‘Everything you didn’t know you needed hamper’ for new parents

[Giftser]

Some very dear friends are having a baby soon. I am sure they have the big items and everyone will obviously buy the clothes and nice bits. So thinking of putting together a small hamper of useful ‘everything you didn’t know you needed’ items to save the obligatory new parent dash to the 24hr supermarket 😅

So far the draft list is…
Infacol
Gripe water
Metanium
Milton wipes
Scratch mittens
Mam Air Dummy
Raspberry tea (to promote labour)
Lactation tea
Peppermint tea (for oversupply)
Ibruprofen
Paracetamol
Movicol stool softeners

Any other essential must haves that you cherished pre or post partum?

I wouldn’t put any medicines or herbal teas in the hamper especially Movical!! Muslin squares are the most useful item to have post partum plus vouchers for takeaways or Hello Fresh or the like!

You can never have too many muslins.
Even this isn't true! I bought a pack of ten because I was told I would need loads. Was given 6 more including a pack of three giant ones. Hardly ever used any of them. Felt guilty about the giant ones as I think they were quite a fancy brand but I opened the packet and used one of them a couple of times as a swaddle then they got abandoned.

There really is absolutely nothing that is universally useful and guessing what might be will inevitably mean wasted money and items.

Yeah we didn’t use muslins either really. DDs didn’t really spit up so they just wiped a bit of dribble now and then but we’d have been fine without any I think. I use them as dusters now.

I use my unused baby muslins to strain jellies and drain yoghurt

Don’t worry these aren’t run of the mill friends or even your generic close friend.

These are very very old friends, I have lived with both of them at different points (we don’t anymore obviously 🤣), cleaned each others shit. You name it. So I don’t think they would be offended by any of this and they obviously don’t have to use it and can pass on if it’s not something they use.

The only thing I did question myself was the stool softeners but have just had my second and I sent DP desperately on a trip as had forgotten to get anything. He returned with the dulcoease (not what I wanted) and said the pharmacist was incredibly insistent this was THE BEST THING EVER. I have to say she was correct! 😂 So to save us all a conversation about poo thought just to slip it in.

I cannot believe someone has called me a bad parent on here 😭 Crazy!

I think some of these things are far too personal and not really useful for everyone.
The insulated cup
Epsom salts
chocolate
sound very good. One of the best things I got was a huge tin of Welsh cakes baked by my aunty, which I think were for visitors. I found them so useful for snacking in the middle of the night whilst breast feeding.
Infacol and all those things are no good at the start and I wouldn’t take pain killers whilst breast feeding. I am always reading but didn’t read at all for the first year.
muslins very useful, maybe hand cream.

I agree with the majority, I wouldn’t have used half of that list!

I had a couple of teethers that I loved as gifts, etta loves sensory squares and black and white fold out toy for the bassinet or tummy time. A nappy roll to take nappies and wipes out and about… but they’re all more expensive gifts rather than hamper material!

For a hamper I’d get, calpol, biodegradable wipes, a book or 2, maybe a rattle or teether, particularly nice muslin, snacks for mum- salt based and/or sugar based, sudocrem, perhaps a nice soft toy… something along those lines.

I am sure a bottle of wine would be welcome if you know they drink! I would not buy all the other things to be honest.

they obviously don’t have to use it and can pass on if it’s not something they use.
But plenty of it they probably couldn't pass on even if unused as they are unlikely to be comfortable doing so to others. Plus that's just another chore. It really is just creating a load of waste and clutter because you think you know best what other people will need. It's really arrogant.

This is why I think these more intimate items are actually really important, they're things you might not know about and you need in a hurry! I only had some kind of laxative in my cupboard already due to my DH having an issue earlier in the year. I think this is a great idea, very considerate and thoughtful and anyone I know would appreciate it. The only thing is you could include exchange vouchers if some of the items don't get used. Of course it's a weird list, post partum is the only time you end up talking to people, sometimes strangers, about fear of going to the loo, painful breasts, a sore fanjo etc

These are great! I have a new baby and don't use dummies, gripe water, apparently the snot sucker isn't recommended (though can be very useful - just up to the parents!)

I'd also skip the raspberry tea personally, it doesn't necessarily induce labour but some people are nervous about it. Plus I avoided hibiscus in pregnancy which turns out to be in most herbal tea!

We didn't end up using the scratch mittens either, just folded the ends of his onesies over (they couldn't fall off that way).

Do you know if your friend plans to breastfeed? I do but that's also very personal! It's a lovely idea though.

I had a couple of very sweet gift baskets and I think the most useful things were:

• low calorie snack bars
• a couple of rattles
• bibs
• a nice mug
• baby socks
• cosy slippers for mum
• (got these ourselves but dates / glucose tablets / lucozade sport could be good for labour?)
• baby books! Can't get enough of these

The stool softener is always useful but the hospital will probably prescribe one? You could add a bag of coffee because that's helpful anyway (and actually worked better than the stool softener for me 😂)

Honestly people on here can be really harsh! No one would ever say or even think you were a bad parent for trying to get a nice gift for some close friends 🙄 I posted recently about what behaviour to avoid as a future MIL (was getting annoyed with mine) - I do think I worded it weirdly but someone told me not to expect a relationship with my son and family! And he's literally a baby.

Edit: plus honestly newly postpartum if you'd offered me a stool softener/laxative that ACTUALLY worked, I'd have bitten your arm off 😂

Well that was the idea. No one knows you need gripe water or infacol or a dummy until baby is screaming their head off with trapped wind/ colic at 9pm and you have no idea whether said potential item is even going to work. So to save a trip where dad leaves mum with a screaming baby for the best part of an hour. At least it gives them to option to say ok let’s try that. If it’s doesn’t work for them then at least it’s not wasted time and left mum in a distressing situation while dad hunts for xyz being suggested on the obligatory internet/ mumsnet search. 🤣

And now I am arrogant aswell 😅 Tough life wearing all these hats

But I don't think how well you know these people is the point. You are planning to give them a weird pharmacopia of infant and adult drugs/preparations/odd accessories you have no idea whether they will ever need or use, apparently thinking you are saving them 'the obligatory new parent dash to the 24 hour supermarket'. I have certainly never dashed out for any of these things. It's potentially a huge waste of money on a fairly weird present.

The problem is that whilst one person may need these meds, most of us do not, I had no idea stool softeners were a postpartum thing, why? As for herbal teas, they are at best quackery to make you feel like you are doing something i suppose. Vouchers for cook or better still drop off a home made lasagna, that’s what made me smile

It's just quite weird. It's nice that you found gripewater or scratch mitts improved your life with a newborn, but I think you're extrapolating way too much from your own experience. Most of these are not things most people will need.

Dead Sea salt for a bath when you’re sore as hell after the birth!!!

Sorry last one, stuff we've actually needed with a small baby (I get what you're trying to do with the gift!)

• Calpol
• something for cradle cap
• baby bath wash / shampoo
• baby thermometer if they don't already have one

Maybe you could add some unglamorous household things like loo roll or hand soap?

A homemade voucher promising to run to the shops at whatever time to pick up whatever they need so they don’t have to.

you can decide if it’s a one time use or limited uses and any other terms and conditions!

I think that baby "must haves" are all about the giver and their experience of their baby. Not at all about the unknown needs of the as yet unknown baby.

The best advice I can give is that the must haves are unique to the baby, and next day delivery is a thing, so DON'T fill your house with everything just in case.

For the stool stuff, I think natural is a much nicer way to go - why not a luxury fruit basket and a water bottle?

Tbh, on the advice front, I'd also just say "Google the search term plus Mumsnet".

For those of you who didn't need a stool softener after birth - you dodged a painful bullet!
I had pethidine and a C-section and believe me, that first poo is still scorched iny memory.

I had a traumatic birth and then 3 c sections, I was given plenty of lactulose in the hospital
Wouldn't be something I needed once home

Me too. It was like shitting out a cricket bat. I was crying so much and it wouldn't even flush away.

I think you mean well but honestly most of those things would be wasted on me .and Gripe water isn't recommended for newborns and some studies have shown it can even make reflux worse. and many people don't use dummies.

Do you know what type of nappies she is using? If you wanted to get something practical some nappies/nappy delivery subscription would be better
Or a lovely pamper box as new mothers have no time to think about themselves