Only one child offered a school place and anxiety

[Zaina89]

Reposted
We have bought a house in Solihull, relocating from Birmingham. This is a move we’ve wanted to make for a long time. We have three kids - a daughter in Year 4, a son in Year 3, and one still nursery age.

The commute to the older kids’ school from our new home is sadly not sustainable - it’s 30 minutes each way when roads are clear, but at school rush hour more like 45-50 minutes.
I applied last month to Solihull council for the kids to move to local schools, fully understanding that the good schools were unlikely to have open spaces. To my surprise, my son in Year 3 has now been offered a place at our top choice school (with a nursery attached that I hope our 19 month old will attend once he turns 3, before going on to reception there). They don’t have a place for my daughter in Year 4, however - she’s third on the waiting list (though could move up the list based on sibling priority once my son starts).
The school wants my son to start on 9th June, so I have to decide quickly or we lose his offer.

Would you take the offer? My son is very shy and I’m having all the usual worries about moving him especially so late in the school year - I’m panicking about whether he’ll make friends. I’ve also got to let his current school know he’ll only be back for a week after half term, and the three-way school run will be very challenging. But hopefully this will mean my daughter is more likely to get a place? Is there anything I can do to speed this process up? Would love to hear about any similar experiences

I don't know how to vote but just take the place. Home school your daughter for a bit then she'll get priority

Yes, take it and contact admissions to remind them there's now a sibling attending after he's arrived for his first day.

Take the space, it's the best long term option. All the stuff about your son being shy/not wanting to move him is moot really isn't it? You've bought a house, the old school is too far away....he has to move. It might as well be now.

I think you have to accept the offer and then hope that your daughter is offered a place by September. Will you be able to cope ferrying the children to two schools for awhile if necessary?

Absolutely yes

If you decline, they may offer you a place for your daughter later on anyway, when there's a spot in Y4, and then it's your son who won't have a place.
You can't wait for 2 places at the same time, and hopefully it won't be too long with higher priority.

In some ways June is a good time to move school - he'll be a bit of a novelty so the other kids will include him, and hopefully he'll have made friends before the summer - it can be tough over the summer holidays if you don't know any locals. Hopefully your daughter will then go to the top of the waiting list and get a place by September.

I commented on you last post, I’m not sure why you have posted again.

You have moved area. Unless you want the ballache of driving for almost two hours a day to take your children to the school in the old area, you are going to have to move him.

You will rarely find a school with places in two years for siblings.

Move your son, and then complete an in hear transfer for your older child with the LA for that school. She will go futher up the list as a sibling.

I don’t see the dilemma here at all. You have moved. You have been offered a place for your son at your preferred school. Take the place, put your older child on the list and your youngest when the time comes.

If you don’t want to continue driving your daughter all that way, either home educate her until the place comes up or find her a place at another Solihull school until a place at your sons school comes up (not ideal to move them twice or have them at different Solihull schools, or move them twice in a short period), but lots of parents find themselves in the same predicament who have moved too far to communicate to the old school). Put your youngest in a nursery in Solihull.

It will all get sorted. Children will make new friends and forget about old ones.

You aren’t likely to get two places at once so I agree best to take the one for your son which will also increase the odds of getting one for your daughter, and hope the dual school run doesn’t last too long.

I’d take it

You should take it, and your other children will have sibling priority. Short term pain for long term gain.

Definitely accept and hopefully your year 4 DC will go to the top of the list

Is it possible to home e evil you daughter until a place becomes available?

I'd take it. If it's a popular school there is a high chance that if you don't take the place someone else will and you don't know when the next opportunity for a place in that year group will come - if ever. Whilst it's maybe not the ideal time of year to be changing school, once you have one child in it increases your chances of ultimately getting all your kids in the same school. If you decline this place you could still end up with your children being offered places in different schools that are potentially not as good and/or further away. I'd take the short term pain in the hope of longer term gain.
We were in a similar position many years ago though our DD moved slightly earlier in the year, between Easter and half term, in year 4. Actually it worked out pretty well, as she got to join in a lot of fun stuff in the last half term, was settled before September plus had made local friends before the Summer holidays meaning she had invitations to play dates and parties during the break.
I understand your anxiety but it sounds like it will be your best option in the long term, so I'd bite the bullet and move your DS.

Absolutely take the place. It’ll be annoying in the short term but hopefully your daughter will get a place too.

As someone else has said ring them up once your son starts to let them know a sibling has started.

This happened to us. We took the place and then appealed for our child that there wasn't a place for. We weren't going to appeal as we thought it was a bit cheeky, but the school admissions officer suggested that we did. Our other child got in with our very factual appeal about the difficulty of getting our children to different schools. We were honest that the issue of getting them both to school on time was because we had moved one child and our appeal was still successful. We only had a couple of months wait before they were at the same place.

take the place xx

Yes absolutely take the place. The only downside is the logistics but it's not going to be forever. If you decline his space then it's going to put you in a worse off position and you'll have to wait longer plus I don't think you can decline a space and then ask to go back on the waiting list. The way I see it is that it's a bonus for your son because he'll be joining at the end of the school year and will presumably be present for the transition day when they get to test out the next year up. So from that point of view it's brilliant he'll be there for that. Take the space!

Move him now, it’s actually better because he can get settled then go back properly in September.
Regarding your daughter… controversial, but mum worked in a school once and the child had no place, but turned up in full uniform at reception and ready to learn and the school took them in. They said they couldn’t turn a child away that was willing and able to learn, and they made it work. I’m not saying this is ethical, or guaranteed, but I’d consider it 🤣

You take the place and then appeal for your DD who is in year 4. It's much easier to win a year 4 appeal than a year R - year 2 appeal.

I would take the place, get her moved up the waiting list if possible due to siblings in school, and desperately hope she gets in for September start.

Yes take it. I moved house over the summer. The primary school we applied to confirmed my daughter’s place the first week of September.
When we first moved the school was full but movement in the area and the fact we were closet to the school waiting list wise meant it was all confirmed

absolutely take it. It'll get her moved up the waiting list too.

Accept the place now!!! Starting a new school in the last term is ideal for him settling in so that he is familiar with the school and has made friends before starting year 4.

Once the place is accepted, contact the school directly and ask them if they can also accommodate your older child. There is no upper limit for KS2 class sizes, so they ought to be able to squeeze in an extra one. She will be top priority as a sibling so will hopefully have a place by September even if the school say they do not have space now.

Also, the movements on waiting lists for schools can sometimes be faster than people realise.

When we moved areas, we held out for one school in particular. Dd went from being 8th on the list in May to being offered a place in he first week of September due to people moving/changing schools/switching to HE. It would have been even quicker if she’d had a sibling there.

I would definitely take the place - you don’t know how long it will take for a space to come up again and I suspect that your DD’s waiting list place is dependent on her brother attending the school.

I think that starting in June is better than starting in September. If he’s the nervous type then the summer holidays could end up very difficult as he’ll be worried about the new school. Starting in June hopefully means that he makes some friends for the summer holidays and that these friends will go up to secondary with him.