Intrusive thoughts - Anyone else?

[BobbyBilliams]

Anyone else suffer from intrusive thoughts? Mine have got worse since my granddaughter was born. Everytime I hear of anything awful happening I imagine it happening to a loved one and my stupid brain goes into horrible graphic detail which makes me feel sick. The only way I can stop it is by looking at happy photos of that person almost like I have to remind myself of reality.

I get it a lot with my dog, DH told me an awful story about dog abuse and I started imaging someone doing it to my beloved dog, how she’d react, the sounds she’d make etc etc - then I get into a state as if it’s actually happened.

Same thing with my granddaughter which honestly makes me spiral into a pit of anxiety where I end up messaging my daughter asking if GD is ok.

I had a horrible one yesterday where my 95 year old grandfather was walking past me and I imagined kicking him over. If I’m stood on a train platform I imagine pushing DH on to the tracks. I then feel awfully guilty like I’m a horrible person. I’d never do any of it of course! Anyone else get this? Is it anxiety? OCD?

I had it a lot when my eldest was a baby and do still get it occasionally now. I linked it to anxiety.

It's perfectly normal - there was a long thread on the subject here just this week although I don't know how to look for it.

It does sound like your intrusive thoughts might be related to OCD. I would make an appointment with your GP and ask for a referral for treatment. In most cases it's very treatable. Intrusive thoughts are really horrible and have a significant impact on your life and mental wellbeing. Look after yourself lovely 💐

It’s often OCD related - the ‘pure O’ form of OCD.

(I have it.)

I get them, have done since I was a teen. Became unbearable about 18 months ago. I’m now having talking therapy to address the underlying issues. Long story short - these thoughts/visions have developed as a protector part from previous difficulties. I’ve learnt how to thank the ‘inner monologue’ for trying to help but explain it’s not needed (my internal response is ‘thanks but stop’). It’s gradually improving.

Yes I do since I had my children. Definitely got worse since having my second 8 months ago. My brain always goes to worst case scenario, especially when someone else is looking after them and I have spiralled into a panic before when they’ve haven’t answered my calls/messages within 10 minutes 🙈. No wonder I’m going grey!
I’ve never had them where I have been the one doing anything untoward though. Always external factors/other people.

I get them too, a hundred times worse since I got pregnant!

I just wanted to say, particularly when it comes to thoughts of you causing harm, they’re almost always connected to the things you care about most. When I have a thought like this I remind myself it’s appearing because of just how much I care about them.

Although it’s difficult, it’s best to ‘diffuse’ the thought, ACT therapy is great for learning how to do this. They wouldn’t be a problem at at if you had an intrusive thought and then your reactive thought was ‘what a strange thought!’. It only becomes an issue when we cling to the thought and start to wonder why we’ve had it, or if it’s true. Understanding them helps a lot but I’m needing to remind myself a lot at the moment.

My mantra: Anxious thoughts are not premonitions

I can relate to this so much. I’ve suffered with these since my teens (I’m now 50). It reached a point in my early twenties where I couldn’t sleep, eat or focus at work. I thought I was going mad, but confided in my lovely mum who explained they were obsessive intrusive thoughts. She gave me a book about anxiety and it explained that you have to try and accept the thoughts, however awful, and know that they are just thoughts, and you won’t act on them. They do not mean bad things will happen. I felt like a weight had been lifted off me and I was able to cope and manage it much better.

Hi op , you aren’t alone 🌹 I have them .I’v had them since my very early 20s and I’m 45 now , ramped up when my teen daughter passed a few years ago and some other significant things happened, if I’m stressed or my anxiety is peeking up they tend to get worse . Lots of love to you 💜

Definitely OCD. It's a cruel thing to have.

I get these from time to time. You have my utter sympathy, I hate myself for ever entertaining but they can just come uninvited. Like I'm holding a big sharp knife in a kitchen next to a beloved family member, or driving with someone giving me a hard time, or standing on a balcony, or even perhaps just even thinking about saying something really shitty and unfixable and the words sit dangerously in my mouth. Then have to nearly put the knife down, slow down, step away from the balcony, squeeze my mouth shut til the moment passes. To remind myself the outcome is not what I want l, and maybe it's just my mind being a little hyper, perhaps even just having a bit of fun with itself to think of such a nutty thing. I wonder sometimes when you read a story of a murder or a suicide, and in the case of the former certainly where the narrative is that no one suspected that the culprit could be capable of such a thing, maybe they weren't in their normal mind but were overcome by the thought to act out and did so? Not enough to be considered temporarily insane, but perhaps operating in a similar sphere
It's not a daily or weekly occurrence, in fact it's really rare thankfully, and I think it does me good to basically read another persons version of it to know I'm not a one off. I'm in my 40s and do not believe I will act out ever like that, but yeah, hands up to them dark thoughts right here!

I heard it could be linked to ADHD (I haven't been diagnosed with that), but it could be a factor?
I get them, always have done. Reminded me of the flashbacks of evil/funny outcomes on Ally McBeal when I was younger.
It got worse in my 30s.
Then, I was diagnosed with OCD when my DS was born and I honestly believe it's linked to increased stress, as I would catastrophise the worst possible outcome.
It might be so that you can weirdly feel prepared, like the saying 'prepare for the worst, but hope for the best.'
I can not control it, but that's how I know I need to get my stress levels under control. Like my own built in barometer.

Hugs to you. 🫂

“Thoughts are not facts” is a good mantra. Take comfort in the distress - if you really wanted these things to happen you’d enjoy thinking them. Thinking something is it the same as doing it (thought/action fusion). “Dropping the baby and other scary thoughts” is a great book for pregnancy and new parenting (and grand parenting) intrusive thoughts.

I had these for years and they’re when I don’t feel ‘safe’ in a relationship. They’ve come back a bit recently with peri-menopause and the associated anxiety, but I’m much better at witnessing my thoughts now rather than falling into the so to speak x

My lovely cousin's wife suffers from intrusive thought and dreams and she was fiagnosedwith OCD. I hope you can find the help and support you need, OP.

Intrusive thoughts are hard to live with but can be successfully addressed (but can come and go).
Read up on OCD - pure O, see if it resonates.

It’s a horrible illness when it’s acute - I had it when both my children were babies - probably post natal related Pure-O that I didn’t recognise at the time.

i had treatment, and since then have been treated for General Anxiety Disorder long term.

ive been on Citalopram for as long as I can remember and no longer get those awful, debilitating intrusive thoughts at all.

you have my sympathies, OP - please speak to your doctor, it’s very common.

@MyBigBoots

what a lovely mum you have - how wonderful to have been able to trust her with that and how she comforted you. That’s very special 💕💕

I have them occasionally. I asked some friends and they do too. Sometimes feel guilty as there is no logical reason for them. I think they have been more frequent since complicated loss of a loved one. Like the sentence AuntieLemonade said that, 'thoughts are not facts'. Wise words. Be kind to yourself.

I know it sounds trite and takes practice, but I like Pahla B's (exercise for women over 50 on YouTube): "Ask yourself, is this a helpful thought? And if the answer is No. Stop thinking it."

My Dp died suddenly many years ago in a train crash, I think the realisation that awful things can and do happen to anyone is what instigated the intrusive thoughts.

They got bad again when I was peri-menopausal, hrt really helped.

I also put down my fear of heights to intrusive thoughts, I always imagine myself either suddenly jumping, or pushing somebody off anywhere high.

I do think they are very common. When I get the thoughts where I am the one doing something awful, I just remind myself that they are just thoughts, and the reason I am horrified is because I am a good person and I know I would never act on them.

I went to the GP and with the OCD diagnosis, they pushed for CBT with a trusted therapist. It was very helpful. Have you seen a GP yet OP?
Hugs to you 🫂

Thank you ❤️ I appreciate how very fortunate I am to have her.

My daughter (31) has awful intrusive thoughts which are linked to severe OCD. For example, if she doesn't shower in the 'correct' order, she imagines a man standing behind the curtain, holding one of the children's heads. Since getting a proper OCD/BPD diagnosis, she had tried a few counsellors. The latest has been amazing - kind, funny, understanding. He has given her management techniques. It won't go away, and the jars in the fridge still face the same way, but she is considerably better and is doing well. OCD is really tough and is a million miles away from checking you turned off the oven.
See your GP. Good luck.

I’ve had them since my son was young, he’s 35 now so a long time. Eventually they calmed down to a manageable level with long periods of being fine, but reared their ugly head when my daughter was born 18 years ago. It’s made me so ill living with such utter terror. I did have some therapy a few years ago but when it happens it still affects me in the same way. I am a highly anxious person and understand it’s the pure O form of OCD but in the throes of it I just feel like a freak and full of shame. I asked my psychologist if she would trust me with her children and she said, absolutely, you’d be one of the safest people to leave them with.