To think there are two kinds of people when you're organising a night or a meal out?

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The ones where the company is what matters and the ones who are most interested in there you're going/what you will eat.

For example, it's my friend's birthday, she wants to go out for dinner. Of course I'd love to go. It doesn't really matter where, there'll be something I can eat on the menu and it's all about the company. I might balk if she chose somewhere very expensive, but other than that I'll be there.

Otoh there are a lot of objections to a chain type restaurant, someone who doesn't like Indian food, someone who "can't" eat fish (there are other things on the menu) and one who won't go unless sea bass is on the menu!

I'm intolerant to garlic and don't really eat meat still don't make a fuss. If I can find something to eat anyone can

I agree in part about the "it's all about the company" but I also object to paying money for crap food i won't enjoy.

Maybe the people being 'fussy' are very limited in money to go out & eat, and just want to be sure they'll enjoy where they do spend their money.

I'm more like you, I'll find something anywhere despite a few health issues,

Totally agree (with the exception of those with peanut allegeries and diagnosed coeliac- not the gluten free by choice folk).

There are some people who just can't understand that sometimes it's not about them but about putting others first. If someone has a problem with everything on a menu, they are the problem).

I see it as spending money on the night out, rather than the food.

I just go wherever never make a fuss even if that means eating a plate of chips at an Indian, i will always find something to eat

oh don’t start me on the “don’t want a chain” restaurant when they have grown up kids who have left home and they go out every weekend vs those who have young children and rarely get a night out and who couldn’t give a toss that’s it a chain because they get to wear a going out top, have a meal cooked for them and adult conversation!

Thing is, with some people if you have dietary requirements you're damned if you do and if you don't. Ask any questions about the food (a must every time before eating even if you have been there before), mention your needs etc and you're classed as a drama llama and attention seeker. Avoid food and just get a drink and you're called out for that - not joining in, attention seeking by not ordering etc. Meals out can be a chore.

You’d love me. I’m the quiet vegetarian who is left disappointed every single meal out (if I'm lucky there is a disgusting fake meat burger and something weird like pumpkin risotto) but I always order, stfu and pay my way. It’s the company and the occasion that matters.

I think people should be flexible in a big group, especially for a birthday, but also I don’t begrudge people not wanting to spend money on something they won’t enjoy.

I'm the opposite, I would rather eat at home and just sit with a drink than have crap food and risk being hungry after.

I dunno. With three kids, I go out for dinner with friends probably once a year (we do other things too).

I used to love eating out so when I get a chance, I’d rather not go to Wetherspoons, pizza express etc. I want to eat exotic, less readily available cuisine.

I love my friends but it’s a special occasion to me so I’d like it to be the best it could be! Having said that, I’m flexible and if birthday girl or the majority of people wanted pizza, I’d also just go with the flow. But I’d probably probe the option of something more “special”

Does it not depend on the company? If I go out with dh and kids then the food is important as it's going to cost more and i want to make sure the kids eat. If it's with friends I rarely see then I know the focus is going to be more on catching up so as long as there is something I can eat, I'd be happy. If it's friends I see on a more regular basis then the food is more important because I also have a budget to balance. So I'm not going to want to go to somewhere very expensive where there is only one option I can eat.

I totally agree OP. I've not eaten meat for over 40 years and have eaten more mushroom stroganoffs with wild rice than you can shake a stick at. I know the food will be crap and go for the company.
And the wine.

Agreed. I will still go, bit of I'm shelling out cash I'd rather it be on something half decent!

I don't like chain restaurants generally speaking (although côte and carluccios can both be pretty good) and I've kind of gone off Indian since starting mounjaro. However I wouldn't say anything and would just let the birthday person/organiser decide.

I did however refuse to go to a techno dance night with a friend for her birthday because I've always found techno music unbearable and even more so now that we're in our 50s.

But it's about the company it's not about the food il grab a mcdonalds or pizza on the way home if I need to

It’s a chore made easier when you can look at menus on line and find a bit of something.

I go to loads of work meals out and will always order something vaguely vegetarian but like someone up thread said, I too can’t stand those fake vegetarian burger type foods.

The last offering was half a head of cauliflower on a bed of crunchy couscous because it had been under a heat lamp for an hour is inedible. I fucking hate cauliflower but I’m also not eating a shin of beef either which was all there was on a set menu.

Thank god for dinner rolls and butter.

Tend to eat before I go anywhere and just have a drink if I can get away with it, if not then it’s whatever is the cheapest smallest shite dish there is so I don’t feel too guilty leaving the whole thing untouched. I push it around a bit to make it look like I’ve had a go.

I struggle and only because I’m veggie. When 99% of the workforce is not, they choose the venues and I have to just get through.
I often leave these things hungry, hence eating before I go.

Can’t you have both? Enjoy each other’s company and eat lovely food? Maybe we are just blessed with lots of great restaurants, but we’ve not had an issue finding somewhere exciting to eat. My friends are also considerate to those who can’t eat certain foods, it’s never been a big deal.

But if you're going to spend money on a night out, why would you not go somewhere with nice food?

Unless someone has severe allergies, and there's a veggie/vegan options for those who want it, anyone who moans about someone's birthday restaurant choice is being very unreasonable. If you really don't like the food, don't go.

I'm vegan so it can be slim pickings for me sometimes, but it's one night and I'll deal with it. If my friend wanted to have their bday at a steak house, I'd get on with it, and would expect friends to do the same for me if I picked a vegan restaurant 🤷

So true. And it really irritates me (specific dietary requirements aside, obviously) when people make it all about the food. It's just food as far as I'm concerned. I go out with friends to enjoy their company, not stuff my face, and provided there's something on the menu I can eat (i.e. always), I'm happy. I do accept it's harder for people with special dietary requirements, though.

Because rhe birthday girl has chosen something she likes...

If I don't eat at the mealtime I'm just going to be hungry and won't enjoy the evening. I need to eat beforehand if I'm not going to eat at the actual meal.

If a friend (whose birthday it was) chose a place then I'd just go but if it's, say, a work colleague / work outing or there's a discussion about it then it may seem the time for people to raise any objections or preferences.