6 months pp, AIBU to ask is it normal

[quiteanewmama]

To not fully have your shit together yet?

I still find it tricky to get out the house before 10am. If I accomplish one household task like emptying the dishwasher or putting a wash load on, that would be a productive day for me. My baby refuses to cot nap and wants to feed to sleep and contact nap instead. Sometimes baby will sleep on a walk or in the car but not a guarantee. I spend most the day with at least one of my basic needs unmet. We had a good routine but now we’ve started weaning and it feels like there is much more to squeeze into the day and get right. I give everything I have to being the best mum I can be but this means that after doing bedtime I am overstimulated, hangry and usually in desperate need of a shower. Someone close (also a parent) said they thought I’d be finding it easier by now because they are, and it’s made me feel a bit crap, so is it normal? AIBU finding it tricky still?

Not unreasonable at all! What time does your baby wake in the morning? It will be easier to be out by 10am once they are a toddler and starting the day at 5am 😅 so for now, pottering, feeding, a wander to see the ducks, chucking a wash on (but don't worry about trying to put it away!) is fine.

It's so hard. I have an 8 month old and I have felt as you describe many times, especially around the 3-5 month stage. One thing I've learned as a new mum is that any and all comments about what you or the baby 'should be doing by now' can be ignored. We're all different.

You are doing fantastic. If I was dressed and baby was dressed by 10 am I considered it a really good day. As previous poster said when they are a toddler it will all change. Do you have anyone to hold the baby while you get a shower?? Or could you put the baby bouncer in the bathroom so they can still see you?? Sending the biggest of hugs x

I know it’s not for everyone but sleep training was life changing for me. Baby went from cosleeping/contact napping to sleeping happily in a cot in their own room. Freed up so much time in the day for me to cook and clean up after the chaos of weaning. It was also much much less traumatic (for everyone!) than I expected.

My baby sits in a bouncer with a couple of toys and watches me shower, then plays at my feet whilst I hair dry/make up/get dressed. It makes me feel so much better, and I’ve never once had to get out of the shower because he was upset.

If you’re doing BLW can you just eat together with the baby?

I started to prioritise contentment. If we had a moment of contentment then that was a win. Otherwise just getting through the day was our achievement. Babies vary drastically and no-one with an easy baby will understand how difficult the days can be.

I remember saying to someone it's like having the most difficult 24/7 job in the world whilst working alongside a colleague who is employed 24/7 to sabotage everything you are trying to achieve. So when you get a wash on / load the dishwasher / hoover up - give yourself a parenting high five. These are truly great accomplishments under the circumstances. You just need to totally adjust your expectations and ignore any person who has not walked in your shoes for 6 months.

It depends a lot on why you’re trying to do.

If you’re aiming for instgram
perfect baby activities all day every day then you won’t ever achieve it. Being a good parent is looking after yourself too.

Also, it’s ok for them to cry.

So if you have to clear the bathroom
floor Of all hazards and stick them
on it while you shower, do that.

Weaning isn’t a full time activity of carefully preparing specific recipes. It’s your food and then scrubbing down a high chair afterwards. Stimulation includes watching you hang washing out.

Be kind to yourself! I was way less organised that this!

Also ignore anyone who says "it gets easier at..." It gets easier when it gets easier. I remember waiting for 6 weeks, 4 months, 6 months...

I must say though, I think this is a very tough boot camp that sets you up for the long run. I found toddlers a breeze and everything was so very easy compared to the baby stage. Babies are brutal.

It’s so hard. I have a 4 month old and a 14 and a half month old. It’s just about getting into routine. I normally have the baby in her bouncy chair in front of me so I can talk to her and the 14 month is currently running off with my pegs 😂 my hair gets neglected I just shove it up as I can’t find the time to do anything else with it. You’ll get there it just takes time. Don’t beat yourself up for it