Oh @Tandora I am disappointed. I genuinely thought you were smarter than this.
Firstly, please re-read my original post. The issue is not and never was what trans people believe about themselves. It is that genderists go beyond that into redefining everyone else.
The ideology is in taking that self belief beyond the personal and making it into the definition of all women and men, keeping the existing social groups but taking their meaning away from simple observed biology (because yes, DSDs notwithstanding, for 99.9999lots of the population including almost all trans people it really is that simple) into some sort of mental characteristic(1) regardless of whether the people being redefined recognised themselves in that or not, in order to claim that trans people's self image is an actual, objective reality and therefore justify reorganising society around it.
Do you see that? The ideology is not the right of trans people's right to define themselves, it's the need to redefine everyone else to make their subjective "truth" into a universal one, something to justify the TRA demand to reorganise society around it.
Secondly, you seem to have got the idea from somewhere that "ideology" is a criticism. It's not. It's a description. Feminism is also an ideology - it's both the systen of thought that seeks to understand and explain the experiences of women (OFM) in society and a belief that a better society is one in which women are not structurally disadvanatged. It's absolutely an ideology, one I wholeheartedly sign up to.
Do you know when ideologies are dangerous? It's when they hide. When they pretend to be "just the way it is", "just progress". If a movement is trying to change society and also trying to pretend it's "just a natural next step", "just doing what the people want", "just the way young people think and that's progress", be afraid. People who want to change society for good reasons should be happy to stand up and make the case for why.
So, to that old worn gay analogy. I'm afraid you really are barking up the wrong tree (and incidentally maybe betraying a little bit more than you intended about how you think, hmmm?).
If a person believes they are same sex attracted, they are same sex attracted. That's it. They feel the attraction, they can name it as such from their own self knowledge. No one else is redefined. The people they fancy don't have their own sexuality redefined simply because someone the same sex happens to fancy them. All society needs to do to accomodate gayness is to say "ok, that seems fine to me, find someone who fancies you back and be happy!"
But when a person believes they are the opposite sex in some inner, ineffable way, that their place in society is not with the others of their sex but with the opposite sex as one of them, sharing their privacy, adopting their language, defining their reality and their social identity, that is not simply a person describing their own reality, that is a person imposing their own beliefs and prejudices about their own sex and the opposite sex onto everyone else. For society to accomodate that, it has to agree that those ideas about men and women are real, that the fundamental, most meaningful difference between men and women that leads to all the different gendered outcomes is not that we have different bodies and deal with different social constructs but that we are fundamentally different in our minds, and that it is right and proper that anyting that is usually restricted by sex, whether that is language or privacy or rights or intimate touch, should be made available to membeer of the opposite sex based on a gender they can claim to have and their targets cannot challenge or deny having themselves regardless of whether they do in fact experienece this alleged similarity of mental gender.
Accepting that, accepting that redefinition of every single fucking human being that exists, a definition that I am telling you unequivocally is NOT how I and many many other people expereince ourselves, is a hugely different proposition to simply accepting the utterly uncontroversial observation that some people fancy people who are the same sex.
And frankly I'm aghast that you could consider the simple fact of same sex attraction anywhere near as fundamentally redefining to society as replacing every single human's self knowledge with an unevidenced and pretty damn sexist system of gender identity.
(1) I say "some sort of mental characteristic" only because this is the best guess I have as to what you actually believe, because despite being very very certain this thing is so hugely important we need to destroy women (original sex based meaning)'s rights, protections and political voice, belie our history and invalidate our language and our own lived experience to accomodate it, you are apparently unwilling or unable to say what it actually is. And who knows, if someone would just bloody tell us what this apparently simultaneously totally obvious and utterly unsayable thing we supposed "cis women" and trans women have in common is, we might evern recognise it and all this would turn out to be a huge huge miscommunication and we could skip off hand in hand into the pink and blue sunset. But how can that ever happen, how can we see our error, if no one can ever be clear about what it is we are supposed to be feeling that would make all this make sense? Why does it have to be done as an exercise of power and dominance and "you will accept this" unless the reason is there is no reality, only the exercise of power?