Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To report him?

12 replies

Lilacsam · 24/05/2025 21:22

I have worked in a company for 3 years. I have worked my way up to assistant manager, there is another assistant manager, a manager then my director (just to give some idea of the dynamics).
For two years my director has done nothing but belittle, bully and sexually harass me. He criticises how I work, tells me I don’t do enough, questions everything I do even though I literally bend over backwards for the company.

He has made vile comments about my child, about my family, he has grabbed my bum, grabbed his crotch in front of me. Asked me inappropriate questions about my sex life, pressed his self against me and even went as far as standing in his boxer shorts in his office when he knew I was upstairs (apparently this was accidental as he was getting changed- but there is a toilet a few steps along the corridor).
I raised a complaint with him a few months ago. He cried and begged me not to report him. Said things would be better.

Since then the sexual stuff has lessened and I felt we were starting to get on and he could see what I was doing. Fast forward too this week and he has been VILE. He has criticised everything I’ve done, called me thick and basically spoke to me like I’m a bit of shit on his shoe.
I walked out of work in the middle of my shit and he just said “bye” even though he could see I was in tears.
My question is now, do I report him? What do I do? I feel like any complaint I make about him will be thrown out because I have tried to prove myself so much to him in the last few months in the fear of everything starting up again. I have massive anxiety about going back on Monday and I really don’t want to do it. Colleagues have suggested going on the sick but I don’t get sick pay. Any advice would be a massive help. Thank you x

OP posts:
Onlyharmony · 24/05/2025 21:25

Secretly record the bastard doing this shit and report the hell out of him.

Lilacsam · 24/05/2025 21:31

ha I should have done that in the first place x

OP posts:
Amba1998 · 24/05/2025 21:39

This is absolutely vile and needs reporting to HR. I’d also take some advice about constructive dismissal from ACAS / union / employment solicitor

Lilacsam · 24/05/2025 21:46

Thank you! Would people go in on Monday? Or do sick? X

OP posts:
Lilacsam · 25/05/2025 00:25

anyone? X

OP posts:
MiloMinderbinder925 · 25/05/2025 00:30

I'd take the day off and contact ACAS. Then I'd use the time to write everything I could remember down.

RunningJo · 25/05/2025 07:56

Write everything down, with as much details (with dates) that you can remember, including anyone who has witnessed it.
I’d speak to Acas and ask their advice.
Then I’d report him.

He sounds bloody unhinged, knows what he’s doing is wrong, apologises but then continues?! .
Absolutely report him.

AuntieDolly · 25/05/2025 09:20

Have you raised it with your manager?

Lilacsam · 25/05/2025 10:37

I haven’t actually got dates- I have kept a log of everything he’s done in my phone in the note section but stupidly I haven’t got the dates.
yes I have raised it with my manager and she “spoke to him” but she wanted me to put off reporting him till
the things she had going on at work were sorted as she needed him for those. Selfish I know.

the anxiety I feel right now about going in, after walking out is making me feel ill.

OP posts:
Cerialkiller · 25/05/2025 10:43

When you initially raised it with him and your manager was this verbally or in writing? Were their responses in writing? Might be worth emailing manager now telling her what has happened so you have a contemporaneous evidence.

If you have access to work email from home I would take some time asap to record any that would support your account. Any insulting, demanding or bullying emails too. If he's the director I wouldn't put it past him to remove your access to inhibit your case if you don't go into work on Monday.

JMSA · 25/05/2025 12:02

What a bastard.

JMSA · 25/05/2025 12:03

Oh and I’d definitely, 100% report him.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page