Are you a noticer?

[Iwouldneverseetheminconcert]

Is that a word? I think it is

Are you observant in life or just in your own bubble?

I was sat by the pool in a hotel complex today, watching my Dc playing/swimming and noticed people coming to the pool, the sun-bed area really filling up. Families would come around, some were on the beds right in front ot me, talking away, some arguing, not even looking at me (not that they should!) just not noticing anyone around them, which is fine obviously.
I’m a noticer and very observant of my surroundings and probably a bit too self conscious, I’m envious of these people who appear to be in their own world.
Looking around, I could easily see the ones who were like me and the ones who weren’t

Does that make sense 😅

Not to be harsh but I think most observant people are like this tbh. Like I said my whole family and some of my friends register every minute detail but you wouldn't know they've been looking.

I think those who peer and gaze overtly are probably more like me, having to make a conscious effort to internalise details. Like another PP said I have verbatim recall of what people said and did though (to the point it was remarked upon in my court based profession); it really irritates me when my family changes little details in what they said just to support their claim. You wouldn't know or think I was listening intently because I don't have to put in that effort

I’m a terrible noticer of what’s going on around me. Poor facial recognition and generally mono focused on what I need to be doing and the DC are doing. Great at remembering where I am in a place, so good sense of direction. Awful memory for events that have happened and awful word finding which get me into trouble. Spellings I am great at though.

My DC notice everything around them including fast moving written information like car number plates. They will comment on unusual combinations of letters and numbers etc. But can’t spell for toffee.

I wonder if any of these different styles of detail or pattern recognition are considered forms of neurodivergence

I’d say I am. But I tend to focus in on minor things people do habitually that then begin to really irritate me and it becomes all I can focus on. I do not enjoy it.

I presume most people are like this, i can't say I remember anyone being that obvious about it apart from rubber necking at car accidents

I’m always amazed at the inability of some people to be ‘noticers’ when they are driving. How can you not be aware you’re hogging the middle lane? How can you not notice you’re being an embarrassing t*^t when driving up someone’s backside?

Yes I am. But it comes I think from having to be hypervigilant around my mum to ensure I knew what mood she was in and being praised for good and polite behaviour rather than for being me.

I do though love people watching, especially at a hotel breakfast buffet.

I do know what you mean about envying people who don't notice, so people who aren't scanning to make sure they don't get in everyone's way or don't mind standing in front of a map of a town for a couple of seconds, I would be immediately concious of being a nuisance, getting in someones way, they have the self worth I have had to build.

I don't know though if I have ever noticed who is like me.

I am a bubble person with the ability to be observant that I rarely exercise, because I don’t have time to worry about what others are doing. I am focused on my own life, and those closest to me. Everyone else is in outer rings and unimportant to me in terms of minutae. I would obviously assist anyone in an emergency but for day to day unless it’s supremely interesting it will never have my attention.

Interesting that you equate noticing with worrying, they are two totally different things

I'm a noticer (new word to me and I like it) but don't care at all about the things I notice, why would I? Just because I'm aware of something doesn't make it my issue, how do you stop yourself being observant, I can't think how I would do that. It's just the way I am

Strangely though I have a total inability to see eye colours, I barely know what colour eyes my children have and certainly couldn't tell you about anyone else's

Agree, and the "don't have time to notice as I am busy" it doesn't work like that, I am not tuned in to everything around me as I've loads of time to spare. I just am, now if I am on holiday and people watching that's different of course.

A woman at my tennis club always notices if your mascara is smudged or if you have a spec of food, or if you limp, or if you seem to be searching for something, really fu. Annoying.

I don't think this is it tbh. I was always hypervigiliant about my mum's moods too. Her mood would change in the blink of an eye and have either great or horrible consequences. I'm still very much attuned to other's moods/people pleaser too but just not wired to instinctively register and internalise lots of simultaneous concrete tangible details (directions, appearance, movement, etc) in the way some others are.

I'm a noticer...I've always thought it's because I'm introverted and so like watch the room.

@TorroFerney's post really resonated with me and I wonder now if it came from being hyperviligant around my mum as a child.

I also have a great memory and attention to detail, so I think noticing is my superpower. It drives my family and colleagues mad when I point things out they haven't seen or in the case of my teen don't want me to see!

My favourite hobby is people watching. I find it intriguing. Sometimes if I'm with a friend or DP we will make up a story on what we think is happening.

Even when socialising, I'm usually the quiet one observing dynamics, behaviours....until wine no4.....

I'm a bit of a noticer, not so much faces, but conversations from years ago, nature, if a woman has a nice outfit on (not perving just looking for ideas for myself) that sort of thing.

Actually the woman in front of me in New Look yesterday had the most amazing up do plaited hair style.

I did notice someone slashing someone else's tyres at a previous place of work though. I wrote their numberplate down and a brief description. I gave a statement, but wasn't required in court.

I think I am - but I can't retain any of it really. I enjoy/am interested in the moment, but not sure I'd be reliably able to recall much if needed.

That is me exactly! I once had to get a taxi to drive me around the streets surrounding a theatre, because I'd completely forgotten where I'd parked!

But if there's a change in atmosphere in a room, or if one of my friends isn't quite 'right' but trying to pretend they're ok, I pick up on that instantly.

Not really, I do people watch but half the time I zone out into a little world of my own. I'd never do that anywhere important like a work meeting of course 😁

Yes, I'm always very well aware of my surroundings and notice lots of things. OH is the same. But we are different in what we notice.

He can remember faces and people and can often recognise someone from a fleeting glance several days ago, i.e. such as when we're on holiday by a hotel pool, he'll point someone out and say that they were in the check in queue at the airport, or they were at "X" attraction a few days ago etc. (Not just pretty girls either, so it's not that he's a pervert!)

I'm more aware of "things" and spatial awareness. I'm the one who looks for the quiet corner of the pool area, or a quiet area of the beach, or the restaurant etc., and hate sitting next to someone else when there's alternative places to go, or even waiting away from others at train stations or bus stops. I absolutely hate other people invading "my space" so I'm hyper-aware of not doing it to others. With "things", I can remember things like where cars are parked (not ours, but others), and I also have a good memory for things like car registration numbers, aircraft numbers, bus route numbers, etc. I noticed a suspicious strange old pick up truck on my walk home from work yesterday - I can still remember it's registration number now and where it was parked.

The difference is that OH would remember the driver's face and what he was wearing, I'd not have a clue, but I'd remember the reg number, model and colour, which he'd not have a clue.

Neither of us are ever in our own bubble, we're constantly noticing things, looking around us, etc., but for different reasons and what we remember are very different.

I’m a proofreader so have a good eye for spotting mistakes etc in books and poster designs or whatever. But there’s a running joke with me and DP that he can put, for example, a new vase on the shelf and I might not notice it for several years.

I will notice something in the moment if I need to attend to it so in the pool scenario I would be very aware of my dc and other children around them. I wouldn't though be able to recall much about it the next day. I will remember things which are important to my family though such as when someone has an exam or when a road will be closed. I am generally very hipervigilent when driving. I would be useless as a witness.

Dh would be fairly oblivious to the pool situation unless specifically tasked with watching a child but will be ruminating for days over a conversation and questioning the meaning and motivation behind a fairly neutral remark. He won't remember when anyone has an exam or is going out with friends, however often he is told. Dd will remember everything about a situation and a person for years and would be able to recall what someone was wearing and the whole conversation.

I quite like the way my brain filters life, I think it must be exhausting to be a noticer.

I'm both. Sometimes I play a game of being hyper-observant and trying to notice every single detail about someone or some place. I did it on the tube last night with a woman standing in front of me, and I could tell you right now exactly what she was wearing, down to her accessories and the make of her shoes.

But other times I am in a bubble. A friend of mine is a real star-spotter. Whenever I am out with her she nudges me to point out famous actors or politicians nearby, and she is always right. I never notice any of them.

I used to work in some high-risk countries and situations so I became used to always being aware of my surroundings and particularly things like exit points and non-obvious exit points. I still carry that with me.

DH notices nothing at all. I suspect he even has a mild form of face blindness because he is utterly hopeless at recalling people- DS1 is the same.

I’m very observant in terms of people’s behaviour that is directly related to me, I’ve got crazy intuition (neurodiverse) but apart from that I’m in my own little bubble! Especially at work, I really pick up on things that other people don’t notice - especially where “wonderful” colleagues are concerned but they’re actually full of bull and regularly lie. It’s a blessing & a curse all in one 😂

my DH is a different type of observer, he remembers faces and details of cars etc where they live and gets annoyed when I don’t know what he’s talking about! A child in a tv programme I watched years ago was then in another show years later and he knew who it was and he didn’t even watch the shows! I had no recollection!

he once said one of my colleagues and said to me “she’s pregnant”. And a couple of months later she announced she was, which was weird as she was obviously in first few weeks!

Absolutely not a noticer in the way you describe. I took in a parcel for the neighbour recently - i didn't notice that it was for next-door but one, not next-door, so when he knocked on the door to collect it I was expecting the next-door neighbour and did not recognise the person at all. After he had gone, I asked DH (who saw him and is very much a noticer), if the next-door but one neighbours were new and he said, no, they've been here longer than us (five years). I couldn't believe it, I wouldn't have known him from Adam! That's just one example, I am very much in my own bubble most of the time.

I’m the same although not sure about noticing weird behaviour. I barely recognise anyone which can be really embarrassing at times. I’d be terrible in describing someone accurately if a crime was committed near me.