To ask friends partner about possible engagement.

[Wholesomelonesome]

My friend and I have been with our respective partners for 12 years this year.
We actually met through the men and have grown to become best friends.
Since then, (let’s call friends Julie and Michael) Julie and Michael have had 3 amazing children and bought a house.
Such a beautiful family.

My DH and I are celebrating 5 years of marriage next year. We are having a small celebration and I know ‘their song’ will definitely be performed, as we are having a tribute act of a musician we all love.
I think my friend would LOVE to get engaged/ proposed to, to this song.
Should I mention to her DP, or mind my beeswax?

If she really wanted to marry him she’d have done it at some point before having 3 children with him. She can’t be that bothered.

I’m very intrigued what your motive is with this

awful idea

I am trying to think of one reason to do this i can't think of any

This is genuinely the weirdest thing I’ve read on MN.

Keep your nose out of their relationship. If he wanted to propose he’d do it! Why would you do this, are you ok?

no!!

Apart from all the valid reasons PP have written here he might think Julie put you up to it as well.

If it aint broke, don't fix it.

Why on Earth would you do that?

How do you know he hasn't already proposed? There may be good reasons why they are not married and they may not necessarily have shared them with you.

Personally, the idea of being the centre of attention put me off a wedding so I would be absolutely mortified if someone proposed to me in public.

Let them make their own decisions.

Not in a zillion years! Stay out of their relationship management. It's Jane Austen's Emma level of interference/lack of self-awareness and says something that you can't celebrate your marriage without involving yourself with other people's. Just no.

OMG!! No, no, no! If your friend's partner wanted to marry her, he'd ask. In my opinion men who genuinely love their partner, and WANT to marry them, will ask in a timely manner. Don't get involved, it's none of your business.

You’re going to request that someone proposes to their partner? No. If he wanted to propose he’s capable of deciding that for himself. What an odd thing to involve yourself in.

Plus can you imagine, for the rest of their lives, her knowing you'd put him up to it. Like he can't think and choose for himself. I'd be resentful if I was her, however nice your (mis-guided) intentions.

Sweet baby Jesus op.... no.... please don't say or do anything. Its their relationship to do things when they want at a time and place to suit them. They may be your friends but you definitely won't be privy to their intimate relationship, who knows what conversations they have had about marriage or if they even want to.

Please stay out of it. Sure your heart was in the right place but this post makes you come across as a interfering busy body and slightly unhinged to be honest.

"Wow OP what an amazing idea! I've wanted to propose to Julie for years but I wasn't sure if she wanted to get married as we've never discussed it and she's never dropped any hints. It's so lucky that Tribute Band will be playing as I absolutely do not have access to "our song" in any other way. I also would love to propose at someone else's party on front of everyone. Why didn't I think of this before?"

In a long list of awful ideas on MN, this rises to the top! Stay out of it, not your business!

If Julie is your best friend, and you think she wants to be married, why don’t you suggest to Julie that she proposes to Michael during her theme song? She’ll get either the answer she wants, or the answer she needs, or she’ll give you a weird look and say “but neither of us want to be married, that’s why we haven’t done it in twelve years.”