What age did it get easier?

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Inspired by another post on here about how many children to have…

I’ve got two boys (2 yr 8 mos and a 7 months old).

I replied to the OP saying it’s really hard having two but it’s what I personally wanted. Someone replied letting me know this is hardest phase. AIBU thinking they are mistaken as I’d been bracing myself for the hardest year being when they’re 1 and 3 years old?

I seem to think a 2 year old boy isn’t that much easier than a 3 year old but from my experience 15 months onwards is really tough, so DC2 is set to get harder and harder. Especially with me returning to work and them facing nursery lurgey this autumn. Was hellish last time around.

Yes they are wonderful and I’m blessed. A lot of the time stressed though. Tell me when being in the trenches ends per se.

Mine are 8 and 10 and for me personally I'd say this has been the easiest stage so far. Both fairly independent in terms of dressing, washing and tidying after themselves ( both are autistic so struggle with all three )

I've been single since my youngest was 8 months old ( no contact with father since then either ) and I found it very difficult meeting both of their needs at the same time when they were younger. We had a lovely time and I have a lot of good memories, but I won't forget how hard some aspects were with a toddler and a baby and a 3/5 year old 😅

I'd do it all over again if I could though x

I found it easier once my youngest turned 3. Both dcs were more independent by that age, toilet trained, sleeping through, more socially aware, verbal and physically able to play independently and safely. I had a 4 year gap though, which meant the early years were more relaxed as I could focus one to one attention on each child when they were babies/toddlers because the eldest was at school.

I have a 2 and 4 year old and I think around 1.5 and 3.5 was my hardest stage. Both could run away/get into mischief and neither could be reasoned with all that much! (eldest does have some SEN though so I'm not sure how much that has featured). The baby stage was actually my easiest, but ds2 was a fantastic sleeper.

My 2 year old is pretty full on (and hilarious) now, but his brother has definitely become easier lately which balances things out.

So far, every stage has had challenges and parts that I've adored. Having a small age gap is definitely hard but it's lovely too.

I found the newborn stage hard each time, mainly due to mental health (I don't do post partum well it seems). After that I've pretty much loved all the stages, even the teenage ones. Parenting adults is a new experience but I am enjoying it

I think having a child at the age where they are incapable of reason, describing how they feel and can’t be left long enough to make a tea is super hard and exhausting. So… the ages you’re at!
However, it depends so so much on the individual child. I have 2 daughters and the younger one is just an easier person to raise at any age, so far. If I hadn’t had my more challenging one first I wouldn’t have coped as well.

9 months to 2.5 years was the hardest, especially with a second child with very different needs/wants. We’re finally coming out the trenches. The challenges are still there, but it’s better IMO.

I have found 1 and 3 easier than 2 and baby, that said my baby walked at 8 months and did not want to sleep (still doesn’t at nearly two). What’s easier is the three year old is more accepting of her sibling and they can play together more and more. And the younger one doesn’t need to be held/ clinging on to my leg constantly anymore so I can give more attention to the eldest.
Nursery bug for the youngest have been terrible but the elder daughter has been much more robust this year!

I think 6 - 10 was reasonably straight forward.

Not needing direct supervision all the time, no big school pressures, some established friendships etc.

Then they start Secondary School and become teenagers and it all starts again but in a different way.

Possibly when they reach about age 20 it gets easier again. I don't know yet though. I might be just wishing for that as we're not there yet.

I will say though OP. The being very little stage is hard work. You won't feel it now but it really does go so fast and the stages just fly past when you start to look back. I wish I'd chilled a little more, worried less about other people's opinions and just enjoyed them being that little a bit more. I'd happily go back to those ages now even knowing how exhausting it is.

I think it's always hard work and a worry, whatever their ages but they do bring joy and love too (at least sometimes).

I'd say, don't expect the same from the second as you did the first. My first got a lot easier from 15 months, he's a joy of a toddler. I found the 8 to 12 month bit hardest with my second. He was so whingy because he was desperate to walk and keep up.

It's a difficult question because it's all challenging.

I have 2 boys coming up to 8 and 10. It's easy in that they can get themselves dressed, teeth, get snacks and drinks and entertain themselves without much input from me. No nappies, toilet training, lugging stuff around in a huge bag, pushchairs.

In some ways it's harder because I'm relying on them to get themselves ready in the mornings but also having to hurry them up and remind them to do xyz.

They either argue and I have to intervene to keep the peace but then they are also best friends and keep each other entertained.

Then there is the next level of giving them some independence by doing things like playing outside, bathing by themselves or learning how to cook. It's very difficult because I would love to wrap them up in cotton wool and protect them forever but one day they need to learn how to be an adult. I'm going to be on edge the first few times they get on a bus to town without me, pass their driving test and drive themselves places but I think that's normal until the new thing becomes normality.

I think actually the hardest bit of parenting children and pre teens is still being responsible for everything from homework, P.E. kits, dinner, clothes, hobbies because it goes on forever and demands so much of my brain. I've always found it hard enough keeping myself organised!!

Babies all had reflux so each first year was hard. Couldn't imagine I'd ever feel ok again but we all came through.

Loved having under 10s.

One of my kids became unmanageable around 15. Years of absolute Hell. Utterly broke me.

Every child is so different, I've got 4 and I found different children had different ages that they were more challenging. , Our youngest 2 are boys 2 years apart, and I'd agree that 1 and 3 was ROUGH. just in terms of that they are both fully mobile but not great at reasoning with haha. It was a hard year. (Also had 2 who were in primary at the time so it was always a juggle) The primary years are pretty chill, then preteens are emotionally a bit more work (and worry). I think people forget how hard things were though to be honest and focus on the best parts.

I agree the challenges change but there is a tipping point when the practicalities get easier.

Generally around the no nappies/no buggy stage. You can just put your coats on and leave the house.

They can reliably feed themselves, start to get themselves dressed etc.

3.5 to 4...

When I could take them out and it was actually fun, without worrying about accidents, nappies, milk, capability to do and understand things etc.

And when I could actually play with them in a way that "made sense", imaginary games, games with rules, games with stories etc.

Less than 1 is exhausting but easy because the child can't do much.

1-3 wast the worst for me.. they are capable of moving and demanding, but can't yet understand and interact propperly.. tiring!

I have three boys aged 12,.10 and 7. Some days are relentless, some days are easy peasy! So many variants, sometimes they get on well, sometimes they could argue about ANYTHING.
My 12 yr old is probably the easiest, but last year he was the most challenging as he was quite unwell with anxiety. So not challenging behaviour wise, but just a big worry for us as parents. Thankfully he is now much better and a delight, most of the time 🤣🤣
Middle one is wild, hilarious but a complete wind up merchant. Likes to be constantly busy!
Youngest very similar to middle one but thinks he's older and constantly tries to be like his big brothers which doesn't always go down well in class 🙈
Over the years they've all brought different challenges but always mixed with plenty of joy to balance it out!
Dreading 17, 15 and 12 year old boys mind 😱😱

Read the room.

I genuinely didn’t find it difficult up to around 12. He slept when he should and did what he was told! I appreciate I was very lucky!

Hes 14 now and he’s still a good lad, no issues at all behaviour wise except being a bit sullen sometimes but the part I find difficult is the allowing independence. ‘Letting go’ just enough to not baby him but protecting him enough. Feeling guilty for letting him stay home alone today while I go to work. My only suggestion for the early teen years is talk talk talk and listen listen listen. It seems to be working. So far.

Undoubtedly the hardest part is giving them freedom. DS15 going into town to the cinema at night with his friends. He is a good kid, (and I know everyone says that but he is!) but the fear is something else! I'll get used to it.