"and who are you?"

[Bringyourfoldingchair]

I was out with DH, SIL and BH yesterday. We were at a bar and I was up having a dance. Came back to the table and a random woman was sitting with my group. I sat down at the table and she said "and who are you?" rudely. I responded that "that's my husband". I was annoyed.

She left the table a while later and I moved to where she was sitting as it was directly facing my husband. But then she returned and stood over me like she was waiting on me moving. I felt uncomfortable and mentioned it to my husband. It persisted so I got annoyed and went into the loos.

I stayed in there for ages just chatting to people and when I came back out the random woman was still there and BIL had bought her a drink in with our rounds. I was annoyed as nobody else seemed bothered by how rude she was to me so we left and went to a different bar. DH, SIL and BIL think I'm unreasonable for being annoyed. SIL "thought she was a lovely girl".

AIBU?

That’s kind of what happens in bars with dancing, and clubs, though. You end up talking to strangers, just as you did in the loo.

Very weird behaviour from her, but I wouldn’t give it much more thought.

A random joining an established group and expecting to sit at their table?

No it doesn’t.

Did she know your husband or the rest of the group?

I can’t stand rudeness so I would have probably told her to fuck off.

I'm new to this so not sure how to reply to people directly. But no, she didn't know any of us. And I get that sometimes you get chatting to randoms in bars, but it was just how she was acting like I was shouldn't have been at the table with DH and his family, and standing over me expecting me to move from where she sat previously that rubbed me up the wrong way. Also that my group seemed to think I was wrong for being annoyed by it?!

When she said ‘and you are’, I’d have just said ‘part of this group, same question to you’. I’ve got no time for arsey people.

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. This woman was being rude and rather strange.
””and who are you?” indeed.
If anything, I think you were unreasonable not to respond with who the fuck she thinks she is and to sling her hook.

More to the point, your DH, SIL and BH seemed not to care that she was being rude to you. Your DH didn't respond to your saying you weren't happy about her standing over you, and then she even got included in a round.
I would actually be wondering if there was something more to this encounter, but then I have a nasty suspicious mind.

Had she been drinking?

Yes but didn't seem overly drunk. Now that I've had time to think, she was just a silly random, but I am more annoyed that my group seemed to think her rudeness to me was acceptable. They honestly seemed to be annoyed at me for being pissed off about it!