To not know how to reply to DM’s long winded texts

[BC67]

DM has form for breaking bad news over text and writing long winded messages.
Last week on a group chat she let me and my siblings know she had been diagnosed with arthritis and went into a lot of detail about how the diagnosis came about. When I replied saying I hope there is some treatment available to help, she mentioned it’s not causing her any trouble so she hasn’t been taking anything.
And then today she sent a message about DF needing an operation in 3 months time to treat a long standing medical condition. She went into such detail as to what was discussed with the surgeon, what time he needs to be there, and which friends have had this procedure before. We live in another city so it’s not like we need to know these specifics. I feel like this kind of news could have been brought up on our next phone call.
I haven’t replied to DM’s text as I just don’t know what to say.
I am newly postpartum and have been feeling very run down lately looking after three small children. When I receive messages like this it feels like another chore to reply to.

You need a standard reply up your sleeve. “That sounds a bit worrying but I’m glad you are being seen. GC are all well and full of nonsense here’s a pic of them doing whatever, speak soon xxx.”
She obviously finds it easier to message, and you find it easier to chat. You love each other so it’s fine.

Maybe she doesn’t want to bother you with a phone call while you’re postpartum but just wants to give you all the details via text, this wouldn’t bother me at all but if it’s stressing you or bothering you then I guess you could just tell her. I think sometimes the older generation don’t realise that text isn’t the same as email/letters.

I understand how this could be stressful especially postpartum because it may feel like you need to do something - but maybe just getting it down in text makes your mum feel a bit better herself.

I'm the opposite. My mum has had an ongoing autoimmune condition for 20 years
She sends me "Are you free for a quick call?" and then I get a detailed history of the week's medical appointments, symptoms, etc because it's apparently too long to text. The issue is that it's always when I have just got in from work and the school run or I'm halfway round Lidl. I would far rather be able to reply to a text message when I'm free and then phone her when DS is in bed.

My mum sends messages like these, huge long things, it's very draining tbh and she constantly moans about how much there is to do and how busy she is.

I find it hard to be sympathetic tbh. They are both retired, have a nicely sized house and garden, not too big so there shouldn't be too much cleaning etc but its like she's completely forgotten what it's like to have young kids, plus she didn't work when my sibling and I were young, which I'd hate tbh. No other commitments other than meeting friends for lunch or walks.

I've offered to organize practical help, like arranging a supermarket delivery but she says she enjoys the daily supermarket trips.

She's also become quite self involved. I'm going through a separation, only 6 weeks ago, 2 young kids and getting no support. I'm not expecting childcare or practical stuff, but they didn't contact me for 11 days, not even a ' how are you doing?' on the day that would have been my wedding anniversary.

So a couple of things. My mum frequently does things like this so she’s not telling one child before the other and causing issues if I speak to my sister and she already knows something relatively big. She also used to tell me things twice and it took me a while to realise that she hadn’t told my sister at all unintentionally but she’d just forgotten who she’d told.

so maybe just texting you all at the same time is easier. And maybe she’s using it as a bit of a debrief. I’d guess she has more time on her hands than you so typing it all out isn’t an issue and allows her so thought processing.

thirdly you say ‘We live in another city so it’s not like we need to know these specifics.’ but this is your mum and dad. Surely you want to know the specifics?

it wouldn’t annoy me at all but maybe you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed?

Just use ChatGPT. Copy the message from your DM and whatever the AI replies, forward it directly to your mum. You don't even need to read it.
Hopefully, we will get an app that does this automatically in the near future.

My hunch is that she doesn't want to bother you by calling you as she will know full well what the postpartum period is like? But she's trying to keep you in the loop in case you're feeling a bit isolated?
An honest response should do the job. Something like, sorry mum, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed/tired/exhausted right now so don't feel like texting but have read your messages and we can talk about it when I'm feeling more myself?