To send toddler to nursery for an extra morning to clean the house?

[justgoandgetpizza]

Toddler (2) attends two full days a week while I work.

I am considering sending her for an extra morning to get to grips with the house a bit better. It isn’t awful but I feel like a lot of the bigger jobs like cleaning windows and cleaning the oven and organising the laundry just don’t get done because I never have the time … I can do bits around DD but it’s just very much doing what I can, when I can rather than properly getting to grips with a deep clean.

I’ve thought about a cleaner but I’ve found when we had one in the last they start well and then standards slip. And tidying before they come is a stress, by the time I’ve done that I always feel I might as well do it myself.

AIBU? Feel strangely guilty about it.

If you can afford it then go for it. It means that when you have you child you will won't be distracted by chores and that sense of being productive makes you feel calmer and therefore better for your child. In my case I do it when my kids are with their dad, so I get the jobs done quicker and feeling productive means I fully enjoy my time with the kids when they come home.

If you can afford it then do it. You'll be more present. We feel guilty about everything. You'll feel guilty that your cleaning and not doing stuff with her. Send her and let her play with friends and be entertained.

Good idea. Nothing to feel guilty about, though I understand why you do.

Thanks … I think it’s because the activities she likes tend to be on in the morning.

I could send her for an afternoon but that feels quite disruptive really!

Nothing to feel guilty about, nursery is fun for toddlers! I sent both my children to nursery even when I wasn't working, because they enjoyed playing with other children. And if you can get cleaning done while she is at nursery, it means she gets more quality time with you when she isn't.

Oh My God DO IT!
Just bloody get it done!

You can get on top of it all then sit and have a peaceful coffee while watching something you’ve recorded in peace! Think of the possibilities are endless!
Just think of a line full of washing blowing in the summer breeze, the oven spotless and the stairs hoovered. Mind and soul refreshed with no rushing, fitting it all in, leaving things undone!

This saved my actual sanity when mine were tiny.

I had some time off in lieu owed this week so had two days at home whilst the DDs were in nursery and it has been bloody brilliant. Got so much done! Do not feel guilty - its important that we have time to ourselves as well. Absolutely go for it. If your DD gets the 30 funded hours from September, it might not even cost that much extra anyway.

That’s my thinking, re the funded hours! My mind is now at rest

Do it ,enjoy the time on your own

If you can afford it, do it! Especially if they really enjoy nursery!

I know this isn't what you're asking and might not be relevant... if you have a partner or a spouse, be careful setting a pattern that you do all the house work on your days off. The partner or spouse can then just get used to a clean house as if by magic! Which might be fine now, but if you decide to work more days, the expectation might still be there. Only a thought, and I realise I'm missing the point of the thread 😊

Pay someone to clean the house when you’re at work

@MikeRafone that would be more expensive than a morning at nursery though and honestly they just aren’t very good. We’ve had two cleaners and both started off well but then started massively taking the piss and you also have to ensure the house is tidy so they can actually clean, which is at least half the battle!

@Hollieandtheivie I know what you mean. I think it I did go back full time, which isn’t likely until the children are secondary age, we probably would have to get a cleaner but the sort of toy kitchen, ds’s toy tool box (which magically gets everywhere) dolls and doll houses, toy tractors, train sets, cars, toy vet sets … won’t be as bad, although I’m sure I’ll have to deal with strewn clothes and the remnants of snacks a lot more!

I think this would be cheaper than a cleaner and more enjoyable for your child as nursery for the morning sounds more fun than getting under your mums feet whilst she is stressed about cleaning. You can then have a nice afternoon together.

It’s a win win for you and DD. Free your mind of the housework chatter and try to slot in some satisfying me time while DD plays. @Hollieandtheivie makes a valid point.

Do this for sure. But also cut yourself some slack! Don't manically clean for all the time you have. Do something nice. Get 90 mins of cleaning in then have done with it. Feet up, cup of tea, book or netflix. I honestly think I get more done with my scheduled slacking. It helps focus the mind and you are more productive. Like when you are getting twice as much done at work on the last day before a holiday.

This drives me mad! Housework is WORK but we've been conditioned to believe that it's just something to fit into our spare time. If you're cleaning the house on a Friday morning then you're WORKING! Of course you should put your toddler in nursery while you're at WORK.

Sorry for shouting but when my children were very young and I was at home with them, I got sick of people assuming I led a life of leisure. When the youngest started nursery, I went back to paid work full time and I employed a cleaner. She was paid for the WORK she did.

Yanbu, I have a one year old and take Mondays off to be with her, I naively thought I’d get some housework done too 😆 instead once she din bed at 7 my husband and I do a few bits but never enough for a deep clean etc.

We thought about a cleaner too but agree on the standards slipping part, much better to do it yourself I think and if that means an extra morning at nursery I think that’s fine.

Of course you are not being unreasonable!

Don’t hesitate. You would not be unreasonable to send her to nursery for an extra hour just so that you could put your feet up and chill out. You need to take good care of yourself, OP. Absolutely loads of mums get help from family - if you don’t, and you need to outsource to a nursery, that’s absolutely fine! Please don’t feel guilty.

When mine were little - and I was a SAHM - I had a cleaner AND I used to send them to a childminder one afternoon per week just so I had time for myself.

I would consider whether an extra morning of work would be more of an investment in your career long term, even if you spent the money on a cleaner (there are good ones out there). Depends what your work is like though.

Definitely! Far more productive and safe, your toddler will be having fun at nursery, and then you can enjoy the time you do have without stressing about what you need to get done .

I am a teacher, I’m not looking to advance career wise to be honest.

I have done three days a week since having children, but honestly it is just too much. So I’m going down to two next year and then I’ll go back up to three once both children are in school (my DS starts school in September.)

If she likes nursery I'd definitely do this - clean the house, then go for a swim or something that's just for you.

Then definitely send her to nursery and don't feel guilty at all

Could you afford to send her the whole day? That way she gets to do the activities she likes. You get to clean and catch up on self care. They you get a 3 day weekend to chill, play and have family time.e with no distractions.