Family member moved in….

[FFSSue]

Family member moved in with us 5 years ago as he fell out with previous landlord, also family member. It was a short term arrangement till they got sorted. In short 5 years later still here at a minimal rent (about one seventh of room rentals round here). Initially it was OK but I have now had enough. No attempt seemingly to sort anything out, does a few chores that’s minimal too so several weeks back gave them 6 months notice which is generous. I think it took them aback but so far things have been civil but just want to ask others of their experience in trying to rent a room in London- is it that hard to find somewhere?

Our lodger has been looking on MySpare Room but says the rooms they go after are either gone or if they go for a viewing no one turns up. This has happened on about 6 rooms so far. I have told them to contact the council to find out how their application to go on list is going( they applied to the council at my insistence a few months back so in the 5 years here hadn’t even done that!).
They would be eligible for sheltered housing as over 55. Is their age making people wary? I am just getting concerned that time will pass quickly and they’ll still be here come the end of the 6 month deadline and then what?

Is it harder for older people to rent these days?

Your lodger is playing you like a fiddle. Can you not see through all
their excuses about why they can’t find a room?

Having said that, most people looking for house shares are likely to be much younger, and seeking people of a similar age, so it’s definitely going to be harder for someone in their mid-50s to get a house share.

You need to be really firm with this person and give them a hard deadline. They are not bothering to find alternative accommodation because they’ve been getting away with it for 5 years!

As others have pointed out "help" from the council doesn't necessarily mean housing him themselves. They may help him in other ways, although if he works that help is likely to be minimal. I wouldn't feel guilty, if there's nothing wrong with your relative I think you'll be surprised at how resourceful people can be when they really have to.

If they want to, that is. Some are happy to freeload forever and still complain about everything, instead. If you're dealing with one of those you can expect emotional blackmail and other manipulative tactics when you try to stop the freeloading.

Do they work/have savings? Will you stick to the date you’ve given? I feel simultaneously cross with you for tolerating this for 5 years (5 years!!) and concerned that they won’t go quietly. Perhaps they’ll have to take studio outside of London, but ultimately, I think you need to be strong and ensure he/she leaves on the date you chose.

Been there 'temporarily' for 5 years, paying you 1/7 of the market value. You are being played and your 'lodger' has absolutely no intention of moving out and probably doesn't even look. Why would theu when you can subsidise their life.

You are being mugged off.

There must be more to this. Is he an alcoholic or drug addict? There is no way the council will put him in B&B when he could pay for that himself.

What's really going on here OP? How does the rest of your family feel about him?

Why have you not put the rent up? Do that now, even if you save some of it as help when we moves out. You are giving him no incentive to sort himself out.

Yes it's hard for older people, especially men, to rent a room in anything other than a HMO. Women will be reluctant unless they know him well, men of that age are often living with someone or too antisocial to want to share. He may be able to find rentals aimed at over 55s, although it's more often over 60s.

Consider if he'd qualify for this https://www.cityoflondon.gov.uk/services/housing-and-homelessness/housing-estates/the-city-of-london-almshouses-trust

Demand he pays you above market rate, more than what he'll pay for a room!

If he doesn't pay he moves out.

I've been through this it took 3 x 6m notices.
Demanding paying market rate.
And putting together a property pack so they had no excuse to avoid any longer.

5 years 4 months later they moved out.
Was supposed to be a year 🙈

People, even family, will use if given the slightest opportunity. Sending empathy

It is really really hard to find a room in London and it's a young city, most people will want someone their age to share with.
Also is he realistic about rental costs nowadays, after 5 yrs guessing he's out of the loop and might not be finding somewhere because his budget is off.
None of this is your problem at all.... it's his, he's an adult and should sort it. At 55 he's old enough for specific older people flats and housing so probably easiest to look there than a generic house share. He might need to move further put and commute, such is life.

I know everyone is saying that at 55 , he’s old enough to source his own place. That’s true, but he hasn’t really made any progress in the last five years, or even last few months /weeks, so I do think that op needs to get her naggy, annoying hat on and actively sit with him to research possibilities, book viewings etc.

I imagine it would be very difficult for an older person to find a room in a house share and I’ve absolutely no idea how you’ll go about sorting this mess out.

You’ve enable him to live in a cocoon for five years, he won’t want to leave @FFSSue, you will have to be harsh in order to get him gone. The fact he fell out with another family member whilst living in there property, was very telling. No one in your family will want him but will have no qualms with making you feel guilty when you force him to leave. You do what is right for you and let this guy face his own consequences when you show him the door.

I think OP is just going to let him continue to live with her.

I guess it will take them years on the council list, as in their (the councils) eyes they are suitably housed. You might have to write a letter of eviction to help them get more priority

Maybe the only way is if you move!