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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Passive aggressive boss

2 replies

wishingyouwell · 26/05/2025 19:05

Work in a team with a big work shirker (not the boss). Takes significant amount of time off each year, refuses to meet deadlines, constantly chatting at work when could be completing work etc. Hasn't been disciplined properly by organisation and part of senior management.
Boss tried to pass on lots of his work during one of his periods off to myself, I agreed as long as some of my existing work was re-allocated. He 'agreed' to this but did nothing to organise this shift. I therefore did not do both lots of work, as a woman especially this expectation from him irritated me greatly. He tried to pressure me on this through the use of group emails but I resisted and he was shocked as I don't think he expected this response. He was looking for yes sir, no sir...
Though he couldn't challenge me further on it as the agreement was documented on email, his behaviour since this has been very passive aggressive. By contrast work shirker who causes him the most amount of chaos is treated with respect. He is slightly senior to him but I find it embarrassing on his behalf. So as not to drip feed, the massive amount of time off is not for any serious reason and this is known to all as the person discusses their reasons quite openly.
Should I bother to challenge behaviour of boss or just move on to somewhere where hard work is respected?

OP posts:
Pipsquiggle · 26/05/2025 19:27

Control what you can control.
Unfortunately that does not include the mood of your manager.
You can ask him how he is as he seems a little withdrawn / a bit down......

Re the work shirker impacting you, you are absolutely right to be very clear with your manager as to the work you will or will not do. Make sure that's in an email.

Most companies have a work shirker who for whatever reason get on - it's absolutely infuriating. Also most people leave their company because of their manager.

Could you get a promotion out of this situation?

wishingyouwell · 26/05/2025 20:09

Thank you @Pipsquiggle yes I could ask for a change of department and applying for a promotion is possible, that would be a shift in another direction I guess and would lessen interaction. Thank you for your response.

OP posts:
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