Struggling with my 9 month old

[WhatHaveIDone889]

I'm exhausted. She's crawling, pulling herself up to stand, attempting to walk, climbing everywhere. Has very little patience for being in her pram. It's go go go from the second she opens her eyes. She's also teething, tooth no.5 is coming out so she hasn't slept well at all in 3 nights. She is basically in my arms until midnight poor thing. She normally loves dad but not when she's teething. She has quite a few allergies so weaning is a bitch, I have to be quite creative with food, we can't just give her what we're having. Because of her allergies I have persevered with breastfeeding but I just feel stuck and touched out because of it.

I'm back at work and tbh my work days are easier than being home now 🙃 She's otherwise a perfect happy little girl but I frequently catch myself thinking "have I ruined my life???"

Does everyone find it this hard??? It was easier when she was a newborn and I was sleeping in 30 minute chunks, at least I could get some proper naps in the day.

What the hell am I going to do when she's a toddler, everyone keeps saying toddlers are hell? We wanted baby no.2 but I think I have failed at mothering, because I don't think I could cope with another one.

Teeth are the worst. Keep her dosed up on Calpol and nurofen. I found nurofen better before bed.
Toddlers are bloody brilliant. They are funny, totally invested in whatever they are trying to do, and so full of love. It's hard now, but in another couple of weeks that round of teeth will be in and things will be a bit easier.

@Springadorable thank you! I found myself staying an extra half hour at work this week for no reason other than I didn't want to come home yet (she was with her dad, who had come home earlier)....

I felt similar to you when my daughter was 9 months old. I’d just gone back to work, she wouldn’t drink ANYTHING at nursery (breastfed, wouldn’t take a bottle and wouldn’t drink water at nursery) and was making up for it at night (and was getting constipation from the lack of fluids).
She’s now 20 months. Toddlers are hard work but they’re hilarious, adorable and it’s so lovely watching their personality come through. I think they tend to be a bit happier when they can walk (although that adds extra challenges 😅). I prefer this stage.
Parenthood is exhausting and different ages present different challenges, but it does get a little easier.

Omg toddlers are so much easier. They’re hard work and energetic but so much fun to be around. Hang in there, I found from age 1 it just got better and better by the day x

I think i need him to actually walk, being on the floor all the time is killing my back 😅

it is a funny time for little ones; they are trying to be independent by moving under their own steam for once and because they cannot it must be very frustrating for them.
food is another sticking point and is worse for you with the allergies. do not try and be too clever stick to what you know she likes to take the pressure off you both
you have not failed this is a learning time. i found it hard it was so much easier when they were in their pram in once place so I knew they were safe plus I could get on with things in the house or like you said rest
before long you will find this has all passed yes you will have a mobile toddler but think of the fun you could have walks together exploring the world together you will be fine

I hated the baby stage - absolutely soul destroying. Toddlers are great!! In fact it just continues to get better.

My dd was exactly the same, energetic and always on the go, and she still is at age 4. When she was a toddler it was so hard and I didn’t get a moment to sit and rest when at home with her. My advice is to find some toddler friendly places to take her too like soft plays aimed at toddlers, little play parks, toddler classes that are dance based or with things like bouncy castles and team up with friends with similar age children and just take her out as much as possible to burn off energy, it’s so much easier then staying in the house. At 4 my dd is becoming much easier especially now she’s at school, and will settle to play by herself a bit.

YANBU, this phase is SO hard and early crawlers and walkers are hard because they don’t have the other skills to match their physical ones. It’s exhausting and relentless. Try and get family help at weekends if you can. Hang on in there - as the DM of a 6 year old I promise this phase does not last!! It does get easier - and fun.

You're not failing, you're surviving! I remember one day with the worlds heaviest 9 month old. Teething. Several day into 'will not be put down' 'will not sleep' dumping (yes dumping!!) her into her travel cot in the lounge & going into the garden.

with the limited food options, stop feeling the need to be creative all the time. Have a few meals you know he/she can eat & don't be bothered by repeating them!

can a family member/friend have him/her for a day & you rest??

he/she may not favour Daddy at the moment. Tough. They'll come to no harm grizzling at him for a day!!

Oh & one day at a time! Don't look too far forward, they change all the time & not all toddlers are a nightmare! Lots are absolutely adorable & content little beings!

I'm a grandmother now, but still distinctly remember the baby phase - my 3 kids are all grown up.

For me, the big thing was being able to have a little bit of time to myself so I didn't get lost in all of it. I wasn't doing anything particularly worthy - a neighbour's Anne Summers party, having a bottle of wine with gal pal while watching Friends on a Friday night, the occasional band in a pub, etc. Stopped me feeling like I was disappearing under a pile of kiddy demands. My husband had to virtually push me out the door because baby would be much happier with me, but I was much happier with a tiny bit of space. We also had a baby sitter once every 2-3 weeks so we could go out together.

Personally, I do think it gets easier once they can communicate a little bit and you're not just dealing with raw energy. When they're young it's like having a dog who ignores you completely and keeps tearing your house to bits. And they haven't really got much personality for you to hang on in there for. It's a hump to get over, a bit like running up a hill. Also, and people don't generally talk about this, you're having to absorb a lot of their frustration, pain and annoyance. Like a sponge, there's only so much you can absorb before it begins to leak back out again. Don't feel guilty about the laws of physics.

Honestly this was the worst stage for me, crawling but not yet able to do everything and then they become irritable or frustrated. We spent a lot of time at parks or soft play. DD started walking at 1 and then it became a lot easier! Although you have to keep your eye on them a little bit more, the frustration left and she was like a new happier child. She’s 2 now and honestly just amazing. We have proper little chats, she’s so much fun and understands so much. Regarding teething, calpol & nurofen alternated, anbesol liquid and frozen clean muslins saved our sanity. Try and time it so she has her last dose of medicine half hour before bed time or there abouts. It is really hard but I promise it’ll be over soon. You have not failed at mothering at all. Babies are bloody difficult! I’m 24 weeks pregnant now, DD just turned 2 and I’m not too worried about it (although I know it’ll be hard). Give yourself some grace, you’re doing your best which is always good enough xx