Letting a 3yr old use the 18m and under section in a soft play. play centre when no

[SaintNoMountainHighEnough]

Throwing this one to the Mumsnet hivemind.

As the title says, at a soft play, no children under 18 months about, my three year old starts playing in there. I let her get on with it. While supervising.

A little baby arrives, I take her out.

AIBU not sticking to the law and letter of this?

Do you mean no children older then 18 months allowed in?

Absolutely fine. What I dislike is much older DC in the baby bits. My DS was 15months at the time and a 7YO kept pushing him over and not letting him on the equipment. Although I see this as more of a parent problem than the child's problem, they sat doing nothing the whole time.

There is no 'rule' that says 'older children may never come in here under any circumstances'.

There is also a rule that children under a certain ago shouldn't go on some of the larger pieces of equipment yet I did take her on them when there were no older children on them. It's amazing how you can be aware of your surroundings and assess things for yourself outside of what a sign says.

I take take the exact same approach OP - you cannot keep the bigger ones out, mine always want in! And when they were tiny, wanted in the bigger bit 😂

I think that’s fine. I have a baby under 18m and would just go over to the area if I wanted to use it even if older kids were in there, and have a word with any older kids who were being inappropriate. I have done this many times and they are usually so shocked to be asked to calm down/leave by another parent that they disappear straight away! (I’m talking primary aged kids who are usually unaccompanied not toddlers.) I also have a 6 year old and I let her come in with us if it’s quiet and she’s playing with/near her brother and calmly. As soon as she gets too excited or other babies arrive or I’m taking the baby out, she leaves too.

Quite a few I’ve been to only have a ball pit in the baby bit which is infuriating as even 11 year olds love those!

What you did was fine. 3 year olds are still little and may be intimidated by the older kids area. I remember going to places like that when I had, say, a 1 yr old and 4 yr old and I’d let my 4 yr old come in with us in the younger section sometimes if it was very quiet, because he wanted to play with his brother. No sensible person would have an issue with a well behaved 3 year old in that section. The guidelines are try to and prevent unruly older kids trashing the baby sections.

Your thread title doesn't make sense.

As long as the 3yo leaves willingly when a baby arrives, but if they find something that grabs their attention you don't want a battle on your hands!

You're correct it is a parent problem, but like others replying if it's fine to do so at 3 years old they've probably been doing the same for years and see no problem doing exactly the same now their DC is 7.

Clearly if the mother said nothing she's either not to bothered about other people's DC or has come up through the ranks of having parents think it's fine to ignore requests re ages and is following suit.

You either stick to the establishments request or you don't, if you don't you can't complain when others are doing exactly the same as you're doing/have done.

No, I messed that up somewhat.

What really annoys me is the lumbering parents who sit themselves down and get in the way of the smaller children.

Parents should be considerate and perch to the side of the area so the babies can still move around freely.

It depends on the child and the situation. By default I wouldn't let them unless they can understand when they can/cannot go in that area at certain times.

In that situation at soft play, I wouldn't let my 3yo or 2yo go in the baby area. First I don't want to put off you get kids/their parents - they don't know you will remove your older child if they come. And my kids would probably try to run back there at times they shouldn't.

But in different situations, e.g. running up the slides, they understand they can only do it when there are no other children on the playground so I let them when it's empty.

Except that OP said there was a sign saying under 18 months only so that is clearly a rule. It didn’t sound like there were any specified exceptions either otherwise they’d have been mentioned.

It’s amazing how many parents are happy to ignore rules put in place for the benefit of others when it suits them, and also teach their kids it’s fine to ignore rules when they feel like it. That might come back and bite.

Nobody is advocating for ignoring a rule that benefits others when the others are there to benefit from it, so 'ignoring rules when they feel like it' doesn't apply. I'm very much in favour of raising children to have a functioning brain and to be able to assess situations and the usefulness of rules at any given time.

It’s not something to loose sleep over especially as you took her out when a baby arrived.

@Shatteredallthetimelatelyyou are 100% right. However, I do see a huge difference between the ages of 3 and 7. Maybe that's just me.

I’m not teaching my children that rules don’t apply to them but to be considerate of others. A PP gave the example of
climbing up the slide. Fine to do it if no one else is using the slide; not fine if others are waiting to come
down. Similarly with the swings - you can have as long as you want if there is no one else waiting but, if there is, you have a shorter go - and sometimes that means that you get off the swing to give someone else a go even if the person on the other swing was on there before you got on and isn’t getting off.
I think my kids are doing OK in this regard. They’ll come back from the skate park or the ball court having not used them as there were “little kids” there. They could easily go on and take over the area but they don’t.

Why can’t you just not do it? It’s so simple just to use the areas designated for your child’s age group.

Not sure everyone thinks climbing up slides with mucky shoes is fine

Playgrounds in general are mucky and children should be able to play freely without adult intervention unless their play is dangerous or inconsiderate. Stopping a child using the play equipment in the way they want to (e.g. climbing up a side) if there's no particular reason for it (no safety risk, no one sliding down) is micromanaging.

If it’s specifically for babies and young toddlers then probably not ok unless it’s empty. It’s more difficult when it’s attached to soft play for older children as it’s hard to monitor if a child goes in to the baby bit who they actually belong to. Lots of parents sit and chat or on their phones and don’t watch their children.