Me and DH talked about this the other day and came up with a few things we’d do differently when we are grandparents. No doubt we will do things our kids will also think they’ll do differently etc.
but the main ones include :
occasionally attributing qualities our future grand kids have ( be it physical or otherwise ) to our kids. Whereas in laws never attribute anything to me of DH, they always attribute stuff to themselves or other family members. ‘ oh doesn’t Jonny look like his uncle Mike ‘ ‘ oh Tracey is just as talented as auntie Mary at XY ‘… it’s never us, they never say that either of our kids are anything like us- their actual parents.
whenever we are having a rest or something, they make us feel like lazy teenagers - rather than shattered parents. They generally don’t understand our need for a bit of down time and how we want to just lie down sometimes at 8 pm when the kids are asleep and not do stuff constantly like they do. I was staying with my parents a few weeks ago and my little one was very ill and I had had very little sleep for 4 nights. I dared to stay in bed for an extra 30 minutes one morning, while my mum sorted breakfast for the kids. When I emerged, my dad made a bunch of jokes, calling me lazy. It was a joke, but they do think we are lazy for sure. We aim to not make our kids feel that way if they just want to chill a bit or have a short lie in in that kind of situation. I had okayed the extra 30 minutes with my mum beforehand..
another thing we will try to do is just to show some empathy for what it’s like to have young kids and not always turn up at 5 pm on a Sunday evening.. unannounced..