in a muddle

[Manfreglory]

I live in N America but am British and I've come over to look after my sick father. When I left Canada to come here, my closest friend said: 'I wish I could be there with you, but I'm always in your phone' - which was very reassuring. But now I'm here, she takes at least a week to reply to my messages. It makes me feel muddled, because I want more but am afraid to make a fuss. I'm a bit lonely and miss my daughter back in Canada. I need this friend's support but she's just not really there. AIBU if I send her a message like this:

'I'm going to retreat a bit while I am here because I find myself wanting more from you, and it would be easier for me not to be waiting so long for your replies'.

...or something? Am I being a passive aggressive nightmare if I do this? Or is it self preservation?

don’t send the message. Hugs; it’s hard where you are.

How old is your daughter? Can you message or call her directly if you’re missing her?

Really sorry about your father x

Don't send the message OP, bad plan!

YABU.

Sorry OP, she’s not there to support you but she already knows that, you don’t have to send her a message to tell her. You’re only hoping for her to either start being there for you due to guilt or to have a snappy back and forth with her because you’re stressed and want an outlet.

Just stop sending her messages and focus on what’s important.

super helpful. needed it confirmed. thank you!

Yeah, she’s really not your friend. Move on. I know it hard but sometimes you just have to let them go.

Don't message. I know it's hard but just quietly step back. Might be the time zones, might be they have stuff going on too, might be they're not really there for you. Don't open yourself up to hurt.