Clear the air with an ex

[3sausagedogs]

I dated a guy for 2 years. He was sleeping with me and someone else at the start of our relationship, he lied in general throughout our relationship and was generally being immature by going missing while out with friends and drinking too much. Ultimately I couldn’t trust him. We were friends for a long time before we dated and he did support me through my divorce, which was amazing of him! I ended thing’s because I couldn’t trust him and his drinking habits were awful. He was also rude to my son. I had to block him as he bombarded me with messages after we broke up and it was awful. I recently saw him on a dating app and he tried to match with me. I said he could follow me on insta and FB as it’s been 6 years since we split. I would like us to be friends, I even messaged him to say I would like us to clear the air as we were friends for a long time. He replied that he’s seeing someone serious and it’s not appropriate. I get that but it’s very odd that he’s asked to follow me, he watches all my stories within minutes, but I would like the opportunity to clear the air and thank him for his support and be friends. Am I being unreasonable? I feel I have tried to settle my conscience and I do want to be a good person and apologise to anyone I’ve wronged

How did you wrong him? You’ve reached out and he’s said no it’s not appropriate, so move on OP

Why is he trying to match with you on a dating app then? 🤔

I don't think you're being honest with yourself.

Somewhere along the line you still have feelings for him otherwise you wouldn't be telling us how shit he was but that somehow you've 'wronged' him.

Leave well alone, he sounds like an arse.

You've made a fool of yourself telling him he can follow you on your social media.

God knows what the dating app thing was all about, but leave well alone anyway.

It’s odd that he’s tried to match with me, follow me and watch my stories etc I’m happy to move on as I tried to just thank him really for supporting me. If he doesn’t want to hear it fair enough (I’d love a few people to come forward and apologise for anything they done wrong to me) I feel that maybe I wronged him by not trying harder to stay friends after the break up. I was his first girlfriend and he took the end of the relationship badly

He’s not changed very much if he’s on a dating app and trying to match with you but he’s in a relationship. I wouldn’t bother trying to clear the air with him because he’s still the same person he was before.

Why on earth would you want to clear the air and be friends with a lying cheating pisshead that you don’t trust and who was rude to your son?

Delete him from your SM and stop giving him headspace.

It’s been 6 years!

Are you sure he tried to match with you on a dating app?

Because it sounds like he moved on long ago and is quite perplexed about you contacting him now.

I would like us to be friends, I would like to just say thank you to him for supporting me though my divorce, I’m a nice person it’s good to just not hold any feelings or resentments. I’m happy to just be friends. I didn’t ask him to reach out to me and I don’t follow him back on insta, he follows me and watches my stories

He doesn’t want to be friends with you though. Just leave it. If you feel uncomfortable him following you then block him.

Oh and he likely wants to keep you on the back burner incase it doesn’t work out with current gf and he can’t find anyone else on the dating app.

So don’t hold any feelings or resentments, then? Just don’t think about him. It comes across like you miss all his dramatic bullshit.

Just block him and move on with your life. You don't want to be friends with him, he's an arsehole. He says he's in a serious relationship but he's on dating apps? Seriously, get a grip!

"He watches my stories" means nothing. I know it feels personal, but it isn't. I scroll through everyone's stories when I'm bored, and they're all gonna have a tag that I've watched them.

I had an ex who manages to watch all my stories for months, even though I had removed him as a follower. He still made his way to my page and watched my stories every day. Still meant nothing, never spoke to him again.

Drop it OP. He's not interested.

Not holding resentment is one thing, wanting to be friends with someone who lied and cheated 6 years ago is another entirely

It’s nothing to do with being a ‘nice person’ it’s opening up old wounds that need to be left in the past.

I do think you probably still have a thing for this guy and wants attention from him. He’s told you he’s not interested. Don’t make a fool of yourself, delete him as a follower and move on

You're not going to be "friends " - he's an ex, and a pretty shitty person by the sounds of it.

"id like to thank him for support during my divorce" - stop lying to yourself, what difference does it make? in reality?

You'd do better to block him and move on.

He didn't support you. He treated you like shit. He cheated on you, lied to you, was horrible to your son and he's an alcoholic.

Why the fuck would you want to be friends with him? He is so clearly bad news. Have some self respect and block him ffs. He's an absolute cunt.

As well as all that, he was rude enough to your son that has left an impact after all these years.
why on earth would you consider more contact with him? Take a stand for your son.

He doesn't want to be your friend. Forget about him and move on.

You saw him on a dating app but he’s told you that he’s in a serious relationship?

Have you heard of the saying, ‘You are the company you keep’?

Why associate yourself in any shape or form with a man who has no character, is lacking in morals and is a lowlife creep?