SA trigger warning - Where can I get urgent mental health help

[offnick]

Hi I am looking for urgent mental health help as I think I am in crises. A few days ago my mum told me that a man who assaulted me when I was younger died it has brought back everything from my childhood worst is the pain she has caused me by never believing me.
I have struggled so much this weekend including to parent my teen and I didnt handle a situation so well and I shouted and said she needed to stay at her dads as I couldn't take it. She then called my mum who immediately turned against me I ended up outside in the car with my teenager shouting I'm a shit mum and this so why no one (her and my mum) liked me. This is how my mum used to treat me.
I have kept it calm for my daughter but I just can't cope or manager with this anymore. I feel like I can't go on but I don't know where to go for suport anymore I don't want to just be rold to have a bath and a walk I don't really know what I want but I do know I am struggling to keep going

999 or get yourself to A&E. Most Trusts have crisis lines but it sounds like you need more immediate support.

I can't leave my daughter though I have no one to have her and she will get scared if there are people rojnd hwre

Are you in the UK?
https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/mental-health-services/where-to-get-urgent-help-for-mental-health/

Ring 111,then choose the mental health option

Try Samaritans? Even if you aren't thinking of self harming they will be able to talk to you and signpost you.

Agree hospital even 111 as they have a crisis department.
But please don't just ignore this crisis. You obviously need help and support in dealing with trauma.
Be open to help and remember to be honest and talk.
Your family may not understand your reaction. but do not feel guilty or upset as this is a reaction to past trauma.

She will be more scared if you don't get help and things escalate. How old is she? Please prioritise yourself

If she was going to go to her dad’s is that not still an option? I’m so sorry for your struggles 💐

Sometimes you need to put yourself first, looking after yourself will also benefit her as well. Is there anyone at all that can look after her?

She won't go to her dads I don't have any family really I'm scared if I tell people they will take her off me and she will be scared and miserable

I’m so sorry this happened to you, OP. I believe you.

As a PP has said, Samaritans will listen non-judgementally and can signpost to further help. 111 MH option is also a good idea. Book an appointment with your GP for help in the longer term too.

Also longer term, when things have settled down it’s worth having a calm, honest discussion with your DD about all this. Good luck, and remember this will pass 💐

111 option 2. Also worth looking at one of the rape and sexual abuse charities iv used them in the past and they've been really good and don't have long waiting lists.

She will not be taken off you because of a crisis. You will get the support you need. I know its scary but please seek help. It proves you ARE a good mother as you are aware you need help.

I agree with pps you need help to get through this. I was in a similar situation when I finally faced up to csa by my older brother, I was lucky though - my DH is a great listener.
Something that really helped me was rattling my thoughts out onto the PC. I actually had an overwhelming urge to stab my brother repeatedly , but he wasn't there whereas my DS was - I remember screaming at him to get out for his own safety. I channeled all my rage into a document on the PC, and it helped me get it out of my head. It was a jumbled mess that only I could understand but once I put each thought onto the PC it stopped tormenting me. It also made me feel like I was doing something.

It's worth a try while you're waiting for help.

Does your daughter have a best friend whose house she can go to today? Just tell the friend's parents you've got an emergency to deal with. It's up to you to how much you tell them, but get your daughter somewhere safe then get yourself somewhere safe too.

If you are at immediate risk of self harm, go to A&E, they will keep you safe until a plan can be made to help you properly and long-term.

And you aren't hated by your daughter, she's just lashing out because she's scared and doesn't understand what you are going through.

Don't go to A and E, the 111 support option has been set up to prevent that.