To ask what’s the kindest or most forgiving thing you’ve ever done?

Stciket · 2025-05-24T13:36:34+00:00

Just feel like all I read is doom and gloom and people being irritated or sad or angry about things. I thought it might be nice to have a thread about the kindness or forgiveness in people! For me… biggest thing was forgiving my DH for leaving me to give birth alone due to some significant mental health problems. It was incredibly hard to find it in me to move forward but I did. We are stronger now.

S0j0urn4r · 24/05/2025 18:38

Divorcing my ex so I didn't have to kill him.

OysterSatin · 24/05/2025 18:39

Can’t think of anything. I’m not particularly kind or forgiving.

Though I still maintain a relationship with my parents, who knew I was abused as a child and did nothing about it. I don’t think I’ve forgiven them, though. I don’t think that’s forgivable.

shellyleppard · 24/05/2025 18:41

@S0j0urn4r how close did you get though....🤔😉

shellyleppard · 24/05/2025 18:42

Stopped an old lady from crossing the road because I could see the approaching car wasn't going to stop....

PermanentTemporary · 24/05/2025 18:43

Contacting a family member to offer help when they'd lost a parent. (If it doesn't sound like much, we hadn't spoken for 6 years. Tbh I doubt they wanted to hear from me at all but it was a genuinely altruistic gesture on my part).

MidnightPatrol · 24/05/2025 18:44

My upbringing was pretty chaotic, my parents divorced and made countless decisions that were not in my best interests which seriously impacted me.

And I have by and large forgiven them and don’t resent them for it, because I cannot be bothered to allow a cloud to hang over the rest of my life.

Gotabadfeelingaboutthis · 24/05/2025 18:46

When my daughter died, I was determined not to spend every anniversary being sad. So instead, every year on the anniversary of losing her, I spend the day doing acts of kindness. Picking litter, paying ahead for coffee in the line, painting nails at the old folks home, painting my elderly neighbours fences, all sorts of random stuff. Though I'm not sure it counts as totally altruistic as I get a lot from doing it too and it feels like my way of trying to bring a little tiny piece of the joy to the world that my little girl would have done if she'd have lived.

arcticpandas · 24/05/2025 18:47

Forgave my father for being an addict (gambling) and for having stolen money my gp had gifted me and for not being a responsible and mature parent. I know he loves me and my siblings, he's just not a fonctioning adult.

arcticpandas · 24/05/2025 18:48

Gotabadfeelingaboutthis · 24/05/2025 18:46

When my daughter died, I was determined not to spend every anniversary being sad. So instead, every year on the anniversary of losing her, I spend the day doing acts of kindness. Picking litter, paying ahead for coffee in the line, painting nails at the old folks home, painting my elderly neighbours fences, all sorts of random stuff. Though I'm not sure it counts as totally altruistic as I get a lot from doing it too and it feels like my way of trying to bring a little tiny piece of the joy to the world that my little girl would have done if she'd have lived.

What a beautiful person you are. I am so sorry for your loss.

ThejoyofNC · 24/05/2025 18:48

I'm a saint for not murdering my MIL to be honest.

SlaveToMyFanny · 24/05/2025 18:49

Gotabadfeelingaboutthis · 24/05/2025 18:46

When my daughter died, I was determined not to spend every anniversary being sad. So instead, every year on the anniversary of losing her, I spend the day doing acts of kindness. Picking litter, paying ahead for coffee in the line, painting nails at the old folks home, painting my elderly neighbours fences, all sorts of random stuff. Though I'm not sure it counts as totally altruistic as I get a lot from doing it too and it feels like my way of trying to bring a little tiny piece of the joy to the world that my little girl would have done if she'd have lived.

I'm so sorry for your loss. This is such a lovely thing for you to do, and a lovely way to remember your daughter.

feelingbleh · 24/05/2025 18:51

Gotabadfeelingaboutthis · 24/05/2025 18:46

When my daughter died, I was determined not to spend every anniversary being sad. So instead, every year on the anniversary of losing her, I spend the day doing acts of kindness. Picking litter, paying ahead for coffee in the line, painting nails at the old folks home, painting my elderly neighbours fences, all sorts of random stuff. Though I'm not sure it counts as totally altruistic as I get a lot from doing it too and it feels like my way of trying to bring a little tiny piece of the joy to the world that my little girl would have done if she'd have lived.

Aww this is amazing

S0j0urn4r · 24/05/2025 19:12

shellyleppard · 24/05/2025 18:41

@S0j0urn4r how close did you get though....🤔😉

Well, he was adamant he wouldn't move out then one day he just changed his mind...😉

MonicasChefHat · 24/05/2025 19:18

Name changed as very outing! Got a phone call in 1986 from a friend who had relocated to a new City, and pregnant with her second child decided that he wanted to trace her birth Mum (with the blessing of her adoptive Mum). She asked me if I could visit the registry office, local paper etc to see what I could do. She had a first name, and a vague location.
On a hunch I called my Dad. He gave me a number of a friend of his that I knew. I called him, and made up a story of my friend meeting a woman in her new City who had this person as friend and wanted to trace her.
He took a breath and said “you’re talking about xxxxx’s baby, aren’t you?” And proceeded to give me her name, current address and phone number! Within 20 minutes I rang my friend back.
We proceeded with caution. I wrote to the lady. As an intermediary, to see if she was open to meeting. She was. She held a family BBQ and we went as a 4, me, my husband, friend and her husband. It went SO well, and everyone was incredibly happy.
18 years later, in yet another City, I was relating this tale in a car with 3 colleagues as we had all decided to tell a story about ourselves. My colleague in the front seat gasped. She’d been at that BBQ, as the best friend of the daughter of the family!
It’s one of my happiest events in my life.

FastMauveQuoter · 24/05/2025 19:22

DH and I were out for our morning walk when a little old lady stopped us to ask where she could get a bus to the Health Centre. She explained she had got on the wrong bus and was trying to get another. She was 92 and had one of those walking frames with wheels. We were going to tell her but instead, I stayed with her, and said my DH would go get the car and we could take her instead. He walked back home, about 5 minutes away, whilst I waited with her and we had a lovely chat. We took her to her appointment, took her in and made sure she was in the right department as she hadn't been there before and was having a blood test. I made her promise to get a taxi home, and we swapped names, and are now Facebook friends. She told us we were here guardians angels. I lost my DM in 2023, and she reminded me so much of her, it was a pleasure to meet and help her.

ScaryM0nster · 24/05/2025 19:25

Not sure it was a massive gesture on my part, but made a big difference to the other person.

Stayed longer on a shit heap oil platform so that someone else could get home sooner for child birthday / ill relative / pregnant partner struggling with sickness.

MargaritaPracticallyCan · 24/05/2025 19:26

@Gotabadfeelingaboutthis I'm inspired by you to do the same on the anniversary of losing my beloved mum. She always volunteered, helped others, was there to offer a helping hand no matter what. We lost her in June last year, and this year I'll find something for me and my lovely Dad to do, that gives something back, in her memory. Thanks for sharing, and all the love to you ♥️

ThisLuckyOpalShaker · 24/05/2025 19:27

Gotabadfeelingaboutthis · 24/05/2025 18:46

When my daughter died, I was determined not to spend every anniversary being sad. So instead, every year on the anniversary of losing her, I spend the day doing acts of kindness. Picking litter, paying ahead for coffee in the line, painting nails at the old folks home, painting my elderly neighbours fences, all sorts of random stuff. Though I'm not sure it counts as totally altruistic as I get a lot from doing it too and it feels like my way of trying to bring a little tiny piece of the joy to the world that my little girl would have done if she'd have lived.

Sorry for your loss. Beautiful way to honour your girl ❤️

DisplayPurposesOnly · 24/05/2025 19:31

I once lent a friend £3k to pay off a debt. Friend paid me back. All good.

I mean, that's quite nice. But the kicker is I genuinely forgot that ever happened. Friend mentioned it a few years ago and I had no memory of it at all. Even now I feel I only know about it because my friend mentioned it 😆

IHateMoist · 24/05/2025 19:33

I actually do and have done a lot of genuinely kind things now I sit and think about it. One example is that I stayed an extra 6 hours at work to sit with a dying man who didn’t have anyone. Not overtime. It just felt wrong leaving when I knew he was about to die and probably wouldn’t have anyone there because the oncoming shift would be super busy.

ScrubbedCauliflower · 24/05/2025 19:35

A few years ago we had our kitchen renovated. I was getting rid of all our old kitchen stuff from cabinet doors to cutlery and plates but rather than throw them in a skip we put everything on FB marketplace for free.

A local lady contacted me asking if I had a few bits she needed - tea towels, chopping boards and a few other bits, I can’t remember exactly what, but all basics and nothing luxurious. I wasn’t getting rid of anything she needed and I replied saying I was really sorry but I didn't have anything to give away that was on her list. She thanked me for replying and told me her and her 7 yr old daughter had just moved into a small flat in a nearby town and were struggling a bit.

I felt really bad for her so I just said I had a friend (not local) who was also renovating and may be able to send her some of the stuff she needed and I got her address. I then went straight on Amazon and ordered everything she needed plus a toy for her daughter and had it sent to her direct from Amazon anonymously.

She sent me a lovely message and a photo of her little girl with the toy when she got the delivery asking me to thank “my friend” for her. I just said I would and left it at that. We were never in contact again. I hope she’s doing okay.

When it comes to forgiveness, however, I fail epically

outerspacepotato · 24/05/2025 19:43

When the free accomodations for parents whose kids were in critical care were full, I would let parents stay in my apartment. I worked nights, so it wasn't like I was there. I let one family stay while I was on vacation for a week.

Chicaontour · 24/05/2025 19:46

Gotabadfeelingaboutthis · 24/05/2025 18:46

When my daughter died, I was determined not to spend every anniversary being sad. So instead, every year on the anniversary of losing her, I spend the day doing acts of kindness. Picking litter, paying ahead for coffee in the line, painting nails at the old folks home, painting my elderly neighbours fences, all sorts of random stuff. Though I'm not sure it counts as totally altruistic as I get a lot from doing it too and it feels like my way of trying to bring a little tiny piece of the joy to the world that my little girl would have done if she'd have lived.

I love that you are spreading love to the universe, what a legacy of kindness in honour of your beloved daughter.

TigerRag · 24/05/2025 19:51

A small thing but she sounded so grateful - getting off the train and so was a lady with a pram and her toddler. I have booked assistance. I explain to the lady that if she needs a hand getting off the train, a member of staff should be able to help her

(It's a massive interchange station and there's quite a gap between the train and platform)

Essexelf · 24/05/2025 20:07

I found a man sitting on a step near my house, half propped up against a wall, a fat wallet had dropped from his hand onto the floor, he was mumbling and singing to himself, very happy, not distressed. In fact it looked like he was having the time of his life. He just found it beyond him to navigate in a foreign city.

I could get enough sense out of him to discover he was a tourist staying at a very smart hotel in Shoreditch. It seems he’d gone to a party and imbibed a bit of drink and drugs. He was in no danger but a bit too merry.

I asked his permission to look in his wallet, full of large notes of cash and cards.
I took two 20s hailed a black cab and told the driver to keep the change but please just make sure he got to the actual lobby and didn’t end up sitting in the street again. I put the wallet in his coat before the driver had arrived.

I rang the hotel to tell them a rather lost and merry guest should be there shortly and please look out for him. Rang back 20 mins later to make sure he had got to his room, they confirmed they made sure he got up there. It felt good. I know he’ll pay it forward, he seemed like a nice guy despite the merry making.