7 year old won’t tell me what she plays with friend

[Isitbathorbarth]

Dd, almost 7 has a neighbourhood friend she plays with at weekends, he comes to our house and she goes to their house. Recently when I ask her what they placed (just general conversation/interest in her life) she says she doesn’t want to tell me what she plays and wants me to stop always asking, she gets quite cross.

Am I being too pushy, why not tell me?

She did get a bit cross and said why do I have to tell you every single thing (like a teenager!) that’s why i’m not sure if she doesn’t remember/can’t be bothered being quizzed and i’m being ott
I will try what you do 🙏

I think you have to either trust unsupervised play dates or go with him to be honest. Since you already told him you don’t approve of how he plays he’s probably either trying not to make you upset or honestly can’t really answer because they just faffed around playing many things simultaneously. My kids can hardly ever tell me exactly what happened at a play date and from watching their friends here I can’t imagine anyone can say exactly what happens at mine.

jeez - her! You were super clear you have a daughter so no idea why I can’t read.

I can't see the problem if it's not to do with concerns for adults that may be around.
If you trust the people supervising them surely kids just do imaginative play that isn't that easy to describe. It probably makes no sense but is fun for them. You don't need to know exactly 'what' they play.

None of mine would ever say what they’d done at school all day. We used to joke they’d had their memories wiped as they left the classroom. Some kids talk, others don’t.

Is she normally very chatty and open about what she's been doing? How well do you know the family of her little friend? It's certainly possible that she thinks you'd disapprove of them playing with guns/fighting or looking at stuff on the computer. If you're friendly with the mum, why not have a chat with her and say DD got quite cross when you asked what they played and see what she says?

Sounds just like DGD, when did 7 year old get so sassy!🤣🤣

They play at your house. Surely you see what they are doing?

I read ‘my 6 year old DGS used to be making potions with his wee’ and thought well that explains why he didn’t tell you 😂😂

That’s probably it, then.

I don’t think you can stop your child from playing with an imaginary gun or play-fighting. You don’t have to buy them toy guns but you can’t really police kids’ imaginations.

I can remember disliking being asked about this sort of thing when I was a kid. I didn’t mind saying what I’d done at school, but I didn’t like telling adults about any imaginative games I played. I think I just felt irritated to be questioned about something I considered was none of their business.

I was pretty imaginative as a kid and my games revolved around this pretty rich fantasy world - didn't like to share it with adults just because I thought they'd think it was silly or something. Can't remember if this had its roots in anyone actually calling me silly or similar. But it was nothing bad.