So we’ve been separated for little bit over a year now. We have a DS4. It was a combination of things that led to separation and this one, why I started this thread is probably one of them.
We don't hate each other but definitely not the best friends. We agreed to keep things as normal as we can for our DS because they love each other and that wasn’t our or my plan to keep them away from each other and don’t see for a long periods of time.
He usually sees DS 2-3 times a week, either he comes to our house or we all go out for a coffee or they both spend time together without me. Or occasionally we go to his house, you get it, kinda like okay’ish relationship.
But DS dad is kinda of a person that whatever crap is in his brain, it will come straight out from his mouth. Forget about any “how to talk to small kids, emotional intelligence” or anything like that.
Yesterday we went to his house for a lunch. They were eating together from the same plate. After a while DS said his tummy is full, he doesn’t want to eat anymore. My XP says Ok, one more bite. DS takes one more bite, although I can see he doesn’t want it anymore. He keep saying his tummy is full and XP says - take it one more bite or I will leave l! He almost forced that last bite in his mouth. Of course I said “Can you please stop forcing him eat and even more don’t say things that you gonna leave because he doesn’t wanna eat.”
Of course he got upset and defensive because everything is always my fault.
Another example - DS hair was getting long so he was playing with him and messing with his hair and said “ You need to cut your hair soon, you look ugly” WTF. I told him quite harsh to stop calling DS ugly, the hell is wrong with you. He got defensive again. Like it’s just a constant battle. I guess you know why he’s an X now! Like who the hell calls a small child ugly, let an alone your 4 year old son! Just makes my blood boil honestly.
I dont know what to do for the future or how to go forward. I hate his verbal outbursts so much and I hate the fact that he things that’s perfectly fine. I don’t want to keep them separated and DS loves him and X calls him every day without a fail, sometimes multiple times. He helps us with money. But he cannot control his damn mind or mouth!