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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Children's passports.

16 replies

caviarontoast · 29/05/2025 15:48

Family member, divorced from husband.

Husband wants to take their DD on holiday abroad next year with his new wife , (Mother is resident parent), child's passport will need renewing before then, he is expecting/demanding his ex, the Mother, to pay for it.
She's on a low income and not going to be taking the child abroad and says if he wants to take their DD on holiday he should pay for the passport.
I agree with her, she wouldn't be expected to pay for the plane tickets or hotel so why should she pay for a passport she's not going to be using.

Is she BU?

OP posts:
jeaux90 · 29/05/2025 15:51

She just says no. End of.

Redissnoring · 29/05/2025 20:13

He wants to take her abroad. He pays for passport.

Zanatdy · 29/05/2025 20:16

Yes, absolutely he should pay. Mum wouldn’t be renewing if child wasn’t going away with her dad so it’s part of his holiday spends. I’d hold firm, he will have to pay if he wants to take her.

UpsideDownChairs · 29/05/2025 20:18

Of course he should pay. I just renewed my kids passports because I want to take them abroad. He wants to take his kid abroad, he needs to renew her passport. That's how it works.

He can do it all online, although he will need the mother's passport number in order to do that.

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 29/05/2025 20:21

She shouldn't have to pay 100% but as it would likely benefit her she should perhaps offer to pay 50%

PercyPigInAWig · 29/05/2025 20:23

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 29/05/2025 20:21

She shouldn't have to pay 100% but as it would likely benefit her she should perhaps offer to pay 50%

How will it benefit her if she can’t afford a holiday?

CombatBarbie · 29/05/2025 20:24

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 29/05/2025 20:21

She shouldn't have to pay 100% but as it would likely benefit her she should perhaps offer to pay 50%

Why??

CombatBarbie · 29/05/2025 20:25

Sod that, he wants to take her away, he pays associated costs, end of.

Hesma · 29/05/2025 20:25

My ExH wanted to take our kids abroad, he organised the passports

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 29/05/2025 20:26

Why is it when mum wants something dad should pay half but when it's the other way everyone says dad should pay it all?

No one knows that she will never take the child abroad. Just that currently no plans. So yes it will likely benefit her

Pyjamatimenow · 29/05/2025 20:28

My stepson’s mum has never taken him abroad. We do and we’ve paid for the passport twice over. Whoever needs the passport pays for it

UpsideDownChairs · 29/05/2025 20:31

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 29/05/2025 20:26

Why is it when mum wants something dad should pay half but when it's the other way everyone says dad should pay it all?

No one knows that she will never take the child abroad. Just that currently no plans. So yes it will likely benefit her

Well, she can pay him back half at that point then.

Can you give an example of this alleged forced sharing in one direction but not the other?

TheNightingalesStarling · 29/05/2025 20:32

All she is obliged to do is to provide any details needed for the "mother" section

UpsideDownChairs · 29/05/2025 20:32

ALSO - kids passports don't last very long - only 5 years, so what's the chances she'll afford something within the next 5 years now, if she can't afford the 85 quid now?

grumpygrape · 29/05/2025 20:34

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 29/05/2025 20:26

Why is it when mum wants something dad should pay half but when it's the other way everyone says dad should pay it all?

No one knows that she will never take the child abroad. Just that currently no plans. So yes it will likely benefit her

We’re not talking ever though; I think children’s passports last 5 years ?

Perhaps if she decides to take her daughter abroad in the lifetime of the passport she can reimburse her Ex half the cost. If not then it’s all down to him.

CocoPlum · 29/05/2025 20:35

I'm divorced, we are on 2nd passports since we split. The first time I asked ex to pay half as he was planning to take them abroad. When I renewed them again it was clear he wasn't going to do so, so I sucked it up.

Essentially, if the mother has no plans to take them abroad, she shouldn't have to pay, as it's something she wouldn't need to buy.

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