If you are divorced…

[Whynort]

(Just to say I’d rather not hear any stories of DV just as I’m hoping to get stories of where it’s not as clear cut, my apologies I just am not equipped right now to support anyone with these stories and I know they can trigger a lot of other readers too, again my apologies I just want to hear from those who have divorced from things such as other half’s unreasonable behaviour / mood swings / feeling unsupported)

How long were you married for before you knew the person wasn’t the one for you in the end and you knew you had to get out?

How long were you married for?

Was your life actually better after divorcing or does any part of you wish you’d stayed?

Together 20 years, married 15, nearly 10 years apart now and I have zero regrets. I grew up, he didn't. He's shown his true colours now in recent years and the adult kids have disowned him. Meanwhile, I'm financially and emotionally healthier.

Married 6 years, together 10. I clung on for the sake of the kids despite his cheating etc
when we finally split the relief was immense . Then followed some if the best years of my life , single and free of the stress and worry that the marriage brought .
I then met my now DH and everything clicked into place . There is definitely happiness after divorce but I truly think you need to be happy on your own before you can consider another partner . I’m on great terms with my ex DH so alls well that ends well

XH1: 12 years. Stuck with it for far too long. We had a lot in common: we were both in love with him! He was conceited, violent, unfaithful and a bit of a dickhead.

I went off to do my own thing and had some really great years, but stupidly did not force the sale of our house. I let him pay me off in instalments and definitely came off worse financially.

XH2: What a fiasco. No idea why I married him; we were incompatible in every way except sexually. He was horrid and I was miserable. Stuck at it for 18 months and got the decree absolute in year 3.

My life definitely didn't improve after that one (though it's obviously nice not to be in the middle of a row all the time). He bullied me financially, I over-extended myself to buy a flat with no money, and tons of other shit went wrong for me at the same time.

I don't regret either divorce - I regret the marriages!

Together 9 years, married nearly 8. In hindsight we should never have got married, I knew I didn't love him, I was so traumatised because I knew it wasn't going to be forever, I'd tried to end the relationship before the wedding, but he gaslighted me into marrying him, I still can't remember the wedding, everything from getting into the car to arriving at the reception is a blank, my mind won't allow me to remember it. The only good thing to come from our marriage is ds, I have never regretted him. I've been divorced 15 years, I was 44 when we split up, I had a 5 year relationship since but my late dp sadly died 10 years ago, I often wonder what would have happened if I had met him instead of exh, I think we would have lasted much longer, if not forever.

We married very young. For 7 years. Zero regrets. I now have a beautiful family.

First time - married 11 years. Got married because I was pregnant. I knew after the first couple of years really but continued because he wasn't a bad man and I didn't want to hurt him - plus he was a good dad and I didn't want to hurt the children.

Second time, married 10 years. I knew within 3 years but was determined not to let everyone know I had made another mistake.

Now on my third (and last) marriage. We were together for ten years before getting married and it wasn't anything I had ever intended to do again. Now been together for 19 years and I know we will be together until one of us dies. We adore each other.