Overcome fear of flying

[misssunshine4040]

I’ve got a work trip to Japan coming up in the autumn. It’s compulsory, and there’s no real way for me to get out of it (at least officially).

Thing is, I was diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder about three years ago after a really tough time, and I haven’t been on a flight in years. I also have asthma, which really ramps up the anxiety. I can often talk myself down from the anxious thoughts, but the physical symptoms — tight chest, shortness of breath — make me panic that I’m about to have an asthma attack. Then of course that just makes the anxiety spiral even more.

My biggest fear is having a full-on asthma attack mid-flight with no way to get off or control the situation. The idea of being stuck on a long-haul flight is absolutely freaking me out.

Would I be completely unreasonable to come up with a reason closer to the time and pull out? Or do I try to face it — and if so, how? I really don’t want to make a fuss or draw attention to myself in front of senior colleagues. Just feeling a bit trapped and unsure what to do.

Japan is great - I’d extend it and have a holiday.

You can do a fear of flying course - you take a short flight and come back to the airport - I’d do that, plus build up some techniques and have your asthma meds with you so you don’t have to worry about that.

I think the thing with anxiety is to treat it respectfully, but don’t give into it ultimately - or eventually your life will shrink to nothing.

You can ask for some diazepam or propranolol for the flight to help you stay calm? From your GP. Really emphasise your anxiety and fears when you go to your GP appt to ask. Don’t hold back or try to sound brave!

Get some Diazepam

I sat next to a pilot one day and I will never forget what he said to me.

"I want to get there safely just as much as you do".

I lost my fear of flying after that.

I fnd it extraordinary that in this day of zoom etc work places are flying their staff all over.

Just ring in sick nearer the time, absolutely no need to put yourself through it for work. Totally understand your fear, you aren't scared of the fight you're scared of having an asthma attack mid long haul fight which is understandable.

I would imagine all pilots want that.

This is tricky because it doesn't sound like your fear of flying is around safety, which is what most fear of flying courses/books focus on (or have I misunderstood?)

Could you speak to your asthma nurse about it and check all your medication is right for you? I don't know much about asthma but are there any additional medications you could have with you that would help you feel more confident? I know Asthma UK have a helpline staffed by asthma nurses who might be able to offer some advice. https://www.asthmaandlung.org.uk

Do you have medication for your anxiety? Or for the asthma?

I can see the point some pps are making about not putting yourself through the stress of the flight, but I'd also say be wary of letting anxiety ruin the opportunities that are out there.

Looking into managing the fear of flying is useful. Even if you don't go on this trip, you might be able to manage a shorter flight.

'I can see the point some pps are making about not putting yourself through the stress of the flight, but I'd also say be wary of letting anxiety ruin the opportunities that are out there.'

I agree but a flight to Japan for work is absolutely unnecessary whatever the bosses might think. The time to face your fears is for more important things.

No wish to know what the OP does but not all jobs and lines of work can be "zoomed"..when I was in the flying industry you'd occasionally run into people, some well known, who absolutely had to fly to make a living but feared and hated it (e.g. some sports persons)..

The standard advice these days seems to be try and get on one of the fear of flying courses..

Hypnosis/hypnotherapy is very good for resolving fear of flying.

If you have asthma please don't use propranolol or any other beta blockers - it can make asthma worse and block the receptors that ventolin / salbutamol target to relieve asthma.

I did a fear of flying course about 10 years ago. It did make a difference and I was really surprised at the range of fears people had. We were divided into tables of 8 with a leader, and some of the fears were quite alien to me, which made me put my own into proportion. Every fear was taken seriously.

They took us through safety, the training flight attendants undergo (on major airlines - less relevant for Ryanair I imagine!), and why planes make particular noises/movements.

We then learned a range of different calming techniques, and were very clear that not all would work for everyone. The final part was a flight.

It did help a lot, but I still don't like to fly. The bits that I hated most are less scary (changes in flight angles), and I could fly if I needed to.

A friend of mine has always had a fear of flying. She did the "fear of flying" course several years ago, but it didn't help much. However, she recently had just one hypnotherapy session and it's worked wonders! Not only has she lost her fear of flying, but she's also a lot less anxious in general.

My first question would be, do you think your fear of flying is holding you back in any way? If it wasn’t for the work trip, would it even bother you if you never got on a plane again? If your answer is no, then I would cancel and not go (I can’t see how work trips abroad can be compulsory these days!)

If you think it is holding you back, and you really want to overcome your fear that’s different. Excellent suggestions already - medication isn’t a bad shout. Even if you go for herbal remedies such as calms or CBD oil. Other than that, the best way to get over your fear of flying is to fly!
Can you afford to take a trip somewhere closer before then? I don’t know where you live and assume you’re in the UK so Dublin, Belfast, Edinburgh (depending on where you live of course!) or Belgium. You can do day trips these days on planes.

To add, I have a friend that used to be terrified of flying. I think it was the claustrophobia and the anxiety of it. She’s since been abroad several times a year and is completely over it

Thanks for the responses. It’s definitely the fear of an asthma attack mid flight and that I won’t respond to medication.
Irrational and unlikely but the mere possibility is driving my anxiety.
I know that flights are the safest form of transportation but the claustrophobia and no way of getting off for hours on end is making break out in a sweat which is turn sets off a tight chest.

I manage my anxiety quite well at on the whole and don’t take medication but travelling does seem to exacerbate it.
I travel the Uk a fair bit for work and have often had panic attacks on a long train journey that I have had to manage but I can always tell myself I can get off at the next stop, I can’t do that on a flight

May not be "necessary" as such, although how any of us would know that I don't know but doesn't look too good not doing a compulsory part of your job. If OP is willing to risk no promotion, demotion or sacked then just don't go. Otherwise look at ways to cope

I find these courses bizarre, we know all the safety procedures in the world won't help in certain situations.

It'd be like being scared of being in a road crash and someone showing you how cars work and driving you down the street. What's the point?

To be scared of having an asthma attack mid flight is a very real and valid concern one that the op's line manager should take into consideration. If they aren't the supportive type then sick leave is fine imo.

Contact easyJet about their fear of flying course. I have just taken it, and I have since been on three flights, with two more booked. And I hadn’t flown for 18 years!!

anti-abxiety meds may also help, since your fear is more medical than of flying, per se.

But it would be good for you to learn to handle the symptoms of a panic attack, as this will make your overall life much better. Are you having counselling or other talking therapies? Do you have any coping strategies?

The fear of flying courses are good, but your fear is more specific and has the element of asthma management. I would try hypnotherapy, it’s amazing.

Also can vouch for how helpful the nurses are at Asthma and Lung UK. We’ve rung a couple of times about DH (severe asthma), and they’ve been brilliant. So kind and what they don’t know about asthma isn’t worth knowing. They really helped us push the GP to get DH referred to biologics, when he’d been fobbed off repeatedly beforehand.

I would take something to relax you, if it’s a night flight maybe a sleeping pill? I really feel for you as my dh also has all three.. generalised anxiety disorder, asthma and and fear of flying. He doesn’t want to restrict his life by not flying so pushes himself (I don’t make him). He starts feeling anxious days before the flight. He doesn’t want to take medication.

I feel as if I may as well be sponsored but the SOAR programme by Cpt Tom Bunn was a game changer for me. I listened to the audiobook. Did the strategies and it absolutely worked. It’s evidence based and has all helped me with anxiety in other situations.

I should say I was utterly terrified before I did it and would avoid flying as much as possible

@Gloriia

I find these courses bizarre, we know all the safety procedures in the world won't help in certain situations.It'd be like being scared of being in a road crash and someone showing you how cars work and driving you down the street. What's the point?

I think the point is different strategies work for different people.Some find assurance in the stats but other peoples eyes glaze over at mention of risk levels, 1 in 109, 1012 or whatever. There's definitely a cohort who are reassured when they know "whats causing that noise" so like the techy details about things like speedbrake and undercarriage, then there's the cohort for whom hypnotherpy is a solution...Different strokes I guess...