Years ago our son broke down sobbing, telling us how his wife treats him - it’s mainly emotional manipulation/ silent treatment / blanking him, almost on a weekly basis, but feels he cannot leave because of the children.
She has extended this behaviour to us as well, and has spoken to us in years.
Previously, when she was giving us the silent treatment, my son would try and smooth things over and would encourage/ beg us to speak to her.
Like a fool, I would try and break the silence and reach out to her and she would be civil for a few months and then start the silent treatment again. This went on for years and it was always the same: I’d have to make the first move to break the silence.
It’s now gotten to the stage where We haven’t spoken DIL in years, despite doing the school runs - mainly picking GC up from school.
I feel it’s partly his fault because he becomes so anxious and afraid when he upsets her that he doesn’t say anything to her. He simply agrees to whatever she wants.
It’s also my fault for insisting we continue with the school runs because it gave us a chance to spend time with DC.
They are now selling their house and moving, and are having a leaving party. My son has asked us to attend, he wants us to try and smooth things over with her again, before the move. I suspect she wants us there to keep up appearances, so people don’t ask questions. My DH has declined the invite and I want to as well. Similar things have happened in the past - she acts friends in front of people but won’t speak to us the next day. My DS thinks this is an olive branch but I don’t think it is.
AIBU to decline?