AIBU to think it isn't fair for school to ban skirts and dresses

[helloall987]

My kids attend an all through school they start at 4 in reception and it goes up to 18. There is a primary and a secondary site.

From September they have changed their uniform to trousers and shorts so no school dresses, skirts or pinafores allowed. All children boys and girls to wear black trousers or shorts. No school shoes either just black trainers. The two reasons they cite are modesty and a gender neutral approach so there is no distinction between girls and boys. This is for primary and secondary school pupils. My DD loves wearing pinafores and patent school shoes. I just think think that with this policy the idea of "feminity" is being taken away.

Most parents think it is a great idea but there are a few of us who want to contest it.

The worlds gone mad

They are definitely not worried about their skirts flying up. The majority of girls in my school pretty much have their pants showing already as they roll them up.

"Is it surprising to you that teenage girls and boys have different shapes, and that there might be more choice and fit for boys’ trousers than for girls?"

This is a surprising thing to say seeing as practically every clothing shop you go in the girls/ women section is about 3x bigger than boy's/men.

I doubt that as they’ll be wearing shorts under their skirts.

But if your school want uniform then they need to grow a pair and tell the girls to unroll their skirts and have the backbone to override any wailing on this issue from both girls and their parents.

Nobody is doing that. That’s in your head alone.

But underwear is underwear, not outerwear. I don’t want to see anyone’s underwear, be they male or female.

You can’t see underwear if girls are wearing tights or a pair of cycling shorts under 🤷🏻‍♀️

But they don't in secondary in primary they might so "they can do cartwheels" in my local secondary a girl got sent home because she was wearing a thong how did the whole world know? Because she rolled her skirt up she (the mother) slammed the school all over Facebook for shaming her daughter didnt like the responses from the locals telling her they didn't want to see her daughters undies (everyone is a pervert apparently) they left the school over this its stupid disruption in education over a skirt shouldn't be happening I can completely understand why schools have had enough and have said fuck it trousers only

There does seem to be quite a difference on whether the girls are primary or secondary school aged across the comments on here 🤔

It's funny how once upon a time we all wore skirts/ dresses. Then someone invented trousers and said women couldn't wear them, because they showed women's legs too much and weren't modest. So women had to fight to wear them. And now people are arguing that girls should be allowed to wear skirts because they should be allowed to feminine. Why do any of us need to 'look' feminine? Or 'masculine'? Why can't trousers or shorts be the default because, in many cases, they're just better?

Back to my earlier comment about wearing tiny, tiny skirts in 6th form. And Yr 11, to be fair. Why did I wear such a short skirt? Because I had great legs and i wanted people (men) to see them. Did I make that decision all by myself? Of course I didn't. I grew up in the 80s and 90s. I wanted to be seen as attractive and the message i got was that short skirt = attractive. Am I happy that my dd wears her skirt so short? No. Especially because she's younger than I was when I started doing it. She refuses to wear trousers because none of the other girls do. Can I stop her? Sadly not. My advice falls on deaf ears.

Why do any of us need to 'look' feminine? Or 'masculine'? Why can't trousers or shorts be the default because, in many cases, they're just better?

They're not better- and you're happy to deny the choice to girls who don't find them better.

It's not just the underwear - skirts lessen physical activity as they ate not conducive to easy movement. They getting tangled around the legs and go up over your head etc. Hence athletes generally don't wear skirts. Tennis and netball are the outliers and more to do with the history of being "ladylike" in those sports.

I'm all for it if it stops parents dressing girls in clothes and shoes that limit play.

Unless they're wearing shorts under a dress/skirt (in which case they might as well be wearing shorts anyway), children can't play as freely. They have to think about keeping their skirt down instead of scoring a goal, practicing gymnastics, or winning a race.

Shoes marketed at girls are rarely as comfortable or durable as those made for boys either. Wouldn't you rather your daughter could run around freely than look pretty in patented shoes?

@helloall987 now we have to hide the fact we are females ?really. .
Id say no way and ask how they can justify this ?

You see, my DD disproves this. She out climbs boys 3 years older than her at the park whilst still rocking a skirt or dress. She was confidently riding a bike aged 3 without ever needing stabilisers in her preferred skirts and dresses. They don’t limit her at all. A girl can be both very feminine and super sporty you know 😊

"But if your school want uniform then they need to grow a pair and tell the girls to unroll their skirts and have the backbone to override any wailing on this issue from both girls and their parents."

Schools do not "lack backbone" on this. Pupils will roll them back up as soon as they leave the classroom and need reminding by the next teacher. Then a great many parents will be unsupportive and call up to complain about their daughter having a detention because they don't agree with this rule or "we shouldn't be "sexualising" girls, or should be telling me the "boys to control themselves" instead etc.

Teachers have enough to deal with already.

Far easier and less sexist for boys and girls to just be allowed trousers...

Why do you keep using ‘gender’ instead of ‘sex’?

Because I can. Also because any trans girls who’s sex is different to their gender will be subject to the same policy. It’s called being inclusive.

“Hide the fact we’re female” 🤣🤣🤣
Because a girl wearing trousers is completely unrecognisable as female. If you have daughters how do you cope when they put on a pair of joggers and come down for brekkie in the morning? “Aaaaah there’s a strange boy in my house!” Or are trousers not allowed in your house?

Grow up

What a load of nonsense. They can wear PE clothes to do PE. And skirts and dresses don't restrict playground activity.

Not all girls are what you describe as “feminine” and not all feel comfortable wearing skirts.

Well isn't it good that nobody has suggested all girls should wear skirts.

Skirts are now very popular for hiking etc. Just google hiking skirt.They really dont limit activity, particularly if you wear the skort type.

Girls can be feminine wearing jeans or leggings. Look around and out of school hours the majority of girls will be wearing jeans or leggings. Both DS and DD wore jeans, their choice, almost every day for school between the ages of 4-18. It was rare to see anyone wearing a dress or skirt to school.

Our child’s (private) junior school has changed from girls in skirts / boys in shorts to everyone in jogging bottoms and trainers. There has been massive pushback mainly based on feelings that the uniform didn’t look aspirational (I.e. posh) enough. Hahahaha. Made me laugh. People thinking their little darlings are pash to wear tracksuits.

Great come back 👌