AIBU to just want to fast forward time? (weight loss related and a bit of a moan)

[sickofbeingsofat]

I'm sick of being fat and just want it to disappear. People can judge my weight all they want because you can't judge me harder than I'm judging myself.

I thought I was 24 stone. This was bad enough and I finally decided to do something about it. I got on the scales four weeks ago and I was... 25st 7lb. The SHAME.
I've now lost a stone and a half in four weeks (9lb, then 6lb, then 3lb, then another 3lb) so I am now down to 24 stone but I just feel like I haven't lost anything because I'm only at the weight I thought I was in the first place.
My goal weight is 15 stone, which is STILL overweight and is stil 9stone away. Now that wieght loss has slowed down from those initial first weeks, and will contiue to slow, it will take so much time and I just want to gone. I feel so disgusted with myself, after these four weeks of healthy eating, looking back at what I used to eat. I just don't want to carry it all around any more

Sorry for the moan, and thank you if you're still with me. Any advice or words of encouragement, especially from people who have been there, would be greatly appreciated. 😓

This talk about yourself won't help. Your body is not shameful and eating isn't disgusting.
Focus on what you can do now and what is making you feel good.
The most important thing is not seeing it as all or nothing. If you have a binge it doesn't mean that day is ruined for example. You don't need to feel shame and guilt just focus on nourishing yourself in the future.

It’s one of the biggest struggles I think with weight loss, staying motivated in the long term once the initial novelty wears off and you still have a long way to go. I don’t have too much advice as I required WLIs as a tool to keep that motivation going, I couldn’t motivate myself long-term with a fair amount to lose, but I think that for me, reading and listening to a lot of stuff around healthy eating and nutrition and science around UPFs etc has made it more of a lifestyle change than a ‘diet’ and easier to keep on with it. But it is a slog - breaking it into little milestones helps sometimes.

Well done on your weight loss, you have made a start which is the hardest thing to do. Keep going and you will get there...the time will pass and it will all be worth it.

You have done brilliantly so far, like a PP I have had to use WLI to support me to lose weight as nothing else has ever helped me before, whereas (it seems as you haven't mentioned it) that you are doing it all by yourself.

I am doing it all by myself, so I am proud of myself for that at least. No meds, no injections, no slimming world or any sort of plan beyond just eating better and moving more, so for that I am proud of myself. I've joined a gym and although I can't go during half term because of childcare issues, I am going as much as I can and enjoying it too.
But it just feels a bit like throwing a deckchair off the titanic. A 1.5 stone weight loss would be dramatic to so many people but to me, you can barely notice the difference.

I can sympathise with your feelings. I was heavier than I thought I was, too, and it was made worse again by my scales being 'off', which meant I 'regained' everything I thought I'd lost when I switched them.

Stick with it, though, and concentrate only on the next little goal - don't worry about the end-point, yet, just look for the next 'round number' or 'half stone' or whatever. Little victories, not huge great months away targets.

It is worth it. I'm six stone down and it's sooooo much better, and I still have at least one to go. Yes, it would be nice if it happened over night, but you will one day find yourself looking back and be so pleased.

It's worth getting a tape measure, too. I've found that when the scales aren't shifting, the inches are and vice-versa.

Fair warning - it'll take a while for it to be 'visible' to other people. I'd probably lost about 3/3.5 before it was really visible, but that does snowball.

I was going to say similar tbh.

I lost weight this year and found that listening to the obesity code podcast and reading around the subject massively helped with motivation and knowing that, however long the journey took, I was making better choices for myself along the way.

What I tell myself when working towards any long term goal is that the time is going to pass anyway - however slowly it feels that is happening.

At the end of it, I will either be in a better position or the same situation as I am now but with that long journey still ahead of me.

Look for non scale victories along the way.

Cherish yourself and drop the recriminations. You know you can do it because you already are!

But it just feels a bit like throwing a deckchair off the titanic. A 1.5 stone weight loss would be dramatic to so many people but to me, you can barely notice the difference.

It's also 1.5 stone you don't still have to lose... 😉

And every day of increased exercise and healthier eating is also an extra day of cherishing yourself. One more day that you've made positive choices for yourself and one more day where you've loved yourself just a little bit more.

Don't see it as a battle between yourself and your body/the weight. This is something you and your body are doing together.

Might sound like bollocks but anything that gets you into a positive headspace about this!

As someone who has been overweight at two specific points in life and has lost and sustained weight loss, all I can tell you is that you will probably always be obsessed with food. Whether it's diets to lose weight or maintaining weightless, the constant mental load will always be there, so you need to find a way to live with it.

I find genuine habit changes help so that you can take the temptation and shame element. For example, I have one chocolate bar every evening. It's my rule. I sometimes have it even when I don't fancy it and I don't eat more even when I do want more because I've decided that my rule is one a day after dinner. Then I don't have to spend hours thinking about whether I should or shouldn't have it, how much I should have etc. I don't need to exert discipline and will power on a day to day basis, I switch off and follow the rule.

I schedule my exercise one week in advance as well, then i don't think about it because I just have to go. I don't even have to be motivated, I just need to follow my rule.and show up like I would for work. There's no choice.

Basically habits and a long term reason to show up take away the shame and take away the mental flip flopping and yo yo-ing and it quietens the noise.

It's not easy, but you need to find something that stops it being about a diet to get rid of your fat quickly and becomes a way of life that doesn't require motivation, just habits, because IME, those aren't sustainable long term, the novelty fast wears off.

Yes, I’ve been losing weight since January. Slowly!! I’m on the edge of 2 stone in five months and it feels so slow.
I have dropped a dress size and I do feel so much better but I’m not where I thought I’d be at this point and I wish it were September when I now might be at that point.
I haven’t had any help, I’ve calorie counted and I have had a few days off counting but no binges.
So I yes I hear you. What keeps it going is if it’s two stone now it’ll be another two stone by the end of the year and that’s a significantly better place than I was in at the start. Well done on your loss so far

You‘ve done amazing so far!

Try to remember a holiday you were looking forward to last year. I bet time dragged by while you were waiting for it to happen. And now look- it‘s been and gone and there are new things to look forward to.

It can be the same with losing the weight. Stick with it- imagine how great you‘ll feel

Well done, you're doing so well! With weight loss, I find mini targets help more than the really big ones (although they're good to have) day to day. I love getting half stone certificates at Slimming World because it makes each chunk feel like a real win (which it is). But celebrating each half stone in any non-food way can be really motivating. Three pounds a week is a lot of weight to be losing and you should be really proud - that's nearly a stone a month!! Some people find other measurements help to - dress sizes or waist measurements. Sometimes when the scales aren't budging, those are the weeks you see a big drop in overall size for some reason. Keep going - you've made such a great start ❤️

Thanks so much to everyone so far, this is a huge help and I am so grateful for the lack of judgy comments!

I will give that podcast a listen now while I clean my house!

I think smaller targets are better, get into the next stone bracket or aim to lose 10% of your overall weight. Whatever it is, that makes it more manageable for you and is the only way I could keep motivated when I was losing. You sound like you are doing brilliantly, 1.5 stone is a great start!

Take photos in underwear/shorts/gym wear or whatever you feel comfortable taking photos in which shows your shape. From all angles. You will see so much more change in your shape than you will on the scales as the gym will add muscle back which makes you think you’re losing weight slowly or have plateaued sometimes when your shape is changing.

Also inch measurements etc because that will show loss the scales can’t and you don’t have a preconceived figure in your head already to feel disheartened by like you did with your weight figure.

I recently lost my baby weight after my second child and set little targets like when I weight X I will go and treat myself to a new pair of jeans/summer outfit or whatever. Breaks up the 9 stone which seems huge into manageable chunks with rewards built in.

Don’t give up, 1.5 stone in a month is an incredible achievement and just because you don’t notice it too much doesn’t mean others don’t or it’s not important. You see you everyday so you won’t notice. The same way you don’t realise how much your kids are growing because you put them to bed the same size they woke up every day yet somehow when you look back it photos from a year ago they’re half the size!

It didn't go on in weeks, it won't come off in weeks. Your healthier new diet is better for all aspects of your health, not just weight; just congratulate yourself on taking control and taking better care of yourself. This isn't "a diet", it's your new, healthier, way of life. This is just what you do now. You'll be doing it for decades more, hopefully, so there nothing, in a sense, to be impatient about. Every day, tell yourself that you'll never be as heavy again as you are today, and just... keep going.

UPDATE: Two weeks later, and I have lost another 6lb. 2lb the next week, and 4lb this week. I am now 1lb away from the 2 stone mark :)

Thanks for the words of encouragement and good luck to anyone else trying to lose!

8 stone to go! haha!