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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Something missing?

2 replies

SpoonyMember · 30/05/2025 10:52

AIBU, yes, yes i am. But hopefully someone will tell me i'm not crazy to feel like this LOL.

husband and i have been married 6months (no kids) i've just turned 27, however i'm beginning to panic that i'm at a different stage he's taking about kids but doesnt realise that my life will change completely, career, social, we have no family close by and i fear i'd be in the trenches alone. Anyway thats another story.
We've been together 6 years, i mived in after 6 months during covid and was desperate for security after some deep personal trauma... during the first 3 years i found out he'd been extremely flirty texting and sexting a few different girls (at the time i was at such a low i felt i couldnt leave -preface we are happy now) & i'm not stupid i do believe that of course it was more than that however i chose to forgive and get on with it at the time...

fast forward to now hes 32 & i'm 27, ive just been to ibiza for a weekend and had the best time ever but its reawakened a side of me that i'd put to bed when all the personal trauma kicked off and thats that i love a party and love to be wanted, i've come home feeling like it'd have been nice to have enjoyed it as a single girl (please no judgement i feel awful - obviously i didnt act on it but i wanted to)...
am i a horrible person to want attention and to be wanted, i often feel like ive had to teach my husband to love me... also 6 months married and had sex twice and its not for want of trying on my part.. so theres something wrong somewhere

please help or atleast let me know i'm not a horrible person for feeling this way... maybe i am but would love some perspective, advice, please help....

OP posts:
winterdarkness · 31/05/2025 06:35

It seems that you are not suited to stay together long term and that’s ok. People make mistakes and there’s no shame in accepting that your marriage was a mistake. You can get divorced and move on. You are very young and in a few years time, you could meet the right person and feel completely different about your choices.

For now, speak to your husband, accept this is not working and get on with your life!

whynotmereally · 31/05/2025 06:53

You missed out on your young free single days by settling down and now you are having a grass is greener moment. The reality is that party time gets old quite quickly, same people, same
places. Just like being in a relationship.
Your options are-
Stay with dh and put off kids etc for a few years to continue to enjoy yourself
Divorce and embrace life as a single person

But another thing to consider is are you in love with your dh? Did he provide security/protection that you no longer need. ? Do you resent his behaviour in the earlier stages of your relationship?

There’s no right or wrong but partying won’t sustain you either long term.

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