To only take one child out at a time?

[oneofeachtype]

Boys aged 9 and 12. Bloody sick of them ruining days out with near constant squabbling and nastiness to each other.

Its lovely when its just me and one of them. We have a really nice time.

WIBU to only take one out at a time and leave the other with his Dad?

Actions have consequences, as long as you let them know their forfeit is due to their actions.

No of course not, as long as both are getting equal time and options. It’s probably exactly what they are looking for.

I don't think they will see it as a forfeit - certainly the elder one will be glad to get away from his younger brother!

Their Dad might be less pleased about it!

Divide and conquer.

Why will dad not be happy?

I do it when I can! It's lovely having 1 to 1 time!

But if they do squabble then I'd make sure there are clear consequences for their unkind behaviour. I once made mine watch supernanny to show them what it was like when they squabbles!

He will no longer get time to himself.

I don't care about him losing this, but he will.

Divide and conquer! You take one and dad takes other out.

This, it's good to spend time with them individually, I had that age gap between mine and at this stage they were a pain in the arse!

Absolutely. I have twins and me and DH often split them up and spend one on one time with them. They absolutely love this and are always so well behaved and happy on those days.

RIght, that's it settled. I am going to start doing this!

There's only a few years left with them both to enjoy individual time with them so he can suck it up and when do you get time to yourself?

Yes definitely do this. it'll make for much more enjoyable and less stressful days for all. plus I think its nice for each dc to have your undivided attention.

We've always done a mix.
There is something really nice about spending 1:1 time with your Mum, or your Dad, and also, as a parent, spending individual time with any one of your dc.

Equally though, it is nice to have shared memories.
We had many fights and arguments on various days out and holidays over the years, but my now adult dc don't remember fighting, and do remember the shared experiences.
It's good to have a balance.

My ex and I split our kids two nights a week so we can have quality 1:1 time. Oldest DD requested it and it works really well. Been doing ut about 18 months