That I'm annoyed with a parent for no warning about no nappies???

[3725Hayley]

I am a CM who has just had a two year old arrive (I only mind him 1 day a week).

The mum just announced that he is in pants now, but since he started two days ago he has not weed in the potty once, and yesterday he had to be changes 8 times!!!!

The reason I am annoyed is that I had no prior warning of this and I have a really bust day planned (which is the same every week, so not like the mum doesn't know).

I am going to another CM's for playdate, but how can I now, if child will wee all over her house. Also have a swimming lesson in the afternoon for one of the other kids, so means a trip in the car etc.

Clearly not the best day for me to spend potty training!!!! (angry)

The mum also told me clearly that she didn't want him back in nappies, as all the hard work would be undone, so I am stuck with it now.

Well two wee's ON the potty so far..Wooo Hooo!!! I must have the magic touch.

Just need to brave the swim lesson later, so have towels ready for the car journey.

am trying to train dd atm, should i just send her to you for the magic touch! would pay extra!

to the op YANBU but will probably never get that msg across if you are sucessful, bit of a pain that

YANBU, She should've discussed this with you beforehand.

However, she may have had him weeing in the potty at home all weekend and thought he'd be perfectly fine at your house so not realise he was going to pee everywhere.

YANBU to be annoyed- at the lack of provisions- inforgiveable, poor little boy!
But the lack of warning I can understand.
My dd (2.3) decided 4 weeks ago she did NOT want nappies anymore.
And that was it- we did it over the weekend- 2 accidents the first day, 1 accident during the next week, and then none- at all.
BUT the first day at nursery I sent her with 3 spare trousers, 6 spare knickers, 4 pull-ups, and 4 nappies- just to cover ALL eventualities (she's quite a stubborn miss).

I was wondering how CMs manage with this kind of thing.
I'm just starting out doing CM and this would be my nightmare, getting a child who needs potty training.
My dd2 is just over 3yrs old and she is quite good at getting to the potty, but if we go on long trips on the motorway i do put her in pull-up pants as it's too risky to stop on the hard-shoulder.
So YANBU.

Ripeberry, it's fine when you get in the swing of toilet training mindees, you just need to tailor your planning to accomodate potty/be near a loo.

To the OP, YANBU, communication is key to a good working relationship.

I'm training DS 2.6 now, he won;t go on the potty at childminder but I think he will in time, in the meantime we're using pull-ups for him and when (if?!) the weather warms up she says she'll just take trousers and pull-ups off when they're out in the garden.

Wouldn;t dream of sending him in wihtout pull-ups as I had a suspicion it would take him a littel while longer to "perform" for her than me.

Makes me to think about it now, but I did this with nursery - started potty training over a bank holiday w/e and presented DD1 on Tuesday morning in pants. Bet they loved me!

Is it a Child Minder's job to potty train?

no beaniesteve but Ds is there most of the week its a bit difficult for her not to be pretty involved!

YANBU.
But we had the opposite.....our (ex) childminder brought dd2 home minus knickers. Didn't tell us instantly that she (CM) had unilaterally decided to potty train dd2. Within 30 seconds of being home dd2 had done massive wee all over our sofa (which we could not use all night, as it was soaked), and was beside herself with sadness and embarrassment. Major tears and strops. CM then 'remembered' to tell us dd2 was not wearing a nappy, and buggered off leaving us to deal with the situation. DH furious. Me bemused.

It seems kind of sad to me that the mum is asking YOU to do this, because as a working mum, it seemed important to me that I potty-trained my kids myself - it just seemed like one of those little milestones not to miss. We did it during holidays, although there were still wee accidents when they went back to nursery

All part of the service, supporting and working with the family in the best interests of the child

YANBU

If someone else is sharing in the care of a child then something like potty training should be done in conjunction with them - not dumped on them.

Eight accidents in one day suggests to me that the child is simply not ready for potty training yet. What a waste of time, effort and washing powder.

Tell the mum that you don't think he's ready. I dont know how experienced you are as a CM but you could ladle on that you've worked with loads of children and that when they are ready they'll be down to a couple of accidents a day at most and with a little perserverence they'll soon be dry. You could also go on about how much it seems to upset him when he wets himself and how sometimes you (or your colleague CMs) have seen children get really stressed about potty training because its started too early. Say you'll put him in pullups and encourage him to use toilet, wash hands etc. but you don't want him distressed with loads of accidents.

Don't know if that helps but I think its what I'd do

maybe he is a little unsettled; you say he's only just started with you...

ok he sounds v young (unless he's rising 3?)

but it could be that he's much better at home but has regressed a bit at yours because of the change he's experienced in coming to you...maybe you could give it a couple more visits before you judge. Obviously if it continues after weeks then you have to tell the mother that it's making your job impossible on the day you have him but it may not come to that.