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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find it very hard to deal with a very young senior manager?

123 replies

ForBoldMintBear · 27/05/2025 20:29

I’m 36 and I’m a general manager of a restaurant that is also part of a large chain. A few months ago we got a new area manager who is only 22! I just find him very hard to deal with because he is so young and in my opinion lacks experience. I’ve never known an area manager to be as young as he is either. I find him very difficult to deal with because he is so young. He also won’t take on board any suggestions or advice and he thinks he knows it all, including when I know that some of what he wants to do won’t work for the restaurant and that it will make things worse! AIBU to find it so hard to deal with an area manager who is this young? I don’t even know how he got the job when he is only 22.

OP posts:
GreenDragonisLoose · 27/05/2025 20:32

When I was in my 20s I was treated appallingly by colleagues who were older than me because they judged me purely on my age. It was awful. I was (am) very capable and incredibly good at my job.

Judge him by his dedication, skills, performance but PLEASE don't judge him purely based on his age.

lostinthesunshine · 27/05/2025 20:34

Presumably he has some experience or he wouldn’t be in the position.

Would someone who was 45 and had no experience be better?

Is it possible that you actually have a problem with his experience rather than his age?

Original poster
ForBoldMintBear · 27/05/2025 20:35

lostinthesunshine · 27/05/2025 20:34

Presumably he has some experience or he wouldn’t be in the position.

Would someone who was 45 and had no experience be better?

Is it possible that you actually have a problem with his experience rather than his age?

I have a problem with both his age and his experience as well!

OP posts:
Original poster
ForBoldMintBear · 27/05/2025 20:37

GreenDragonisLoose · 27/05/2025 20:32

When I was in my 20s I was treated appallingly by colleagues who were older than me because they judged me purely on my age. It was awful. I was (am) very capable and incredibly good at my job.

Judge him by his dedication, skills, performance but PLEASE don't judge him purely based on his age.

He doesn’t have enough experience for the role either in my opinion. He has a huge lack of understanding about how the business operates as well.

OP posts:
KarolKickie · 27/05/2025 20:38

Listen to Mel Robbins podcast ‘let them’, and let him crack on with his ideas. Some will work and some will fail but no point getting in a tizzy. Let him get on with it. If you think it’s a stupid idea then say that once then do as he says, and don’t worry yourself.

typo and spelling

lostinthesunshine · 27/05/2025 20:39

ForBoldMintBear · 27/05/2025 20:35

I have a problem with both his age and his experience as well!

Show quote history

So even if he had 6 years detailed and relevant experience and was absolutely great at his job, you would still have a problem with his age?

If so, you are the problem here.

MidnightPatrol · 27/05/2025 20:39

By all means judge him for his skills, but judging him for his age is unfair.

If you stay in the same role, you are going to find more and more managers that are younger than you - it is inevitable!

Original poster
ForBoldMintBear · 27/05/2025 20:40

MidnightPatrol · 27/05/2025 20:39

By all means judge him for his skills, but judging him for his age is unfair.

If you stay in the same role, you are going to find more and more managers that are younger than you - it is inevitable!

He doesn’t fully have the skills or enough experience for the role though.

OP posts:
JudgeBread · 27/05/2025 20:41

Well you seem to think you have enough experience for the job. Why aren't you doing it yourself if you're the expert and he's just some young'un know it all?

You just sound bitter and jealous to be honest.

helpfulperson · 27/05/2025 20:41

Karren Brady started running a football club at 23. I'm not sure why his age matters.

InterruptingRabbit · 27/05/2025 20:43

ForBoldMintBear · 27/05/2025 20:40

He doesn’t fully have the skills or enough experience for the role though.

Show quote history

Yes but you said you had a problem with both his age and his experience. Having a problem with his age is very unreasonable.

If he lacks experience, it’s reasonable for that to annoy you. But it should annoy you the same whether he’s 22 or 52.

ilovesooty · 27/05/2025 20:45

ForBoldMintBear · 27/05/2025 20:40

He doesn’t fully have the skills or enough experience for the role though.

Show quote history

Presumably the people who appointed him didn't agree with you.

babystarsandmoon · 27/05/2025 20:46

Leave him to make his own mistakes.

x2boys · 27/05/2025 20:46

I don't think it's fair to judge him on his age
If he's hasent got the experience and isn't good at his job that's one thing ,but could apply to someone of any age.

MidnightPatrol · 27/05/2025 20:46

ForBoldMintBear · 27/05/2025 20:40

He doesn’t fully have the skills or enough experience for the role though.

Show quote history

Obviously not everyone agrees.

I’ve known of several young guys in their twenties running big pubs with restaurants and hotels very competently - I don’t see that as any different to be an area manager for a restaurant chain.

Original poster
ForBoldMintBear · 27/05/2025 20:48

babystarsandmoon · 27/05/2025 20:46

Leave him to make his own mistakes.

I can’t, It affects my job and my work as well though?

OP posts:
Original poster
ForBoldMintBear · 27/05/2025 20:49

x2boys · 27/05/2025 20:46

I don't think it's fair to judge him on his age
If he's hasent got the experience and isn't good at his job that's one thing ,but could apply to someone of any age.

That’s the thing though, he also hasn’t got enough experience and he isn’t very good at his job either.

OP posts:
Original poster
ForBoldMintBear · 27/05/2025 20:49

JudgeBread · 27/05/2025 20:41

Well you seem to think you have enough experience for the job. Why aren't you doing it yourself if you're the expert and he's just some young'un know it all?

You just sound bitter and jealous to be honest.

I’m not jealous. I didn’t even apply for his job.

OP posts:
Bluebubblepig · 27/05/2025 20:51

Judge him by his experience not his age.

Aria2015 · 27/05/2025 20:53

Regardless of age, in situations where people who have the power to make decisions won't listen to others, I always make sure I politely and respectfully put any concerns or recommendations in writing (email) and then let them crack on. I understand it might make you life harder in the short term if your concerns come to prove true, but then you've got a paper trail to escalate things in the future.

Original poster
ForBoldMintBear · 27/05/2025 20:54

Bluebubblepig · 27/05/2025 20:51

Judge him by his experience not his age.

He doesn’t have the experience for the role either.

OP posts:
Hufflemuff · 27/05/2025 20:56

Well someone obviously saw something in him to hire him...

Perhaps he will bring a youthful refresh to the business, are you hoping to appeal to a younger clientele?

Btw, you having more years under your belt doesnt mean you know better - it means you know how it's been done up until now.

Hufflemuff · 27/05/2025 20:57

ForBoldMintBear · 27/05/2025 20:54

He doesn’t have the experience for the role either.

Show quote history

Says who? You?

Have you worked in many HR departments for large restaurant chains lately then?

Zabber · 27/05/2025 21:01

A 22 year old area manager is odd. Assistant Manager, maybe.. but Area Manager typically needs more experience. Is he related to one of the directors, perhaps?

fisherhatesgravel72 · 27/05/2025 21:04

He’s 14 years younger than you, and you’re not happy he’s doing better professionally. To be an area manager I’m guessing he was doing the same job as you previously? It’s fine if you’re happy in the same role but he’s obviously got his sites set higher. Have you called him a young whippersnapper yet?