Not to buy a birthday present for someone I hardly know?

[Morgan]

I am invited to a birthday celebration tomorrow night for a 40th birthday for what is really an acquaintance of mine and i was invited through another friend. I hardly know her really but I said I would go as i like the restaurant and thought it would be a fun girls' night out. It is an all inclusive meal and drinks deal and costs about 60 pounds(I am in Dubai) plus taxi fares. AIBU to just turn up with a card or should i get a present too??

I would take a small token maybe small box of nice chocolates?

especially as its 40th - in fact if you hardly know her - I wouldn't bother with a card waste of money form someone you hardly know and write on a gift tag with a small gift instead

A book? I'd get a card. Are you very poor?

Has looked around at jewellery and evening bags but couldn't find anything nice for less than about 20 pounds which seemed a bit much. I could get a mani/pedi voucher which would be about 18 pounds.

I think if you feel like that you shouldn't go really. I know I wouldn't have wanted an acquaintance at my 40th.

If you do go then yes you should take a small gift.

couldn't you just get a box of belgian chocolates for a fiver or so?

No not poor! more a matter of etiquette what will be expected? If i was going to a party at someone's house I would take something but do i to a restaurant where i am paying for my own meal and drinks anyway??

I wouldn't get anything. You are going as a friend's guest really so it's up to your friend to get present from herself.

Not like you are going to her house or that there are only a handful of you.. I don't think I'd pay £60 to go to a party of an acquaintance.

..but maybe that's why I haven't got many friends lol

nice bottle of wine thats on offer.

when i am in this situation i buy a bottle which the offer is about to run out on.

so i buy it on the tuesday for £5 and whoever it goes to sees it in the shop on the wednesday and thinks wow kerry spent £10 on that wine for me

I personally wouldn't go to a birthday celebration without taking a gift. Given that you are paying for yourself, it doesn't need to be much, more of a gesture.

will you get a bottle of wine in Dubai?!

Buda - she has already had another do - staying at the Burj Al Arab with friends the other night so this is a wider affair! I did have lunch with her last week with our mutual friend.

Re the chocs she is a larger lady (like myself ) and may not appreciate them.

you want to go to somones birthday party - without a pressie?

i can't belive your asking tbh!

Kewcucumber - yes can get wine here as long as you have an alcohol licence

Concensus seems to be a should take a small present so i will do that. It seems a bit daft to me to take a bottle to a restaurant where the deal includes as much champagne and wine as you can drink between 8 and 12! ( as well as food) well this is Dubai - city of excess

Custardo - well i was invited - didn't invite myself. So you think i should take a present?

Um, I don't mean to be rude, but why have you been invited if you're not friends?

I wouldn't take wine to a restaurant. I too am a larger lady but would appreciate chocs. What about a nice orchid?

You don't have to spend a lot - some nice bubble bath or shower gel?

I would take something, and I would look for something that she wouldn't buy herself (i.e. something you wouldn't buy for yourself), a perfume (inexpensive splash-about one like Anais Anais), or some really pretty lacy hankies (if you can get them), or maybe those smelly things you hang in your wardrobe.

I think it would show yourself up to take nothing.

Magicmuffin - bit of rent a crowd going on I think - invite everyone you know - appear popular. As i said i like the restaurant and thought it would be a fun night out so said yes.

Thanks for the suggestions Clumsymum.

I think you should take a small but pretty something. I've bought things for no more than a fiver - pretty fabric bookmark, flowers, lip balm. You're paying for your own meal but the social gathering is being arranged for you.

Turniphead - oh yes thanks for reminding me although 30% tax on alcohol so another reason not to take that.

As i reached my same landmark birthday last year i sort of agree that a present should be taken on that occasion. I organised a small party with some real friends the other week for my dh and most people brouhgt a small present and a couple of people checked if it was a landmark birthday - but luckily for him htat is not until next year

Going against the consensus, I don't think you need to. I turned 30 relatively recently and had a party at home and barely anyone bought presents and I didn't expect them to. I think spending £60 on a night out to celebrate is enough.

If it's just a rent-a-crowd thing then a card and little box of chocs would be fine I reckon.

I know Dubai must be hard to find token pressies but even a nice plant is better than nothing. I find it physically impossible to turn up anywhere empty handed. Even home-made cake goes down well.