To wish that I just didn't know what goes into products?

[Pessimist]

I found out today that the car seat we bought 5 months ago for incoming baby is fire retardant so full of carcinogens (some of which increase rates of cancer by 300%). It's too late for us to return it and too expensive for me to replace. A quick Google later, and I find that basically all furniture in the UK produced since 1988 has carcinogens because of the stuff they use to make it fire retardant. Sofas, televisions, everything that isn't 100% natural is out to kill me.

I think I'm posting here because, honestly, it's exhausting now. How does anyone else deal with this? Do you just not know? Or do you just carry on with things knowing there's nothing you can do and it is what it is?

I am frankly fed up with it all. My placenta very likely has microplastics in it. The suncream I use is changing my hormones or blocking or something, and the washing up liquid my parents have used for decades is poisoning the fish that I eat, the talc my parents used to dry me off after a bath every single day probably had asbestos in it. I feel like I'm bringing a child into the world that is desperate to kill them.

I'm being treated for health anxiety, but this is more than just anxiety - I'm actually just fed up of finding it what's in things. Am I the only one? At this point, I'd rather not know. What I don't know can't harm me...

I'd take very small increase in risk of cancer (300% of a small risk is still a small risk) over burning to death in a flammable car seat.

I hear you. It's exhausting and once you know it, you know it and it's impossible to unlearn.

I try not to think about anything I've been doing/my parents did up until the point where I realised all this, and instead try and focus on the things I can change. It's not easy (or cheap!) though. I hadn't even thought about the car seat tbh but I think for my own sanity that will have to go in the 'can't change it' mental bin 🤦‍♀️

All this, and yet we have the largest population of ageing people than we even had before. If all these things are so bad for us, why is the average age of people dying, rising?

Kindly this is your anxiety speaking. Step away from this thread.

Before fire retardants were added to sofas, more people were killed in house first as they spread more quickly. This includes other items too.

change what you can but you can’t sweat things you can’t change

It’s a balance though. A car seat might be involved in a car crash - you wouldn’t want a flammable one.

There are some things I just choose to ignore. Microplastics is one. I try to reduce plastic due to the environment but I really don’t have the energy to start worrying that, for example, my breast milk had micro plastics in it (as does formula so since you can’t not feed a baby, may as well just crack on and not think about it).

I bought an organic plastic free pillow. It came in a plastic bag 😭. Its so depressing

Things that are 100% natural - oxygen, nitrogen, water, the Sun, food, time - are just as likely to get you.

This is your anxiety speaking. I never think or have thought of any of these things.
Babies thrive in countries with zero safety regulations

I feel similar and have just bought the Yuka so. I'm currently focusing on that which is within my control (shampoo/sun cream/soap etc etc) and educating myself on others. I think it's going to be a car off trying to much existing things last as long as possible and then being as considerate about replacements.

After a horrific year long bed bug infestation that cost us over a grand and many pieces of furniture I can't just only buy second hand as can't risk it happening again.

I think it's also due to the awfulness everywhere, we can't fix any of it ourselves so we worry about this kind of stuff instead

This thread is going to make you feel worse because MN is full of very anxious people. You need professional help.

Honestly I relate to this so much, it’s stressful and exhausting. At my worst it feels overwhelming, like what can we do? How is everyone else ok with this? What are we giving our kids? I think this is actually a form of contamination OCD, which is something I also struggle with. It’s ebbs and flows for me, certain things trigger it or make it worse, like learning about a new thing that is apparently bad for us. When I feel particularly overwhelmed and wondering how everyone else is OK, it’s a clear sign for me that anxiety is too high and I’m no longer thinking in a balanced and rationale away. Best thing you can do is to try and dial it down a bit and try make your thoughts more balanced. So yes you can do what you can to avoid biggest risks/most toxic things, or at least try to most of the time, but equally need to accept that moderation is key, life is for living, the majority of people do all these things and worse and are absolutely fine. You could excessively avoid all of this stuff and live a difficult, stressful and miserable life (mainly because anxiety would have taken over and will then start escalating, as anxiety does), so do all of that but then just get hit by a bus before middle age. Alcohol is a Group 1 carcinogen and WHO have deemed there to be no safe amount that you can have. Yet majority of people drink a little to a lot on a regular basis. Moderation is key with everything.
if you continue to struggle and worry about this I would highly recommend speaking to your local talking therapies service as they will be able to offer some advice which will likely be really comforting for you, you get priority if you’re pregnant

I really didn't mean for this thread to be a trigger for anyone, and I am getting help with my anxiety - but I really do feel like I'm the only one sometimes! Obviously would rather not go up in flames, I just know that there are so many things and it is so exhausting finding out about new dangers all the time. I wish there was an "off" switch for stuff like this, where I could choose to ignore them. I'm not writing this from the perspective of spiralling, more exasperation. 🫠

I hope the fact your risk of cancer is less is comforting to you as you're burning to death in an easily preventable fire.

Moronic

This is unnecessarily rude.

Asbestos was widely used because it’s such a good fire retardant. Obviously it’s a balance of risks and you don’t want a flammable car seat, but equally I doubt anyone thinks banning asbestos was stupid because who cares about the cancer risk if you’re dying in a fire.

Yes, I realise the risk from asbestos is much higher. But it’s not true that people accept cancer risks because they reduce fire risk.

Everything in my house is probably cancergenic to one degree or another. I need carpets, a couch, a bed etc so I just put up with it. The same as most of the population.

It feels like everything we like is bad for us.

I don’t worry about it as there is no avoiding it. I concern myself with things I do have control of.

I try and avoid Processed meat. Garden chemicals etc. What will be will be.

@TesChique That's a lovely thing to add, thank you.

It isn't really about fire (although there are plenty of ways to make things fire retardant without resorting to chemicals) more about how you think something is safe, and then it isn't. Over and over and over again. OBVIOUSLY I don't want anyone to die in a fire.

And I know we used to have lead paint and arsenic wallpaper and lots of things that could have killed us. I just find it a bit maddening that you literally think something can't be dangerous, but it is actually killing you a little bit at a time every day. And I just keep hearing about new things that are slowly chipping away at that, and I'd actually just really rather not know now. I want a switch that allows me to not have to weigh up the risk of every single tiny little thing and merrily allow me to carry on with my life.

(And yes, I'm well aware that we are not immortal. And I could be hit by a bus tomorrow.)

Actually, by and large the risk to the general population from asbestos was very low. Put in place and left undisturbed it posed no risk at all. The main issue with it was during the manufacture, those working with it or exposed to the fibres were at risk. It became more of a risk over time because it started to become damaged, and stripped was out in refurbishments. The same is true of things like lead paint. But, we know more about it now, and for most things the risks are much lower.

I don’t know if this will help you, but honestly, the EU and the UK have the highest standards of chemical safety in the world and they’re getting tighter all the time. Exposure to fire retardants in a car seat will not increase your risk of cancer by 30%. And everything is made of chemicals. Your body does not know the difference between a natural chemical or a synthetic one. And everything is harmful at some point, including water - “the dose makes the poison”.