Who is DH expecting to put the clean dishes in the drawer?

[confusedlots]

i know this seems like a small thing but it has really annoyed me this morning! DH emptied the dishwasher last night, not something he does regularly might I add, but he must have needed to empty it so he could fill it up again after dinner (I was out with friends last night) and knew I’d be annoyed if I came home to dirty plates littering all the surfaces.

So he has put some of the clean dishes away but left some just sitting on the countertop on top of the dishwasher. Now these things all have clear homes where they belong. In fact I have spent time decluttering so that everything fits nicely in its home and you don’t have to rearrange cupboards to put things away. So this is not a difficult job!

Feeling a bit annoyed that he didn’t do the full job when I got home last night, I moved a couple of the clean dishes over to the island so they were clearly obvious that they needed put away. DH was up before me this morning and must have needed that space on the island to make his breakfast so moved the clean dishes back over to the worktop on top of the dishwasher.

Like seriously? Who does he thinks comes behind him and finishes off all the jobs he hasn’t bothered to complete, when it would take much less effort for him to put the things back in the drawer at the time when they were in his hand?

And of course he’s the one away out now doing his hobby, and I am looking after the kids, have a million jobs to do around the house and we’re hosting a family dinner tomorrow. Gggrrrrrr

Well you, he expects you to do it, because you’ve done it every time and he does what he likes. He must love his life.

He’s left them there to show you he’s done half a job and to impress you - let him know it’s not such a good look!

Step away from the dishes op. Never touch them. If dh mentions them just say oh I saw you started on them but assumed you would be going back to finish off.. Take a photo to keep track of how long he leaves them.
It absolutely would make me that petty.. Or you are admitting you are his staff imo.

I wouldn’t be doing all this passive aggressive moving them shite. I’d be saying to him directly - when are you going to put these away?

Don't put them away. Just keep moving them out of the space and see how long it takes. There is no dish fairy - I have said this to DH before. If you don't do it you are assuming I will as I'm 100% of the other adults in the house.

Yeah, my husband used to do this too with anything that didn’t have what he considered to be an obvious home (the bar for “obvious” was very low). I gave him a full guided tour of the kitchen and told him that I had no problem at all with him guessing where to put something if he wasn’t sure. What I did have a problem with with was half-arsed tidying. He does it properly now.

Leave them

If he mentions them later say 'i thought you'd left them out for a reason'

You, obviously.

Agree, stop with the passive aggressive. Ask him why he hasn't put them away. All his answers will be crap and hopefully he has enough self awareness to notice this and change his ways. If he hasn't you've got a job on your hands to re-educate him (or LTB)

Yes I know it was petty and passive aggressive, I was just keen to see what he did with them. It would have been easier to put the clean dishes in the drawer rather than moving them back to the top of dishwasher for a second time, these dishes have just been moved from one place to another and back again and they still haven’t been put away. Just think if that was done with everything in the house, laundry etc, it would be maximum effort for zero results!!

I have brought up similar issues before and he thinks he’s doing his fair share and can’t understand how frustrating and unfair it is that I have to come along behind him and finish off the jobs he’s made a half hearted attempt at, while he’s praising himself on such a good job of cleaning the kitchen! I’m sick of talking about it with him if I’m honest as nothing changes.

If you point them out he will accuse you of nagging.. If I remember rightly there was a thread years ago about a sock I think... A sock that wasn't moved for a long time as the op refused to acknowledge it had been left. One of her dh's I presume.. It was a humerous post with a stand to make. Op isn't the staff. So the dishes can be left...

He knows you'll pick up after him, that's why he does it.

Leave a note on the dishes to say “DH, if you want me to put away the dishes, you just need to say ‘Screw you, confusedlots, you do it’ “

Send him this link

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288/amp

He wants praise for doing tasks!
my husband takes the towels out the tumble drier, and folds them, but not so they fit in the cupboard. He puts them ON the cupboard not IN the cupboard.
same with emptying the dishwasher. He’ll empty it and leave some clean things on the side and often leave it empty not putting dirty stuff in the empty dishwasher.

instead of complaining at him, or congratulating him, I’ve started saying “oh I see Arthur’s done the dishwasher” … meaning ‘Alf-a job.
I give recognition, not praise!!!

Put the dishes in his half of the bed!

Came to say the same! 😂😂😂

Wrap them up and give them to him for Christmas or smash and grind them up and put it in his food.

'DH were you keeping these out for a reason? If not please can you put them away.'