Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think there's not being attached to your phone, then there's just down right bloody rude

25 replies

Changedusernameforthis2 · 27/05/2025 13:51

Friend at work , really keen to do an event with me and a couple of others. We have talked about it for ages. The time has come to register for it (it's free but controlled numbers) we have sent messages and no reply (she is fine and not abroad) She has form for this. We will go ahead and register /book without her then she will cause a nightmare saying we left her out. She acts like she is pious for not being attached to her phone and we are all a bit inferior. But I'm sorry, its just rude.
Now I know, I will be set upon by posters on here who insist they only have time once a fortnight to even pick up their phone (despite literally typing that on a phone on an Internet forum)
To clarify :
She does not have kids that keep her running around off the phone
She is not unwell
She just ignores messages and then makes a fuss.
Grrrrr rant over

OP posts:
verycloakanddaggers · 27/05/2025 13:53

Have you phoned? I'd phone once, then just book.

If she moans, just shrug. You don't have to give this headspace.

Shoxfordian · 27/05/2025 13:55

She's been told you're booking, so just ignore any drama after - its her fault if she misses the event

TheDandyLion · 27/05/2025 13:56

Give a deadline. If she doesn't respond she knows not to complain about being left out.

Westun · 27/05/2025 13:59

You can try calling and if no answer message to say we are booking on x day or at x time and then the ball is in her court.

Gundogday · 27/05/2025 14:02

If you’ve sent messages and said that you’re going to book on n date, and you need to know whether she’s in or not, then it’s her fault for replying.

Maybe you need to go back and say something to this effect. Ie. . Call her out on it.

mbosnz · 27/05/2025 14:03

I'm terrible for not checking my phone, hell, not even having it charged, but what I miss as a result, is purely on me, and I'm always very apologetic about it.

minipie · 27/05/2025 14:04

Well there are benefits and downsides of not checking your phone much - an obvious downside is you miss out on time sensitive bookings and invitations. It’s her choice, she can’t expect people to wait to book till she deigns to check her phone.

NancySpain1 · 27/05/2025 14:06

I'd also try ringing her. I am a bit attached to my phone 😳, but when I'm trying not to be, I just turn off notifications on apps and then leave it on the other side of the room. So I'd hear it if it rang but nothing else

NewBinBag · 27/05/2025 14:10

If it's free & she's already expressed she's super keen, just book her on?

I don't disagree that it's annoying when people miss time sensitive things - I don't get notifications on my shit phone & miss spontaneous stuff occasionally. My loss.

But the fact it's already been discussed & its not going to cost you anything to add her, does feel a bit 'Fuck you Fiona'.

WorthatryKaren · 27/05/2025 14:11

Give her a phone call. If no reply, after say two attempts, give up and drop her

Changedusernameforthis2 · 27/05/2025 14:20

NewBinBag · 27/05/2025 14:10

If it's free & she's already expressed she's super keen, just book her on?

I don't disagree that it's annoying when people miss time sensitive things - I don't get notifications on my shit phone & miss spontaneous stuff occasionally. My loss.

But the fact it's already been discussed & its not going to cost you anything to add her, does feel a bit 'Fuck you Fiona'.

It's a faff to change the name in this case, so it's free but a faff .
On previous occasions, it's been a paid for ticket, then someone having to.increse the booking g by one, make sure we sit together etc etc...

OP posts:
Changedusernameforthis2 · 27/05/2025 14:21

We have rang her, and given time limits etc
There's nothing really to solve here it's just annoying that she thinks she can just drop out of contact yet still be considered

OP posts:
GlutesthatSalute · 27/05/2025 14:53

Can you book for her? If you really want her company?

It doesn't sound as if you do

Inawhyl · 27/05/2025 14:57

To clarify :
She does not have kids that keep her running around off the phone
She is not unwell
She just ignores messages and then makes a fuss.

All of that is irrelevant IMO, and she or anyone else can choose to ignore their phone for any and every reason. And equally you can also choose to not let her hold you up when you book things.

She has no right or reason to be annoyed if you didn’t wait for her.

I tend to send one or maximum two texts to people like that and if they don’t reply I just move on and make the booking. Very rarely would I call to chase them up on it.

GlutesthatSalute · 27/05/2025 14:58

I took a risk and recently booked time sensitive ballet tickets (there were two left at the good price which was still pretty whopping!) that cost a lot, for me and a friend who is obsessed with the dancer who was taking the lead that night. Couldn't check ad her phone was switched off. I was going to treat her if she couldn't afford it. But she was over the moon and ended up not only reimbursing me for her ticket, but insisted on paying my train fare up and for our dinner.

That's friendship. That's going to see something with someone you like.

You just sound rather anti this person.

andtheworldrollson · 27/05/2025 15:03

Are you expecting a 5 minute response ( unreasonable) or a within the day response ( even my great uncle manages this )

Swiftie1878 · 27/05/2025 15:07

Changedusernameforthis2 · 27/05/2025 14:21

We have rang her, and given time limits etc
There's nothing really to solve here it's just annoying that she thinks she can just drop out of contact yet still be considered

The rest of you should just book, and keep screenshots of your messages to her telling her what you were doing.
If she causes a fuss, just show her the messages and say ‘you were told!’
End of.

DontTouchRoach · 27/05/2025 15:09

YANBU at all. If she wants to ignore her phone, that's up to her, but it's bloody rude of her to then kick off if she misses out on things because she refuses to answer messages about them.

If she doesn't read messages or pick up phone calls, what are people supposed to do to get hold of her? Post her a first-class letter? Send a carrier pigeon? Nail a sign to the parish noticeboard?

WallaceinAnderland · 27/05/2025 15:12

We will go ahead and register /book without her then she will cause a nightmare saying we left her out.

So? How does that actually affect you. What is the 'nightmare' that she will cause?

Mareleine · 27/05/2025 15:16

I think it depends on the timescale.

LoveTheLake525 · 27/05/2025 15:16

It's a free ticket, I don't see the drama?

id just book it & if she can't make it, inform the ticket sellers that you're now a 3 not a 4, if changing the name is too much faff.

if it was a paid for ticket id send final message being clear ' Booking X Wed evening. If you want to come I'll need to know by 5pm Wed or we'll assume you can't make it'

Changedusernameforthis2 · 27/05/2025 15:47

Like I said , we will do all the commonsense stuff. It's just wearing as if we book things, she might leave us lumbered with a faff, if we leave her out despite a good amount of time, we are wrong the other way and have an opposite faff. Just wanted to vent!

OP posts:
MattCauthon · 27/05/2025 15:51

YABU if you are sending a text/call and expect an answer within an hour.

She IBU if you give her 48 hours to respond and she's still not. That's just rude.

If she doesn't want to communicate using her phone, how does she expect you to finalise plans?

TatteredAndTorn · 27/05/2025 19:19

I’m confused. If she’s a work friend why don’t you just speak to her at work?

Also agree that if you know she wants to come, just register her as it’s free. Think you are creating an issue because you don’t like that’s she’s not available at the drop of a hat.

Changedusernameforthis2 · 27/05/2025 19:37

TatteredAndTorn · 27/05/2025 19:19

I’m confused. If she’s a work friend why don’t you just speak to her at work?

Also agree that if you know she wants to come, just register her as it’s free. Think you are creating an issue because you don’t like that’s she’s not available at the drop of a hat.

No not at all. It's a pattern with a lot of events. She's probably done it 3 or 4 times now with various things.
Can't talk at work as we are all off at mo

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page