to leave a day earlier than planned?

[feuergeist]

I am currently abroad on a visit to family with both my teen DS and DD. DH stayed at home as he had to work. We had to travel at this time as it's a big birthday for both my mother and some other family members this week.

We are staying with my mother and her partner for a week - to avoid drip feeding, their relationship has always been somewhat tempestuous at times, he likes to nit pick, holds on to every minor perceived infraction against him and is very particular and judgemental as to how people should act and be. Moving in with him when I was in my teens was hard, but my sisters and I tried to make the most of it.

Long story short, he has been very discontent recently (I wasn't aware of this) and while I have been here, things have been rough between him and my mother, so much so that this is spilling over onto everyone else. He is argumentative and standoffish and it has now affected everyone, and quite frankly I am sick to my stomach about having to stay here until Sunday.

We have our last family event tomorrow morning and I am now genuinely considering, to book a hotel in the city we are flying back from on Sunday for Saturday night and leaving their home a day early. My mother would be incredibly upset, which is the only reason I haven't made a decision yet, but it's been so bad that I am physically unwell and am having trouble sleeping.

So, AIBU leaving a day early, even though I know it would be worse for my mother? Any feedback or perspective much appreciated.

Good plan OP.
Never put your children or yourself through that again.
Your mother made her awful choices.
Let her live with them.
Never expose your children to that atmosphere again.

You won’t be back to her mother whilst she’s with him Op? She’s been with him 23 years. She is presumably going to need some support to leave him.

wtf? I would be back there regularly (obviously not bringing my children) to support her. This is precisely the time when she’s going to need you.

I read the OP as saying she won't be staying with her mother and SF while she is still with him. Not that she won't ever visit again- and remember- the OP lives abroad and visits once a year which means I expect it is quite some distance. Not a case of being able to pop over for the weekend. The OP has sisters as well who feel the same and they may be closer geographically and be able to provide hands on support if needed.