Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Family Betrayal

10 replies

TimeToReEvaluate · 25/05/2025 00:47

Off the back of a previous post that didn't get much traffic, I've decided to begin distancing myself from my family following an altercation with my brother. He said some nasty things totally unprovoked, and I've now found out they've all had a family day together with me and my family. My brother is a bit of a scumbag and untrustworthy, he is the only sibling that doesn't have a set of keys to my parents house, he sold all my sisters gold one year when we were teens, stolen money etc. He's also beeged my parents for money numerous times, hasnt worked for 10 years, the list goes in. So I can't understand why they expect us both to apologise to each other, when he started the altercation. And then to find out they where all playing happy families today absolutely disgusts me. I'm just thinking of going NC for a while, because I'm finding the cowardice in calling him out on his bs annoying and stupid. I don't want to be around any of them, especially my oldest sister who witnessed everything and is still sitting there acting like it's a shame. It's not a shame, he's a scumbag. Grow a back bone and call him out on it. Anyone else gone NC with family for a while? It will be hard on the little ones, but honestly, I dont want them thinking being passive and mute is a must just because it's family or friends. Call out people's bs.

OP posts:
TrolleySong · 25/05/2025 00:52

It’s up to you, obviously, but your family members get to decide for themselves whether they maintain a relationship with your brother, and/or have forgiven him. Would you have wanted to go on this family day out if you’d been invited?

TimeToReEvaluate · 25/05/2025 00:56

TrolleySong · 25/05/2025 00:52

It’s up to you, obviously, but your family members get to decide for themselves whether they maintain a relationship with your brother, and/or have forgiven him. Would you have wanted to go on this family day out if you’d been invited?

Very much so. The kids where all together, which my little ones love. It would be the norm for us. But I simply wasn't informed.

OP posts:
TrolleySong · 25/05/2025 00:57

TimeToReEvaluate · 25/05/2025 00:56

Very much so. The kids where all together, which my little ones love. It would be the norm for us. But I simply wasn't informed.

But with your ‘scumbag’ brother with whom you had a nasty altercation last time you saw him?

TimeToReEvaluate · 25/05/2025 01:12

TrolleySong · 25/05/2025 00:57

But with your ‘scumbag’ brother with whom you had a nasty altercation last time you saw him?

If they'd invited him and he turned up, I can't control that. I don't have to interact or acknowledge him. But to have him around over me, considering the whole thing, makes no sense to me. It's like disrespect towards me or anyone else in the family from him is generally over looked. But it's ok, because he will inevitably do something else soon as he always does and they can enjoy whatever it is together. I'm seeing myself out for the time being.

OP posts:
Poppyseeds79 · 25/05/2025 01:14

Just tell them you're not popping along as he's a robbing fucking bastard. Job done 😊

MatLeave · 25/05/2025 01:18

They're probably intimidated by him, he sounds terrible. Best to distance yourself until they get the backbone to deal with him.

TrolleySong · 25/05/2025 01:21

TimeToReEvaluate · 25/05/2025 01:12

If they'd invited him and he turned up, I can't control that. I don't have to interact or acknowledge him. But to have him around over me, considering the whole thing, makes no sense to me. It's like disrespect towards me or anyone else in the family from him is generally over looked. But it's ok, because he will inevitably do something else soon as he always does and they can enjoy whatever it is together. I'm seeing myself out for the time being.

But that’s why I’m asking whether you would even have contemplated going on this ‘family day’. It sounds as if you’d have had a hellish time.

Endofyear · 25/05/2025 07:20

Maybe they didn't invite you as they thought you wouldn't come if your brother was there?

Loopytiles · 25/05/2025 07:25

Other than your brother, and their opinion that you should maintain contact with him, how do your family treat you?

Has the person who organised the meet up said why they excluded you?

TimeToReEvaluate · 25/05/2025 09:10

Loopytiles · 25/05/2025 07:25

Other than your brother, and their opinion that you should maintain contact with him, how do your family treat you?

Has the person who organised the meet up said why they excluded you?

I'm now realising that they treat me as the runt, despite me having the most success out of all of us. I don't think they truly value me, and any reaction I have is considered an over reactionx despite my brother constantly having issues wuth everyone and everything. His reactions are generally more accepted.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page