To have told my dad he is a lazy arse!

[Rolo87south]

My fit healthy Dad was in my grandparents garden swinging on the swing bench.
I was helping my elderly Mum load a maxi skip of household and garden waste from my terminally ill grandparent home and garden.
I asked Dad to help out please and he said no he can't help out and continued swinging on the bench and watch me & Mum load the skip.
Aibu to to of asked for help loading as I think he was being hard faced.
I do a lot for my Dad e.g. cooking, shopping, cleaning, gardening.
I have now told him to expect nothing from me, i will not help him at all.
I was fuming and told him he's a lazy arse.

This makes literally no sense
Why would you be doing all those chores for a fit,healthy man?

Did he give a reason for not helping?

If he's fit and healthy, why do you do all those things for him? How old is he?

Your dad's " fit and healthy" but your mum's "elderly". Much age difference?

He is 64, but a very healthy 64. Mum in her 70s and has gad cancer and other health issues.
Just said he would rather not help as he was enjoying sat down relaxing.
I help him out a lot, just because he's family and am not getting the same respect back.
It really upset me that he was letting my Mum struggle loading skip. I was upset for her more than any thing.

Why on earth are you doing any of that for a 64 year old? I'm confused, are you doing it because otherwise he would expect your mum whose in ill health to do it all?

Are you 100% aware of the intimate details of the relationship between your mum and your dad? And your dad and his in-laws?

He's lazy, for sure, but whether it was right for you to call him out on it is a different matter. His wife should have done that.

@Rolo87south is it his inlaws house or his parents house? perhaps he didnt get on with them? why is your mum doing it alone with you? does she not have siblings to help?

I would have lost my temper with him and told exactly why i thought he was dispicable.

Yanbu.
Stick to it.
Let him off.
He sounds like a lazy selfish loser.

Stop helping him.

He is only 64 and healthy, stop cooking, shopping, cleaning, gardening. He can do those things. He won't do them if you do them.