Only one day!!!

[bellx]

It’s my sons 7th birthday on Wednesday and I’ve been planning it for ages, we’re doing a little party for him and his friends about 10 boys in total plus the parents and my immediate family.

I’m a single mum so I have planned and sorted out everything and want it to be perfect for him. I just rang my sister to say I feel unprepared and I feel like Iv forgotten something and her response was ‘oh it’s only one day’ as in it’s only one day why are you making such a big deal out of it. It’s just left me in a horrible mood and feel like no one understands that for me and my son it is a big deal.

AIBU to feel like she was out of order?

I think for anyone organising a party, especially for our kids, we want everything to be perfect! They’re our babies and we want the fruits of our Labour to be perfect - I’m exactly the same! But, it is only one day!

Your son is going to have a fantastic birthday/party even if you have forgotten something or something isn’t perfect, because, kindly, he’s 7 and to a 7 year old any sort of party where his little friends are there is going to be immense for him! Relax, you’ve done all your prep and anything left out really won’t matter!

Well she is right to be fair…
She maybe worded it a bit insensitively but she probably meant he’s sure to have an amazing day anyway even if you forget something small. It really doesn’t have to be perfect.

I think she was probably trying to calm your anxieties, not belittle you or your son, or imply that his birthday isn’t important.

Don’t add this into the mix as something to get het up about before the party.

I hope the day goes well for you and your DS!

Ahh it sounds as though she's just trying to reassure you it'll be fine OP.

She could have worded it more sympathetically, but she’s right. You winding yourself up in a heightened state of tension and ringing your sister to panic about having forgotten something that will detract from the planned ‘perfection’ suggests you’ve got this waaay out of proportion. She’s trying to stop you from bursting into tears because the banner isn’t straight, or one of the boys pukes on the rug while you’re singing happy birthday. Kids’ parties are chaos. He’ll have a great time regardless, but you’ll have a better time if you’re not this wound up.

(I have also learned along the way that when someone ‘reassures’ me in a way I find a bit short or dismissive, they are gently trying to signal that they are not prepared to indulge my anxious spiralling any longer. It doesn’t feel great, but I take it as my sign that I’m probably in a perfectionist worry-rut and just need to pull my socks up and get on with it)