AiBU for feeling so drained (and like a bad friend) after my friend's visit?

[Lifelongtrauma]

My friend came to visit for a whole week. We've been friends for like 20 years, but we only lived in the same country for like 4-6 of those 20.

I've never had that many friends anyway and I do consider her one of best frirnde, but I guess that's more out of "continuity" so to speak.

Because of work and life I don't get to engage with people that much, so having her with me for 7 days non stop felt incredibly draining.

I also realised that we dont have that much in common anymore and that we see life VERY differently.

Last time I saw her for a very extended period of time was like 7 years ago.

I'm glad she's left now but I feel bad about feeling that way too. She hasn't done anything inherently wrong (yes she's a bit stubborn about things she really doesn't understand - like my job) but nothing to vouch making me feel so drained. I still feel like a bad friend for feeling this way.

It's really normal to grow apart from people over time and it's also very normal to find it exhausting to have someone staying with you for a whole week!

You're not a bad friend at all. Even if you still had loads in common with her, a week of someone's constant presence can be draining at the best of times. I would struggle to spend a week with anyone if they were around me the entire time!

You're not a bad friend, I think 7 days non stop is a lot! When I holiday with friends for that long, we do a lot of quiet book reading/watch stuff on our laptops alone, sit in peaceful silence etc. If she's not someone you can be silent and relaxed with, then a weekend is the max I could do before needing a bit of time alone! It's natural to drift a bit over time too, I find this with my oldest friends but I still love them

I have been on holiday with a good friend and had a great time. Would I go on holiday with her again for a week? Absolutely.

Would I go to stay at her house for a week or want her to come and stay with me for a week? Definitely not!

Its different when you go on holiday, you are both "on holiday" and enjoying being away from home, going out and about and having new experiences and sights to distract you and chat about.

Staying in someone's house, or being the host, for that length of time is a totally different experience.

I'd have become stabby after two days, but I really value time on my own.