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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I didn’t deserve this? (Work/promotion)

28 replies

clenebtine · 22/05/2025 17:57

I work in a team of just my manager and one other colleague (same level as me) - colleague has now got a promotion. This was a promotion they were put forward for and not an advertised role. I had absolutely no idea.

I am currently on annual leave and colleague feels the need to message me to tell me she got a promotion. Of course it made me feel shit but I sucked it up and said congratulations etc.

My issue isn’t so much the promotion but how I was told. Firstly this has just consumed my mind at a time I’m away from the office and don’t want to think about work and that I felt like it should have been my manager who told me privately - so I could then ask them for feedback as opposed to not being in the office for another week. It almost felt like she was gloating and I felt it was really inappropriate and this really does change the team dynamics so it does impact me.

My judgement is a bit clouded as obviously I’m feeling disappointed and that I had no prior knowledge of this - it wasn’t like we both had an interview and I was prepared to get a yes or no, it just came out of nowhere for me.

OP posts:
ThatsNotMyTeen · 22/05/2025 22:06

Yeah it should have been your manager who said to you, I’d let them know you felt the colleague telling you when you were on leave was overstepping a bit

Hope you are OK

clenebtine · 22/05/2025 22:34

ThatsNotMyTeen · 22/05/2025 22:06

Yeah it should have been your manager who said to you, I’d let them know you felt the colleague telling you when you were on leave was overstepping a bit

Hope you are OK

Thank you. I had a good cry today and the poor EVRi driver asked if I was ok. I’ve been struggling with other things recently and I think I just needed this annual leave to reset and it’s just been completely ruined.

Again though, thank you for your kind words.

OP posts:
clenebtine · 22/05/2025 22:36

Lemons1571 · 22/05/2025 22:03

A similar sort of thing happened to me a few years ago. Ultimately there was no way back, I found another job and left the company. The directors didn’t want me to go, realised what had happened, and the manager who had been the cause of my issue was also quietly managed out. So everyone lost, in my scenario.

That’s really sad and sorry you went through that, I hope your new job has been a good fresh start for you.

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