AIBU, yes, yes i am. But hopefully someone will tell me i'm not crazy to feel like this LOL.
husband and i have been married 6months (no kids) i've just turned 27, however i'm beginning to panic that i'm at a different stage he's taking about kids but doesnt realise that my life will change completely, career, social, we have no family close by and i fear i'd be in the trenches alone. Anyway thats another story.
We've been together 6 years, i mived in after 6 months during covid and was desperate for security after some deep personal trauma... during the first 3 years i found out he'd been extremely flirty texting and sexting a few different girls (at the time i was at such a low i felt i couldnt leave -preface we are happy now) & i'm not stupid i do believe that of course it was more than that however i chose to forgive and get on with it at the time...
fast forward to now hes 32 & i'm 27, ive just been to ibiza for a weekend and had the best time ever but its reawakened a side of me that i'd put to bed when all the personal trauma kicked off and thats that i love a party and love to be wanted, i've come home feeling like it'd have been nice to have enjoyed it as a single girl (please no judgement i feel awful - obviously i didnt act on it but i wanted to)...
am i a horrible person to want attention and to be wanted, i often feel like ive had to teach my husband to love me... also 6 months married and had sex twice and its not for want of trying on my part.. so theres something wrong somewhere
please help or atleast let me know i'm not a horrible person for feeling this way... maybe i am but would love some perspective, advice, please help....