate for conversation and company. I have learned to live with it now.

Op its hard. Everyone soo busy now. I find nobody wants meet up or commit. Today I took dog out and got lunch on my own. My daughter at match with her dad. I did join hobbies but everyone has their own routines. Lonely is hard at times

Yes, it's hard. Best thing I have done by far is to keep busy. It's the lack of touch I struggle with. I hope when my sex drive finally dies off it will get easier!

For me it's the lack of a default person just being in the house.
A flatmate or something even, but I'm at the age and stage where I don't want to risk a lodger

I totally get this with the lack of commitment

Thanks I said this to my friend. She said people more flaky now. I thought am I giving off a vibe. No they just flaky!

I agree. I went for coffee with family over the weekend but we weren't out for long and I hadn't talked about any of the things I'd planned to. I feel everyone's in such a rush whereas I could've stayed way longer because the atmosphere was so lovely. It seemed a shame to just get up and leave after an hour. I was tempted to stay and have a cup of tea for the road! Perhaps I should have.

I stopped going out about nine years ago due to peri. I have two children at home, one who has a disability, and a partner, but I feel incredibly lonely. My anxiety has never been controlled via medication. I would love to feel joy again.